WandaW
Update 09/22/08
Sep 22, 2008
Hi all
I know its been awhile, but I haven't really been up to the updating. Alot has been going on. Still unable to work and my long term disability has stopped (their doctors think I am cured my doctor says no way) the fight is on. Sitting home all day everyday will give a person cabin fever and I have it. No money coming in and I am really tired of asking family to pick up the bills for me. Yea my pride is getting in the way but I am very thankful for my family. I just want to stand on my two feet and make money to support myself.
Went to see my PCP today for BP check and it was normal. Stepped on his scale and it showed 223 that is amazing for me. Yes I know its slow but better to be slow then never. Any way I am thankful. It will get better!
So the WooHoo for the day is 43 lbs gone since June 30th.
I know its been awhile, but I haven't really been up to the updating. Alot has been going on. Still unable to work and my long term disability has stopped (their doctors think I am cured my doctor says no way) the fight is on. Sitting home all day everyday will give a person cabin fever and I have it. No money coming in and I am really tired of asking family to pick up the bills for me. Yea my pride is getting in the way but I am very thankful for my family. I just want to stand on my two feet and make money to support myself.
Went to see my PCP today for BP check and it was normal. Stepped on his scale and it showed 223 that is amazing for me. Yes I know its slow but better to be slow then never. Any way I am thankful. It will get better!
So the WooHoo for the day is 43 lbs gone since June 30th.
One Month
Aug 01, 2008
8/01/08
Okay I know I am only one month out but .... I really thought I would have lost more. But that being said the doctor stated that a 20 lb loss for the month is not bad at all. I just set things too high. But I am not depressed about it, I know that my body has been through h@ll and back and it is still recovering. I had to see my PCP on Tuesday due to my asthma is kicking butt and he had to give me a steroid shot to try and loosen my chest since I had no air movement. I want my asthma to get better and I am impatient with that. I want to be able to walk up stairs with out being out of breath. I know I have lost inches for I am in another size lower than what I started out and the measurements also showed. So I am not that unhappy about it . I will update more when there is more to tell.
Okay I know I am only one month out but .... I really thought I would have lost more. But that being said the doctor stated that a 20 lb loss for the month is not bad at all. I just set things too high. But I am not depressed about it, I know that my body has been through h@ll and back and it is still recovering. I had to see my PCP on Tuesday due to my asthma is kicking butt and he had to give me a steroid shot to try and loosen my chest since I had no air movement. I want my asthma to get better and I am impatient with that. I want to be able to walk up stairs with out being out of breath. I know I have lost inches for I am in another size lower than what I started out and the measurements also showed. So I am not that unhappy about it . I will update more when there is more to tell.
Happy Days
Jul 17, 2008
7/18/08
Saw my surgeon yesterday good news is that I didn't gain but stayed put at the 16/17 pound loss. He graduatd me to mush which is great. Now granted I did take his advise and made a meatloaf. Smelled sooo good. Took a baby slice and threw it in the blender and it tasted so good. I was only able to have less than a 1/4 teaspoon. But it was so good. I need to thank Marcia for calling me the other day when she read my blog knew I was having trouble and called to talk to me about it. I didn't realize I was that bad but I was. Again thank-you.
Saw my surgeon yesterday good news is that I didn't gain but stayed put at the 16/17 pound loss. He graduatd me to mush which is great. Now granted I did take his advise and made a meatloaf. Smelled sooo good. Took a baby slice and threw it in the blender and it tasted so good. I was only able to have less than a 1/4 teaspoon. But it was so good. I need to thank Marcia for calling me the other day when she read my blog knew I was having trouble and called to talk to me about it. I didn't realize I was that bad but I was. Again thank-you.
Disappointment
Jul 14, 2008
07/14/08
Okay I know its only been since June 30th but I guess I have my expectations too high. I thought by now I would be feeling better and doiong things that I used to do. (doc won't let me do anything.) I am tired of sitting around its too hot for me to walk (can't breathe) can't go swimming can't, mow the lawn. To make mattters worse I took my measurements and nothing has changed nothing not an inch. Then I get a letter in the mail stating that my medical leave is over at the end of the month and if I don't come back to work I will be terminated.(I hate that word). I have been out of work since last year due to asthma. There is alot of pressure now due to this and I want to eat food, food. Not protein drinks I am tired of protein drinks I want food. If the inches aren't going to go then I want to eat. I know I am being ungrateful but I am not. I am very thankful for the surgery. I really do hope that this will help me breathe better. I just want to see results. Well enough of my complaining for one day. Have a great day.
Lost Pounds July 08,2008
Jul 08, 2008
Well I had surgery on June 30, 2008 and yesterday I went to my PCP due to my asthma (bummer) but the good news is I lost 17lbs since surgery. Now that I can handle. The doc was thrilled to hear about the lost and wanted to check my incisions. Well the left one has opened up and is bleeding/leaking. He told me to contact my surgeon and have them look at it or stitch it. Mine were glued. I did what he asked and left two messages one with the bariatric care coordinator and one with the nurse. As of today no one has called me back. Last night it was so bad that I went and got butterfly bandages and ended up putting 4 to get it stopped.
I am going to call the boss in a little while and let him know that I will not be at the track tonight. He won't be pleased but I can't help it. I am afraid of it opening up again. The up and down and possibility of having to go over the guard rail for someone that has wrecked is very real. so I will skip tonight and see how I am feeling on Saturday when we have another race. More later.
I am going to call the boss in a little while and let him know that I will not be at the track tonight. He won't be pleased but I can't help it. I am afraid of it opening up again. The up and down and possibility of having to go over the guard rail for someone that has wrecked is very real. so I will skip tonight and see how I am feeling on Saturday when we have another race. More later.
Got my DATE
Jun 22, 2008
June 22, 2008
Finally, I got my date. I called my insurance company to see if they got my records and they did and told me I was approved. I went and emailed my doctors office and told them what was told to me and they called me the next day with a date.
I have many emotions running through my brain. What if I fail? What if I can't do this I fail at most things so why not this. I know I am my worst enemy . So many what ifs. I read and read about WLS and I know I will not fail.
I have gotten a binder and put in there all the info that they doctors office gave me and the pre and post op diet. A calendar of months so I can keep in mind my appointments and weight loss. I also put in there a notebook to put down my feelings, and my day to day stuff. Also the do not take medicine list. Yea the binder is kinda full but I feel I need this to stay on track. I will be adding my exercise journal to it. I have joined www.fitday.com so I can keep track of my calories. I have looked at the web sites for the protein. I don't think I have have forgotten anything I might have but if so I will find it and put it in the book.
Finally, I got my date. I called my insurance company to see if they got my records and they did and told me I was approved. I went and emailed my doctors office and told them what was told to me and they called me the next day with a date.
I have many emotions running through my brain. What if I fail? What if I can't do this I fail at most things so why not this. I know I am my worst enemy . So many what ifs. I read and read about WLS and I know I will not fail.
I have gotten a binder and put in there all the info that they doctors office gave me and the pre and post op diet. A calendar of months so I can keep in mind my appointments and weight loss. I also put in there a notebook to put down my feelings, and my day to day stuff. Also the do not take medicine list. Yea the binder is kinda full but I feel I need this to stay on track. I will be adding my exercise journal to it. I have joined www.fitday.com so I can keep track of my calories. I have looked at the web sites for the protein. I don't think I have have forgotten anything I might have but if so I will find it and put it in the book.
Happy
May 01, 2008
May 1, 2008
Okay I saw the Nut on Tuesday and then found out as soon as they get the rest of my files then I will have a confirmed date right now it is set for May 14, 2008 so I am getting closer.Whoo Hoo. Still haven't found out what my copay is. One step at a time. Crawling stage. Then look out I will stand up and take that first baby step. Can't wait !!!
Will post more soon.
Okay I saw the Nut on Tuesday and then found out as soon as they get the rest of my files then I will have a confirmed date right now it is set for May 14, 2008 so I am getting closer.Whoo Hoo. Still haven't found out what my copay is. One step at a time. Crawling stage. Then look out I will stand up and take that first baby step. Can't wait !!!
Will post more soon.
Frustration
Apr 27, 2008
4/27/08
Okay I am really frustrated. I really am starting to wonder if I will be able to have the surgery. Can I afford it? What is the amount the insurance company won't cover? Can I do this? What will happen if I can't? Can I handle the disappointment?
I have asked questions to the forum and never get an answer. What is the use I know that there are people out there that have gone thru the same thing or close to it. But hey I have never been in the" in crowd "so I will stay alone and read what others are talking about. People have talked about all that they have gone through and the differance it has made in their lives. I just want to be normal, normal weight, normal looks, just plain normal. Not the "big girl" not the large one that when I fell someone pointed to the concrete and said that I put a crack in it. Oh yea very hurtful and thoughtless.
But hey what do I do suck it up and go on. Okay the waiting is too much.
I do have an appointment to see the nut on tuesday so maybe I am making progress,
Okay I am really frustrated. I really am starting to wonder if I will be able to have the surgery. Can I afford it? What is the amount the insurance company won't cover? Can I do this? What will happen if I can't? Can I handle the disappointment?
I have asked questions to the forum and never get an answer. What is the use I know that there are people out there that have gone thru the same thing or close to it. But hey I have never been in the" in crowd "so I will stay alone and read what others are talking about. People have talked about all that they have gone through and the differance it has made in their lives. I just want to be normal, normal weight, normal looks, just plain normal. Not the "big girl" not the large one that when I fell someone pointed to the concrete and said that I put a crack in it. Oh yea very hurtful and thoughtless.
But hey what do I do suck it up and go on. Okay the waiting is too much.
I do have an appointment to see the nut on tuesday so maybe I am making progress,
Waiting
Apr 19, 2008
04/20/2008
Waiting is the test of time. I think every one that wants this surgery wants it now not when the insurance company or doctor says okay lets go.
Working EMS makes us the type A personality. We want to be in control. When something is out of our control it just throws everything out of wack. For me it was admitting that I have a problem that I have no control over. It goes so much against the grain. " they say patience, must have patience you didn't get that over night". Well let me tell you, I know very well that it didn't happen over night, but now I want it fixed. I want to be healthy I want to like myself again. You get so caught up with life that we forget to take care of us. It is now my turn to be selfish and take care of me. I have read all I can find on the up and coming surgery and the more I read the more I want it NOW. Well, now that I have vented for the day time to get busy. Changing the pool liner (what fun) lol.
Waiting is the test of time. I think every one that wants this surgery wants it now not when the insurance company or doctor says okay lets go.
Working EMS makes us the type A personality. We want to be in control. When something is out of our control it just throws everything out of wack. For me it was admitting that I have a problem that I have no control over. It goes so much against the grain. " they say patience, must have patience you didn't get that over night". Well let me tell you, I know very well that it didn't happen over night, but now I want it fixed. I want to be healthy I want to like myself again. You get so caught up with life that we forget to take care of us. It is now my turn to be selfish and take care of me. I have read all I can find on the up and coming surgery and the more I read the more I want it NOW. Well, now that I have vented for the day time to get busy. Changing the pool liner (what fun) lol.
