A Weird Place

Apr 02, 2009

Okay, so I've received a couple of messages now, asking me to blog again, so I've decided it's time. See, initially, I was blogging for me - so I wouldn't forget...but then I went to this dark place, this place where I regretted having the surgery, where I could not be happy about the scale going down, because I'd screwed it all up. My entire life felt like it was over.

Most of those feelings came during the mushy phase. That phase SUCKS! Taco Bell pintos and cheese were a lifesaver, but man, did I get depressed! Better now that I can eat actual food, and getting better every day.

I'm down 37 pounds from my highest weight, 33.5 from the day of surgery. My pant size has dropped from a 18/20 to a comfy 16, and my shirts are getting smaller too (roughly a 2x to an xl). But...

I'm in a weird place. 2/3 of the time, I'm blissed out of my mind that I had the surgery. Then 1/3 of the time, I beat myself up for not having been strong enough to not have the surgery. It's weird. But I'm assuming that this too shall pass.

Confession time: I stopped taking my Prilosec, which resulted in ulcer-like pains this week. Called my surgeon's nurse, back on Prilosec now and feeling better. But stupid, stupid, stupid! ALWAYS take your neds. ALWAYS.

One more thing (which also explains the scatter-brain-ness of this post)....PMS sucks BIG TIME after surgery. Nothing helps. I'm in sooooo much pain. But....

My butt looks damn good.

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