violeteyes37

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Its been two years now since I got my lap band and I'm so grateful for having been given this opportunity. Today I weigh 175 lbs which isn't the lowest I have gotten but I'm still at least 80lbs lighter than I was. Sometimes I get so upset with myself because I'm 20 lbs heavier than my lightest weight but than I have to remind myself how far I have come. The advise that I would give to anyone who is just starting is that its not a miracle cure and we have to constantly work at it. If we do what we are suppose to be doing our band will do its part.

Once again as you can tell, I havent updated my page in forever. Things are stil going good. To date Im down about 84 lbs. This has been such a dream to me that sometimes I just cant believe it. I was hoping that maybe I would get to about 180 within a year and now Im 10 lbs past that. I do have to admit that Im starting to lose my focus. Old habits sneak back up when your not looking. I find that Im letting all of the comments effect me in a negative way. The more I hear how much weight I have lost the more I seem to make bad food choices. Its like I think Im immune from gaining the weight back or something. My news years resoultion this year isnt too lose weight but just to regain focus on changing my life.

As you can tell, I havent updated in a while; not because things are going bad but because things are great. I just got my 3rd fill and from what the Dr says, Im now at 9 in a VG band. I think the restriction is a little better but I still havent had any problems with eating or drinking. I know it sounds crazy but I would like to experience just once the feeling of being stucked or sliming. Im starting to think that I may max out of fill room without ever having any issues with eating. I know thats actually a good thing, but you know what I mean. 

I still cant lie and say that I exercise everyday. I have gotten better but its no where like it should be. The good thing is that Im still losing even without it. Im now down to about 186 and the funny thing is that my family thinks that I have lost enough. I think my goal is 150, that will give me a little wiggle room. 

I LOVE MY BAND

I cant believe it, I stepped on the scale this morning and there it was. I had hit onederland 199. I never thought I would see this number again in my life. The last time I was under 200 had to have been about 10 yrs ago. I thought I would be more excited than I am but now Im just looking forward to getting the scale to be some where around 180. I remember weighing 180 and thought I was that thing at the time. To me I dont think I was fat at the weight but just had curves where they were suppose to be. But than again I was in my 20s than so Im not sure if its going to look the same. Confession time, I still to this day have not exercise like I need to. I dont know what its going to take to make me gett off my butt and get to the gym. I keep coming up with these excuses that right now I dont have the money because Im paying to get my son in college and my daughter is in her first year of high school so its designer this and designer that. I know I shouldnt let her get caught up with that type of thing but thats easier said than done. So the bottom line is that Im allowing myself to be last just as I have always done and what is the reason for having gained so much weight in the first place. I do keep telling myself though that I made my body a promise that if it let me get to onederland without too much trouble that I would start to exercise like I know I should have so I have got to keep up my end of the bargin. So hopefully the next time I post I will be talking about how I have joined the gym and how much I just love it. My job has a gym and I think it only cost something like 5 dollars a week or something without the large down payment like other gyms so I really have no excuse plus it is just taken right out of your check. The only thing I hate is that I would have to go after work and I dont get off until 8:30 and than its too far to drive on my off days and Im not going to go before work and have to take a shower there. Hum sounds like more excuses to me. Oh yea, I had my second fill and dont feel much different than the first. I guess I still haven hit my sweet spot.

I cant believe that Im getting close to being under 200 pounds. This morning I weighed in somewhere around 206. I have to get a digital scale. My old scale though its right on with the dr scale just doesnt do the job. The dial is small and because my stomach is still in the way of looking straight down, I cant get a good reading because I have to kind of bend over to look at the number and that causes the dial to move. Anyway I am so happy. It has been atleast 8 maybe 10 years since I have been under 200. I never thought it would happen again. There was a time when I would tell myself that it was ok if I weighed so much because I was older now and it wasnt that big of a deal. I was thin and cute in my 20's and now those days was gone and I just needed to get use to it. Who was I kidding? My new goal is to be 40 and fabulous. I have a couple of years to get there so now Im even considering adding a little bit of plastic surgery to those plans. At first I thought I would be happy just to lose the weight, but why stop there.

I havent post in a while because there hasnt been anything different to say. I have been sticking to making good food choices and it has been paying off for me. Todate, Im down 44lbs and sometimes it is hard to believe because I feel that it is happening without much effort on my part. Its so much easier to make good choices when your not hungry all of the time and your body demanding that either you feed it something or else. Thats how I use to feel. I would be trying so hard to keep my calories down but my body seemed to demand the opposite. I mean I would literally get sick if I hadnt eaten much. Now I find that at times I have to make myself eat something just because. The other day I found myself thinking that maybe this weight loss was going to be short lived just like all of the other times, but than I realized one major difference between this time and the others, I have a band that I love so much and as long as I do what Im suppose to be doing my band is going to have my back.

I had my first fill almost a week ago. It went easier than I had thought. I was braceing myself for some kind  of pain and before I knew it, it was over. I think I could actually fill the band getting tighter, but as far as saying I have restriction, Im not so sure about. I drank the water just fine afterwards and havent had any problem with anything going down. I do however think that Im not getting as hungry as I was and staying full longer. So I believe that is what restriction is suppose to feel like though Im looking for some kind of sensation when I eat. 

I still havent got my butt up and done much of a workout. One day I did walk down to krogers with my boyfrind ( the shopping center is only a couple of blocks away), and than the other morning I got up and did a session of walking with Leslie Sasone (something like that) for about 20 minutes. I also went and discussed joining a gym but Im not that excited about the cost. Its 116 up front and than 20 per week. Thats not that much but it is if I dont stick with it or go too often. I told the guy that I wanted to start with the free 2 week trail that was advertised to get me there in the first place and than I would decide from there. So Im suppose to go Tuesday morning at 9:30 and he is going to have a trainer available for me. Atleast that is what he said. I got the feeling that once he realized I wasnt going to commit to anything right at that moment. he wasnt really that interested in what I was saying. Well see. 

My weight loss is continuing, which Im very happy about. I have lost 34 lbs since the start of preop.  I track my food and have been keeping my calories low and getting in the protein that Im suppose to. Some days I think that Im not eating enough. Between not really being hungry and just not having the time to eat when Im suppose to, Im just not getting all of my food in. The nutritonalist whats me to eat 6 smalls meals a day, and its just too hard to do when Im at work and tied to my phone all day. I can barely sip on water between a phone call much less eat something. Than there is the stupid rule that you cant eat anything at your desk that uses a utensil. However I can eat chips and candy bars. I love my job because they have insurance that paid for my surgery, but at the same time Im starting to hate it. I think losing weight has a lot to do with this. My confidence is building.