tylerrowland

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I went in for my two week check-up yesterday to have my staples removed. I am so glad to have them out now. I am now able to eat pureed food and take whole pills. I have begun eating a few different pureed foods, and I'm loving every minute of it. I never thought pureed food would taste so darn good! My weight loss is progressing well. Only 21 pound until I am under 300lbs! I can't remember the last time I was under 300lbs. It had to have been in junior high school. I can't wait!!!

I am home from the hospital a for a couple of days now. I was released on Saturday around 2:00 after having my RNY on Thursday around 11:00.  There was a slight complication during surgery. When sewing the new pouch shut there was a slight leak. Now this could be a very serious complication, but the doctor saw the leak during surgery testing and was able to fix the leak before I was sewn up. I felt pretty good when I woke up, although there was a lot of pain I was able to control it pretty well with my morphine drip. I was up and walking the first night and walked about four times within 12 hours of surgery. Due to the leak during surgery DR. Fuller wanted me to have a leak test Friday Morning. Unfortunately the leak test was not given to me until around 3:00 in the afternoon. I was unable to have anything to drink until after the leak test was done, so all hopes of going home on Friday were diminished when DR. Fuller found out I still hadn't had my test after noon. He was definitely keeping me another day to be sure I could keep down liquids well. So I knew I would be there another night and decided to make the best of it. I was getting all of the walking in that I could and all of the liquids possible after leak test came back clear. Saturday morning I was told that I would be released by about 10:00, but that didn't happen.  There was a concern with my last blood test showing my blood was too thin. I had to have another blood test that showed my blood levels had normalized, then I was released in the afternoon. The ride home was a little rough, but not too bad. Sunday was pretty uneventful, just very tough to get all of my protein and liquids in. I took a shower, which felt awesome, and a little exercise.  Today I walked to get the mail. It was so nice out this afternoon and felt great to get out and walk a little bit. I'm still trying very hard to get in my protein. I know each day will get a little better and easier. I am so excited to get feeling better and exercising like crazy.
I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!

Leaving for the hospital in a minute. Surgery is at 10:30.

More later.

I started the clear liquid diet today. It isn't going to be easy, but it's only today and tomorrow then surgery on Thursday!

I can do this!
and...
I WILL do this!

I spoke with my District Manager on Friday and he said HR had approved me taking three weeks off without any loss of pay with our paid medical time off benefit. I am fortunate to work for a company that understands the need to have extended time off for medical purposes without loosing much needed income. I am all set for my surgery with everything I need except choosing my protein supplement. I have tried a few, and just need to pick one to have at home for me after surgery. I am so excited and I can't wait for surgery day to be here and done!

The other night I had a horrible nightmare. I had a dream about having the surgery. -DREAM- The entire procedure went extremely well, and I was sent home the very next day with no complications. I was feeling great and couldn't even tell that I had surgery. That is where the trouble began. I found myself eating donuts the day after surgery! I knew that I shouldn't be eating them, but they were there and I had no problem eating them. I said to myself  "why are you eating these - OH MY GOD!" Then I woke up in a state of panic. -END DREAM- I know this won't happen because I won't be able to eat at all, let alone donuts; not to mention the fact that we don't even have that kind of food in the house. This nightmare just made me think about all of the previous times that I have failed at weight loss, and how scared I am that I will fail again. That's right - I'M SCARED!! Not about the surgery itself or how I will feel after the surgery, I am scared that I will fail yet another time. I know that every day is going to be a battle against myself, but my future has to win the battle and the war. Every time I think about eating something I shouldn't, I have to ask myself if the food is what I want, or do I want a longer, healthier, better life. I know the answer to that, I am simply concerned that my willpower won't be strong enough. I told Sara about my dream, and it actually made her feel a little better I think. I felt like she understood how much I want this to work, and that I understand what I need to do in my mind to be successful. This new life will have to be more mind over body than anything I have ever done in my entire life. It won't be easy, that's for sure.
I MUST BE SUCCESSFUL!
and...
I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!!
Time now just to sit back and wait. I hate waiting...

I went in this morning for my pre-op appointment. Further away from the surgery than normal due to the holidays being right around the corner. I had my final check-ups and they verified with me that they had everything that they needed. I had to sign a lot of papers and they went over what needs to be done the days prior to surgery and the morning of. I am so excited and anxious, I can't believe this soon going to happen for me. This surgery will open up to me a life that I have always wanted to live, but have been physically unable to do. Provided everything goes well for me after surgery; one year from now I could weigh less than I weighed in middle school. That's outrageous, and I can't wait! My wife is concerned about my dedication to the surgery and my follow through after surgery. I don't blame her at all for having those feelings. She has watched me try and try time and time again to loose weight and keep it off, ending with nothing but failure. I know inside that this is my one true chance at achieving what I have longed to do for so many years. If I don't follow through with this process and be 110% dedicated, I will have put Sara, myself, my family and friends through a whole lot of stress and difficult times for NOTHING.
I MUST BE SUCCESSFUL!
and...
I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL!!
Time now just to sit back and wait. I hate waiting...

Judy from the UCD Bariatric Center called me this morning and said "let's get you scheduled." I am scheduled for surgery January 8, 2009. I am so excited!! I was so excited when I hung up the phone from talking to Judy, I started busting out laughing and crying hysterically. I then regained my composure enough to call my wife and give her the good news. Now she can request the time off of work far enough in advance there won't be any problem getting the time she needs to be with me. After talking to Sara, I called my mom at work and told her the good news. My parents are excited and very supportive. All along I have been wishing they could come out here from Ohio to be with me for the surgery, but I never expected them to because of the short notice and long distance. When talking to my mom she asked me if I would like to have them out here. OF COURSE! I am so happy they are going to be here for me when I have the surgery. I am so excited to see them. I even helped them book their flight tonight when I got home from work. They will be here for a week. I am so incredibly excited and amazed that this is going to be happening in only just over a month from now. Two days and four weeks from now I will also be on the loosers bench!

Yesterday 12/3/08 was a very eventful and extremely exciting day. In the morning I had a PET Myocardial Profusion Stress Test. That was a VERY strange experience. It feels very weird to be laying down relaxing and all of a sudden your heart begins to race. Very, very weird. That whole experience took two hours yesterday, but I am glad to have it done to make sure my heart is in good condition and ready for surgery and all the stress I will put on it post-op exercising. I am getting so excited and anxious. I can't wait! Then yesterday afternoon I had my evaluation with the nutritionist. She was pleased with my food journals and extremely excited about my post-op plans for vitmains, protein supplements and exercise regimin. My wife and I actually have devoted an extra bedroom in our house as an exercise room. We have a treadmill, tv, dvd player, digital cable, and a stereo receiver in the room, along with some other small exercise equiptment such as weights and resistance band. We have exercise dvd's and on demand exercise programs on the digital cable, along with obviously just walking on the treadmill. Well after being cleared by the dietician I was able to meet with the nurse coordinator's assistant, Christina. She is awesome! She went over all of my requirements and said she is only waiting on the results of the PET scan that I had in the moring. She said she could schedule me for two weeks from now! I wish I could. I can't have time off of work until January. She said as of right now there are no openings for January, but that could change, and she will let me know. My wife's work has been surprisingly receptive of her taking time off, even though it may be a short notice. I guess even if I have to wait until March like I am currently scheduled, it will be here before I know it. Although, I do really want to get in and going with my new life right away in January. My wife and I have a trip home scheduled for June, and I would like nothing more than to have five months of weight loss after surgery when we go home next. I want to fit in the plane seats without a seatbelt extension. I can't wait!! I will update as soon as I know more.

I had my psych eval yesterday. I am cleared for surgery. Wednesday I have my PET Scan in the morning and then my nutrition evaluation in the afternoon. Hopefully after those two things are done, I will be able to schedule my surgery for January. I am so excited, I can't believe this could be finally happening!