vsmith080808
I've been called Valerie Ann with the Big Fat Can since before the age of 10. Back then, I was chubby, but not obese. Yet, I felt consumed and judged by my weight all the time. I went on my first doctor supervised diet at the age of 11, lost weight and remember feeling good. I wore my first two piece and started feeling normal like all the other kids until I was told by a friend that I was still fat. During 8th grade, a few chubby classmates were brought down to the nurses office for regular weigh in's...I was 130 pounds. My Sophmore year of High School at the age of 16, I lost weight and weighed 123 and felt wonderful and open to a whole new world. Again, I was told that even though I lost weight, I was still fat. Yet I weighed within 5-10 pounds of my friends.
The message I repeatedly received was I was never going to be thin enough, nor good enough. I took my refuge in food, using food as a substitute for every need, want, desire, feeling, etc. Over time, I began to accept myself as a large person and managed to enjoy life. One day, I actually had someone tell me that my problem was that I enjoyed life so much as a large person that I didn't have any incentive to lose weight. They were probably right. Until Now.
I'm 47, will be 48 in December. My mother has diabetes, atrilfribulation, asthma and 6 stents and has had a heart attack. My father has had a triple bypass, atrilfribulation and an anuerism. My brother of 43 has 2 stents. I see my future and it doesn't look pretty. For the sake of my health and life, I'm ready to make drastic changes.
I'm scheduled for the Realize Lap Band surgery on August 8th, 2008. Funny, 08-08-08 translates to me...oh I ate, oh I ate, oh I ate. This is how I find myself in such a critical situation. Waiting for the first day of the rest of my life.
I want to live, be healthy and really experience life. It is my responsibility to take care of my body and see that I maintain a healthy way of eating and exercising for life. No going back. I am officially allergic to certain types of food. My reaction is....I gain weight, become ill and can die. No epi needle will help my allergy. With the aide of the Realize Lap Band, following instruction, eating properly and exercising I will increase my odds for a longer healthier life.
Stay tuned and my God grant me the determination and strength to be successful in my life journey.
