Barbara M.
September 2006
Sep 16, 2006
September 2, 2006
Well, it has officially been six months. Terry and I went to the Missouri Botanical Gardens for the Japanese Festival and I had a shiskabob - my first steak in six months! Yippee! It was delicious! I have to say I am struggling a bit with my food. I am able to eat a lot more right now, and I still have about 15 lbs. to lose. I need to get back on track and eat only those foods that will serve me nutritionally and forget those foods that serve me only to taste good. After the holiday weekend is over I am starting a new eating/exercise plan and I am going to get this 15 lbs. off. In the meantime, I am watching what I eat. Whoever said this is a quick fix - NOT! I am only six months out and this honeymoon is over. But I am still eternally grateful and very happy I did it.
Here is my new six month picture, taken today. Not too bad for an old lady!
September 17, 2006
Well, life is moving along as expected. Happy to say Lauren had her surgery this past week and is doing well. Yea, Lauren!!! I think that is everyone, now, who had been planning and hoping to have it. Rumor is that Harrah's is going to quit covering it for next year because all of us who had been waiting so long for the surgery jumped on it this first year of coverage and now they are not crazy about covering it anymore. I truly hope that is only a rumor.
I am down to 160 and can wear size 12 in some pants and a size Medium top. I am aiming for 150, so not much more to go. Am only 5 lbs. from being "normal" weight. I can't believe this has happened in just over 6 months. I wish my head would catch up to my body. I am also having some eating (or I guess I should say over-eating) issues that I am having to grapple with. Six months is not enough time to change 50 years of overeating habits. But I am working through them, trying to focus on the protein and water. I need to begin the exercise routine now, though, which I have sorely neglected.
I have interviewed for a promotion to another department at work and am waiting for my second interview. It is a lot more responsibility and a lot more money. What really is interesting, though, is that I don't think I would have gotten a second look had I still weighed 233 lbs. I know I read that a lot before I lost the weight, but I never believed I was a real victim of discrimination. I see it everyday now. People who never paid any attention to me before speak to me and look me in the eye. Men look at me (I am not too comfortable with that. In fact, I have this wonderful Barely There camisole I wear that kind of holds all the skin in, but it also makes my bust a little smaller, which makes me more comfortable because I don't like being a much smaller woman with a large bust. I guess that is something I should get used to, also. At any rate, cross your fingers for me, because I really want this job.
Saw about 6 people last night who I have known for 20+ years but who haven't seen me since the surgery. Some of them didn't know me when I walked in the room. Talk about double-takes! It felt really good. I have been 220+ in all the time they have known me. I was told I looked 25 years old! That was really nice to hear, although the chicken flap under my chin belies that statement... It is so nice to not be the fat one in the group. Not that there IS a fat one in the group - it's just that it's not ME. Does that make sense?
OK, it's late. I am having lunch with Sherry tomorrow - my friend who had surgery two years ago next month. She is having trouble with eating. A lot of IBS and stomach pain that they can't find the root of. She has shrunk to 139 at 5'7" and doesn't want to be that thin. I am hoping they can get her to stabilize and be able to eat a little better.
Goodnight!
Well, it has officially been six months. Terry and I went to the Missouri Botanical Gardens for the Japanese Festival and I had a shiskabob - my first steak in six months! Yippee! It was delicious! I have to say I am struggling a bit with my food. I am able to eat a lot more right now, and I still have about 15 lbs. to lose. I need to get back on track and eat only those foods that will serve me nutritionally and forget those foods that serve me only to taste good. After the holiday weekend is over I am starting a new eating/exercise plan and I am going to get this 15 lbs. off. In the meantime, I am watching what I eat. Whoever said this is a quick fix - NOT! I am only six months out and this honeymoon is over. But I am still eternally grateful and very happy I did it.
Here is my new six month picture, taken today. Not too bad for an old lady!
September 17, 2006
Well, life is moving along as expected. Happy to say Lauren had her surgery this past week and is doing well. Yea, Lauren!!! I think that is everyone, now, who had been planning and hoping to have it. Rumor is that Harrah's is going to quit covering it for next year because all of us who had been waiting so long for the surgery jumped on it this first year of coverage and now they are not crazy about covering it anymore. I truly hope that is only a rumor.
I am down to 160 and can wear size 12 in some pants and a size Medium top. I am aiming for 150, so not much more to go. Am only 5 lbs. from being "normal" weight. I can't believe this has happened in just over 6 months. I wish my head would catch up to my body. I am also having some eating (or I guess I should say over-eating) issues that I am having to grapple with. Six months is not enough time to change 50 years of overeating habits. But I am working through them, trying to focus on the protein and water. I need to begin the exercise routine now, though, which I have sorely neglected.
I have interviewed for a promotion to another department at work and am waiting for my second interview. It is a lot more responsibility and a lot more money. What really is interesting, though, is that I don't think I would have gotten a second look had I still weighed 233 lbs. I know I read that a lot before I lost the weight, but I never believed I was a real victim of discrimination. I see it everyday now. People who never paid any attention to me before speak to me and look me in the eye. Men look at me (I am not too comfortable with that. In fact, I have this wonderful Barely There camisole I wear that kind of holds all the skin in, but it also makes my bust a little smaller, which makes me more comfortable because I don't like being a much smaller woman with a large bust. I guess that is something I should get used to, also. At any rate, cross your fingers for me, because I really want this job.
Saw about 6 people last night who I have known for 20+ years but who haven't seen me since the surgery. Some of them didn't know me when I walked in the room. Talk about double-takes! It felt really good. I have been 220+ in all the time they have known me. I was told I looked 25 years old! That was really nice to hear, although the chicken flap under my chin belies that statement... It is so nice to not be the fat one in the group. Not that there IS a fat one in the group - it's just that it's not ME. Does that make sense?
OK, it's late. I am having lunch with Sherry tomorrow - my friend who had surgery two years ago next month. She is having trouble with eating. A lot of IBS and stomach pain that they can't find the root of. She has shrunk to 139 at 5'7" and doesn't want to be that thin. I am hoping they can get her to stabilize and be able to eat a little better.
Goodnight!
August 2006
Aug 08, 2006
8/9/06
Just a quick update - added the photo loop up top with all the photos from the last 5 months - plus a few extra. It's neat to see the change from 233-168 pass by. It really helps me see it.
Wearing a 14 going on a 12. Hard to believe. Saw my family this past weekend. Honestly, the look on their faces told me everything I have not been able to see in the mirror. It was affirming, energizing, and humbling. I could not have done this without their love and constant support. Thank you. You gave me a gift this weekend I cannot repay. I think I finally BELIEVE.
Health is good, most foods do well, work is fine. Shoulder is getting better. I really have no complaints.
Lauren's surgery is finally scheduled for September 13. She has to lose 30 lbs. before then in order to get it done lap. Keep her in your prayers.
Later!
Just a quick update - added the photo loop up top with all the photos from the last 5 months - plus a few extra. It's neat to see the change from 233-168 pass by. It really helps me see it.
Wearing a 14 going on a 12. Hard to believe. Saw my family this past weekend. Honestly, the look on their faces told me everything I have not been able to see in the mirror. It was affirming, energizing, and humbling. I could not have done this without their love and constant support. Thank you. You gave me a gift this weekend I cannot repay. I think I finally BELIEVE.
Health is good, most foods do well, work is fine. Shoulder is getting better. I really have no complaints.
Lauren's surgery is finally scheduled for September 13. She has to lose 30 lbs. before then in order to get it done lap. Keep her in your prayers.
Later!
July 2006
Jul 09, 2006
07/10/06
It has been quite awhile since I updated. I re-read my last entry and I was pretty down-in-the-dumps. Things look up a little. My foot is back to normal, but I immediately developed bursitis in my left shoulder that hurts like crazy. It is doing better now, but it was pretty bad for a couple of weeks.
My weight has been stuck between 180-185 for the past 5-6 weeks, it seems. I haven't been making the best food choices. Actually the food choices aren't bad, it's the amounts and the frequency of eating that seems to be problematic. I'm grazing alot - I don't seem to have set times to eat and I see that it might be even more difficult now that I have started working Graveyard shift. I think I need to sit down and work out a specific schedule and maybe even regular, specific foods. These last 30 lbs. are going to be the toughest to lose, I am sure of it. It just doesn't seem fair that I have to work so hard at it now at only four months out. Arghhhh.
Lashonda and Angie have both had surgery and are doing well, I think. Debbie is, too. I can see the changes in Shonda and Debbie - Angie hasn't come back to work. Lauren has run into some obstacles, but I think will overcome them soon and be on the road to surgery. I am keeping her in my thoughts and prayers. She keeps up a good face but I know she is discouraged sometimes.
I am fitting into size 14 pants - they are a bit tight, but my 16s are getting too big. My tops are still XL and L. I think they will always be larger since I am larger busted, although the girls are getting a little saggy.
Enough for now - Happy Independence Month!
It has been quite awhile since I updated. I re-read my last entry and I was pretty down-in-the-dumps. Things look up a little. My foot is back to normal, but I immediately developed bursitis in my left shoulder that hurts like crazy. It is doing better now, but it was pretty bad for a couple of weeks.
My weight has been stuck between 180-185 for the past 5-6 weeks, it seems. I haven't been making the best food choices. Actually the food choices aren't bad, it's the amounts and the frequency of eating that seems to be problematic. I'm grazing alot - I don't seem to have set times to eat and I see that it might be even more difficult now that I have started working Graveyard shift. I think I need to sit down and work out a specific schedule and maybe even regular, specific foods. These last 30 lbs. are going to be the toughest to lose, I am sure of it. It just doesn't seem fair that I have to work so hard at it now at only four months out. Arghhhh.
Lashonda and Angie have both had surgery and are doing well, I think. Debbie is, too. I can see the changes in Shonda and Debbie - Angie hasn't come back to work. Lauren has run into some obstacles, but I think will overcome them soon and be on the road to surgery. I am keeping her in my thoughts and prayers. She keeps up a good face but I know she is discouraged sometimes.
I am fitting into size 14 pants - they are a bit tight, but my 16s are getting too big. My tops are still XL and L. I think they will always be larger since I am larger busted, although the girls are getting a little saggy.
Enough for now - Happy Independence Month!
June 2006
Jun 06, 2006
06/07/06
Well, I should be feeling really good today. The foot doctor freed me from the boot yesterday! That thing was really hurting my incision, which wasn't healing at all. So I can wear shoes now, although it still hurts quite a bit. I haven't had to take any pain meds, though for 5-6 days. He won't clear me to exercise until I see him in four weeks. I was going to go to Curves today to do the upper body stuff, but, to be honest, the best part of the workout for me was the running in-between the machines, so I didn't go. I need to, because I am totally wasting the money, but I just don't have the energy.
I have been very depressed lately and so I am going to see a psychologist next Monday. I wish I could shake it. I should be really happy with how I am doing and how I look, but I am just not happy. I don't want to do anything but sleep on the couch. I didn't get a day shift for the next 6 months at work, so I chose grave shift so I could get Sun-Mon off. Those happen to be the holidays this year as well. I hope I did the right thing but I am kind of scared about that as well. Part of the problem is Terry. He is the kindest, gentlest, nicest person I have ever known. But I am not in love with him, have not been in love with him for years. And the idea of sharing this totally new life with him for the rest of my life is very depressing to me. We do not have the same interests at all. It was OK when all I did was sit at home, but I don't want to do that anymore. He has the interests and thoughts of a 20-year old man, which I think can be expected since he missed 20 years while he was a practicing alcoholic. While he is now very responsible work-wise, he is living those years that he never lived, and I am just not interested in doing that at 50 years old. But he was there for me when no one else was. I can't hurt him. I won't hurt him. And so I fall deeper and deeper into this canyon that I may never be able to climb out of. Why did I do this surgery? Wasn't it to be happier, healthier, younger? More active, more attractive? Am I doomed to live my life with Terry and my dog stuck in my home, never knowing what I could be missing?
Sorry about all of this. I am having an especially hard morning.
Well, I should be feeling really good today. The foot doctor freed me from the boot yesterday! That thing was really hurting my incision, which wasn't healing at all. So I can wear shoes now, although it still hurts quite a bit. I haven't had to take any pain meds, though for 5-6 days. He won't clear me to exercise until I see him in four weeks. I was going to go to Curves today to do the upper body stuff, but, to be honest, the best part of the workout for me was the running in-between the machines, so I didn't go. I need to, because I am totally wasting the money, but I just don't have the energy.
I have been very depressed lately and so I am going to see a psychologist next Monday. I wish I could shake it. I should be really happy with how I am doing and how I look, but I am just not happy. I don't want to do anything but sleep on the couch. I didn't get a day shift for the next 6 months at work, so I chose grave shift so I could get Sun-Mon off. Those happen to be the holidays this year as well. I hope I did the right thing but I am kind of scared about that as well. Part of the problem is Terry. He is the kindest, gentlest, nicest person I have ever known. But I am not in love with him, have not been in love with him for years. And the idea of sharing this totally new life with him for the rest of my life is very depressing to me. We do not have the same interests at all. It was OK when all I did was sit at home, but I don't want to do that anymore. He has the interests and thoughts of a 20-year old man, which I think can be expected since he missed 20 years while he was a practicing alcoholic. While he is now very responsible work-wise, he is living those years that he never lived, and I am just not interested in doing that at 50 years old. But he was there for me when no one else was. I can't hurt him. I won't hurt him. And so I fall deeper and deeper into this canyon that I may never be able to climb out of. Why did I do this surgery? Wasn't it to be happier, healthier, younger? More active, more attractive? Am I doomed to live my life with Terry and my dog stuck in my home, never knowing what I could be missing?
Sorry about all of this. I am having an especially hard morning.
May 2006
May 28, 2006
May 2, 2006
Went to the foot doctor today and found out my appt. was yesterday. S%^&!!!! I was, however, able to get an appt. for tomorrow morning, so I will find out then if I have to have surgery. It really has been hurting today. Since I am home for the rest of the day I may take some pain medicine.
I weighed 195 today! Tried on a lot of clothes from Sherry that fit and packed up a lot of clothes from the closet for Goodwill and for Deb. Shonda called last night and seems to be doing really well. She feels good and is in good spirits. She said that, after talking to me right after my surgery, she was no longer nervous because I seemed to be doing so well, and I was kind of an inspiration. I am so glad that I could help her feel confident about it. She certainly has had a great attitude.
Went to Walmart today and actually shopped around in the regular size dept. at some size 16s. Honest to God! I ended up just getting some size 16 knit shorts to go to Curves in but it was a day to remember....
Well, I need to go eat something. Have a groovy day.
Barb
May 8, 2006
Hey there. Well, it is official, I am having surgery on my foot a week from today. It shouldn't be too bad - I am having it on my days off and just taking one day off from work. I will be glad to have it over with.
Have been having some steady weight loss. Weigh 192 right now, so it is dropping off. Bought a pair of size 14 capris at Marshall's yesterday and they fit! They have two little elastic gores, one on each side, and I am sure that helps, but they are comfortable. They have a drawstring, too, so they will fit for awhile to come. I just can't believe a size 14!!! They are Bill Blass, though, and I am finding that Bill Blass tends to fit pretty well.
I am able to eat a bit more food right now and I have to be careful. I think I actually ate about 1100 calories the other day and I don't want to do that. I think I need to try to find a new job, because the boredom at work causes me to think about eating, and watching my coworkers eat all the time makes me want to eat myself. In about 20 lbs. I think I am going to bite the bullet and go job searching.
Got to run. Take care!
May 23, 2006
188 lbs. today. Just a few more lbs. and I will just be overweight! Hard to believe, having been obese all of my life. I still don't see it most days when I look in the mirror, but when I catch my reflection I am sometimes startled.
The foot surgery. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake, but it has been the most painful thing I have ever experienced, and I have experienced a lot of pain in my life. I ended up being out of work two extra days and only went back because I needed to financially. It has been really horrible. I can't even imagine the day when it will feel as good as it did when it was just broken! On lots of pain meds so of course am constipated like crazy.
Blood sugars are really good, I do feel blessed to have been able to have this tool to resolve the diabetes. I am concerned about being able to eat so much at three months out. I ate a whole grilled cheese sandwich the other day which I thought was way too much but I didn't feel stuffed or even full. I guess I am not going to be one of the lucky ones who knows when they are full. I just have to eat the amount I am told I should eat and then stop.
Wearing a size 16 pants and XL shirt, sometimes a L, but those are a little tight. Am happy about that. I have 45 lbs. to lose to get to my personal goal of 143.
Am pretty doped up from the pain meds so I am going to sign off. Have a groovy day!
May 29, 2006
Here is my 3 month picture. I now am officially just overweight! It is pretty mind-blowing! This picture was taken at Cary's house after we went to a Chamber Chorus concert and then out to dinner at the Canyon Cafe'. It was only the second time I have gone out to dinner since surgery (just haven't been interested), and I ordered some chicken spring rolls that they had as an appetizer and could only eat one half! Had a lot to bring home! Anyway, I think the picture is pretty good.
Went to the foot doctor today and found out my appt. was yesterday. S%^&!!!! I was, however, able to get an appt. for tomorrow morning, so I will find out then if I have to have surgery. It really has been hurting today. Since I am home for the rest of the day I may take some pain medicine.
I weighed 195 today! Tried on a lot of clothes from Sherry that fit and packed up a lot of clothes from the closet for Goodwill and for Deb. Shonda called last night and seems to be doing really well. She feels good and is in good spirits. She said that, after talking to me right after my surgery, she was no longer nervous because I seemed to be doing so well, and I was kind of an inspiration. I am so glad that I could help her feel confident about it. She certainly has had a great attitude.
Went to Walmart today and actually shopped around in the regular size dept. at some size 16s. Honest to God! I ended up just getting some size 16 knit shorts to go to Curves in but it was a day to remember....
Well, I need to go eat something. Have a groovy day.
Barb
May 8, 2006
Hey there. Well, it is official, I am having surgery on my foot a week from today. It shouldn't be too bad - I am having it on my days off and just taking one day off from work. I will be glad to have it over with.
Have been having some steady weight loss. Weigh 192 right now, so it is dropping off. Bought a pair of size 14 capris at Marshall's yesterday and they fit! They have two little elastic gores, one on each side, and I am sure that helps, but they are comfortable. They have a drawstring, too, so they will fit for awhile to come. I just can't believe a size 14!!! They are Bill Blass, though, and I am finding that Bill Blass tends to fit pretty well.
I am able to eat a bit more food right now and I have to be careful. I think I actually ate about 1100 calories the other day and I don't want to do that. I think I need to try to find a new job, because the boredom at work causes me to think about eating, and watching my coworkers eat all the time makes me want to eat myself. In about 20 lbs. I think I am going to bite the bullet and go job searching.
Got to run. Take care!
May 23, 2006
188 lbs. today. Just a few more lbs. and I will just be overweight! Hard to believe, having been obese all of my life. I still don't see it most days when I look in the mirror, but when I catch my reflection I am sometimes startled.
The foot surgery. I thought it was going to be a piece of cake, but it has been the most painful thing I have ever experienced, and I have experienced a lot of pain in my life. I ended up being out of work two extra days and only went back because I needed to financially. It has been really horrible. I can't even imagine the day when it will feel as good as it did when it was just broken! On lots of pain meds so of course am constipated like crazy.
Blood sugars are really good, I do feel blessed to have been able to have this tool to resolve the diabetes. I am concerned about being able to eat so much at three months out. I ate a whole grilled cheese sandwich the other day which I thought was way too much but I didn't feel stuffed or even full. I guess I am not going to be one of the lucky ones who knows when they are full. I just have to eat the amount I am told I should eat and then stop.
Wearing a size 16 pants and XL shirt, sometimes a L, but those are a little tight. Am happy about that. I have 45 lbs. to lose to get to my personal goal of 143.
Am pretty doped up from the pain meds so I am going to sign off. Have a groovy day!
May 29, 2006
Here is my 3 month picture. I now am officially just overweight! It is pretty mind-blowing! This picture was taken at Cary's house after we went to a Chamber Chorus concert and then out to dinner at the Canyon Cafe'. It was only the second time I have gone out to dinner since surgery (just haven't been interested), and I ordered some chicken spring rolls that they had as an appetizer and could only eat one half! Had a lot to bring home! Anyway, I think the picture is pretty good.
April 2006
Apr 28, 2006
April 5, 2006
Well, a little bit has gone by since I last updated. They were right - when the stall was over I dropped 12 lbs. like that! I now weigh 200 lbs. I haven't weighed 200 lbs. since high school. It is just amazing to me how this thing happens.
I turned 50 a couple of days ago. Am not feeling too good about it, but I think I am just having some minor depression issues anyway. Food is going well, I am tolerating almost everything now, just can't eat much.
April 10, 2006
I have a photo of my shih tzu with me from this past October and then one from about 4 weeks after surgery and I think you can really tell the difference in my face.
April 11, 2006
Happy Birthday to my nephew Robert! He is in his 30's - boy do I feel old!
Had kind of a WOW moment today. I had ordered some things from the Casual Living catalog last week and got them today. I ordered a cute capri set in a size XL thinking that I could wear it in a month or two (having worn 1X and 2X prior to surgery). Well, I tried it on just for fun, and by golly it fits now, so I will have to send it back! I don't think I will be able to wear it too long! I also bought a swimsuit in a regular size 16 and I have a ways to go before I can fit into it, but it is cute and I think it will last the summer.
I go back to work tomorrow and I am ready. Like Terry says, though, we'll see how long THAT lasts! LOL! I don't have a lot of clothes that fit, so I will be wearing a lot of the same clothes over and over, but I guess that is to be expected. I bought a couple of tops to get me through and a couple of new bras that actually hold the girls up! I was in a DD, but now am a D after only six weeks, so I needed a little more support. They are the regular ones I usually buy, but I got them for half price so it's not too much of a waste. I don't think I lost any weight this week - I weigh tomorrow - but I am getting smaller and that's what counts. Blood sugars seem to be stabilizing more and more, so that is good. Went to the grocery to stock up on foods easy to take to work. I think I will do better with my hunger issues once I am back - and you know those people will be watching what I eat like a hawk!
Enough for now. I still weigh 200 - 33 lbs. down in six weeks. It's all good.
04/26/06
Happy Birthday to my dear Sister Peggy! She is 59 today and really upset about turning 60 next year. She hardly acts 60 - we are all pretty young for our age. I told her that 60 is the new 40 and she felt MUCH better!
Well, the day before Easter I broke my foot just walking into work. It has been a huge pain in the butt...I mean foot. I may have to have surgery - will find out next week. In any event, the boot is on for another 7 weeks.
I finally broke 200 - I weigh 197 today!!!!! I weighed 199 yesterday, but it wasn't my official weigh-in day, so I waited until today to officially post it. I am only about 15 lbs. from being just "overweight". Unbelievable.
Am able to eat about everything other than what I am not supposed to eat (red meat, etc.) Still can't eat a lot, but probably more than 1/2 c. Am getting a little creative about my cooking and that helps. Discovered cooking my turkey pepperonie until it is crisp and dipping it in my cottage cheese ranch dressing - that is really good!
My hair was really falling out, so I got it all chopped off yesterday. We will be taking my 2 month photos next week, so I will post a new one with the new hair. I like my hair a little longer, but this will be so easy and I won't have to constantly mop up hair from the bathroom sink and tub.
Enough for now! Everyone have a groovy day!
Barb
April 29, 2006
I am gonna have to go to the board and find out how to make these pictures that I have put on Photobucket smaller....
OK - one thing I am noticing - I am finally getting a neck. I don't think I have ever had a neck before! I might actually wear a choker someday and not really be choked! LOL! What do you think of my fashion-concious footwear? That lovely boot I am still wearing on my broken foot? Two weeks down, six weeks to go. Will it ever end? I go to the doctor this week to see if I need surgery. I almost hope so just to get it over with. I will keep you posted.
Am eating some different things. Apples. Got some calorie free caramel dip from Walden Farms and it tastes pretty good, so I dipped some apple slices in it and they were delicious. Nice snack. So far my stomach has tolerated everything and I am grateful. I haven't tried any foods I shouldn't, and I am grateful. :-)
My friend from work had surgery last week and another one this week. Another two friends got approved yesterday. I am so happy for all of them. It is funny. I really didn't know these ladies all that well but to say hello to them and maybe chat a little before my surgery, but now I can say that this whole process has really made us friends. I am so happy for all of them, and they have been so happy for me in my journey. We all know the pain and struggles that obesity has caused us in our lives, and I know they are all soon to know the blessings that WLS will bring into their lives. So to Lauren, Shaunda, Angie and Deb - thanks for your wonderful words of encouragement and I only hope I can be there for you during your journey.
OK, folks, I am going through a "tired" period, so I need to go rest before I get ready for work. Have a groovy weekend.
Barb
Well, a little bit has gone by since I last updated. They were right - when the stall was over I dropped 12 lbs. like that! I now weigh 200 lbs. I haven't weighed 200 lbs. since high school. It is just amazing to me how this thing happens.
I turned 50 a couple of days ago. Am not feeling too good about it, but I think I am just having some minor depression issues anyway. Food is going well, I am tolerating almost everything now, just can't eat much.
April 10, 2006
I have a photo of my shih tzu with me from this past October and then one from about 4 weeks after surgery and I think you can really tell the difference in my face.
April 11, 2006
Happy Birthday to my nephew Robert! He is in his 30's - boy do I feel old!
Had kind of a WOW moment today. I had ordered some things from the Casual Living catalog last week and got them today. I ordered a cute capri set in a size XL thinking that I could wear it in a month or two (having worn 1X and 2X prior to surgery). Well, I tried it on just for fun, and by golly it fits now, so I will have to send it back! I don't think I will be able to wear it too long! I also bought a swimsuit in a regular size 16 and I have a ways to go before I can fit into it, but it is cute and I think it will last the summer.
I go back to work tomorrow and I am ready. Like Terry says, though, we'll see how long THAT lasts! LOL! I don't have a lot of clothes that fit, so I will be wearing a lot of the same clothes over and over, but I guess that is to be expected. I bought a couple of tops to get me through and a couple of new bras that actually hold the girls up! I was in a DD, but now am a D after only six weeks, so I needed a little more support. They are the regular ones I usually buy, but I got them for half price so it's not too much of a waste. I don't think I lost any weight this week - I weigh tomorrow - but I am getting smaller and that's what counts. Blood sugars seem to be stabilizing more and more, so that is good. Went to the grocery to stock up on foods easy to take to work. I think I will do better with my hunger issues once I am back - and you know those people will be watching what I eat like a hawk!
Enough for now. I still weigh 200 - 33 lbs. down in six weeks. It's all good.
04/26/06
Happy Birthday to my dear Sister Peggy! She is 59 today and really upset about turning 60 next year. She hardly acts 60 - we are all pretty young for our age. I told her that 60 is the new 40 and she felt MUCH better!
Well, the day before Easter I broke my foot just walking into work. It has been a huge pain in the butt...I mean foot. I may have to have surgery - will find out next week. In any event, the boot is on for another 7 weeks.
I finally broke 200 - I weigh 197 today!!!!! I weighed 199 yesterday, but it wasn't my official weigh-in day, so I waited until today to officially post it. I am only about 15 lbs. from being just "overweight". Unbelievable.
Am able to eat about everything other than what I am not supposed to eat (red meat, etc.) Still can't eat a lot, but probably more than 1/2 c. Am getting a little creative about my cooking and that helps. Discovered cooking my turkey pepperonie until it is crisp and dipping it in my cottage cheese ranch dressing - that is really good!
My hair was really falling out, so I got it all chopped off yesterday. We will be taking my 2 month photos next week, so I will post a new one with the new hair. I like my hair a little longer, but this will be so easy and I won't have to constantly mop up hair from the bathroom sink and tub.
Enough for now! Everyone have a groovy day!
Barb
April 29, 2006
I am gonna have to go to the board and find out how to make these pictures that I have put on Photobucket smaller....
OK - one thing I am noticing - I am finally getting a neck. I don't think I have ever had a neck before! I might actually wear a choker someday and not really be choked! LOL! What do you think of my fashion-concious footwear? That lovely boot I am still wearing on my broken foot? Two weeks down, six weeks to go. Will it ever end? I go to the doctor this week to see if I need surgery. I almost hope so just to get it over with. I will keep you posted.
Am eating some different things. Apples. Got some calorie free caramel dip from Walden Farms and it tastes pretty good, so I dipped some apple slices in it and they were delicious. Nice snack. So far my stomach has tolerated everything and I am grateful. I haven't tried any foods I shouldn't, and I am grateful. :-)
My friend from work had surgery last week and another one this week. Another two friends got approved yesterday. I am so happy for all of them. It is funny. I really didn't know these ladies all that well but to say hello to them and maybe chat a little before my surgery, but now I can say that this whole process has really made us friends. I am so happy for all of them, and they have been so happy for me in my journey. We all know the pain and struggles that obesity has caused us in our lives, and I know they are all soon to know the blessings that WLS will bring into their lives. So to Lauren, Shaunda, Angie and Deb - thanks for your wonderful words of encouragement and I only hope I can be there for you during your journey.
OK, folks, I am going through a "tired" period, so I need to go rest before I get ready for work. Have a groovy weekend.
Barb
March 2006
Mar 25, 2006
03/04/06
Well, I made it! I am now officially on the other side! Pretty tired so this will be kind of short - will add more later.
Surgery was uneventful - everything went well. The nursing staff at DePaul was a real mixture. The techs were all wonderful, and my night nurse was great. Both of my day nurses were difficult. I think that I am low maintenance. Maybe I am not. But it seemed that those two women did everything they could to make my stay as difficult as it could possibly be. The first day, the nurse seemed to run around like a chicken with her head cut off. And if I even asked a question while she was doing something else, she would snap at me with "Let me concentrate!" She definitely was not into multi-tasking! Yesterday the nurse was bound and determined that she was not going to give me sliding scale insulin because I was not eating. DUH?!?! Other than some isopure, there was nothing that I was taking in that had any nutritional value anyway. And furthermore, I didn't care whether or not she gave me sliding scale, because the doctor had already ordered that I go back to my regular regime, only half-dose. (Which, by the way is incredible. I am only on half dose and my readings are already normal.) She finally just went away and left me alone the rest of the day until it was time to check out. I was relieved. I also told her that I wasn't taking in much because I was in pain and the pain meds put me to sleep, at which time she made a snide comment about me wanting pain meds AGAIN? I turned and looked at her and said "Absolutely. Isn't that what they are prescribed for?" That kind of shut her up.
Anyway, I am doing OK. I don't really feel anything differently as far as a pouch or feeling full quickly or anything like that. I am sipping slowly and will do my darndest to get in everything. It did take me 45 minutes this morning to crush all my pills and get all of my supplements in. I gained 6 lbs. in the hospital, but they assure me it is from the fluids. It darn well better be!
More later and hi to Tara!
03/06/06
Good morning! I spend so much time reading the profiles and message board that I forget about updating my profile...
It has been a pretty uneventful few days at home. Had a lot of pain the first couple of days but it isn't so bad now and I think I will actually go outside for a walk today. The drainage has slowed way down and I go Wednesday to get the staples and the drain out. I think I will feel a little more freedom when that happens. Terry was here all weekend and I am amazed at how much smells got to me. He cooked some stuff with a lot of garlic and I thought I would puke. It just permeated the whole house. And then he popped some popcorn late Sunday night, so those two smells together were NOT GOOD!! We may have to have a talk about him not cooking things like that for awhile. It didn't make me hungry or tempt me, it just made me feel sick.
I am getting in all my protein and almost all my water. Taking my crushed meds is pretty gross right now with only being able to take in liquids. I have been taking them with Crystal Light lemonade, but it is not pretty. I think they will be much better when I can mix them with applesauce or something like that. On a real positive note, my blood sugar keeps dropping. This morning it was 86, and I was hesitant to take any insulin without talking to my PCP about what adjustments I should make. I have put a call in to him and we will see what he says. My main goal with this surgery was to be one of the 95% whose Type II Diabetes is resolved. I think I am seeing real progress already to that end.
I'm not hungry ever, but I do notice some head hunger. I am sure that is natural. I am a little concerned that I don't ever feel the pouch "full" as I think I should. I don't have to take tiny sips, but I don't gulp, either. I guess I will feel more when I start taking in soft foods. Have had some diarrhea - very watery and a beautiful olive green...hmm...
Enough for now. Have a groovy day!
03/08/06
ONE WEEK POST-OP and down 11 lbs. Not too shabby. I was really starting to hurt yesterday, though, and when I went to change the drain bandage, it was green and yucky, so I have a nice infection. I go to the doctor today so hopefully he will still remove the drain and give me an antibiotic and we can clear it up. It really hurts like hell!
Things are still going well. Pretty tired of the liquid diet, but I am not miserable. Got some ideas on how to spice things up a bit from the message board so I think I will try that in my shakes today. Still need to find a way to choke my crushed meds down - they are just awful. I will ask the nurse today if she has any other suggestions than what I have already tried.
Life is pretty boring around here. Terry is gone during the week so Rosie and I curl up and watch TV or hang out at the computer. When I feel better I am going to start some little projects around the house. Walked a little Monday and Tuesday, but still not much. It is pouring down rain today, so if I walk it will be around and around the house!
Gotta get cleaned up for the trip to the doctor. Called Sherry and asked her to take me so I could load up on pain meds and not have to drive. She is a doll.
Later!
03/11/06
I feel like the incredible shrinking woman! I have lost 18 lbs. in the 10 days since surgery. I feel pretty good, although I had my first bout of nausea last night and I think it was due to drinking my protein shake too fast. I am off pain meds (frankly only because I ran out. The first day after was rough because I really hurt, but I toughed it out and I was OK). The one thing I can say though is that I cannot wait to get some real food in my system. I am very sick of sweet stuff. I have the occasional broth but it just isn't working very well anymore and I think I will do much better when I get a little soft food into me. I get to start soft foods on Wednesday which is just a few days away so I can hang in there.
Going to my godson's 2nd BD party today and so I made a chocolate coconute protein shake and froze it to take along so I will be eating my "ice cream", too. Pretty good idea, huh?
Gonna go try to drink some water. So far, so fgood. Later.
03/13/06
Had a pretty quiet weekend. The birthday party was fine, but got really tired and left a little early. We went to the movies on Sunday, saw "16 Blocks" and really liked it. I have never been to a movie in my life without eating popcorn. Was happy to find that the smell made me sick! Was not even tempted!
But the BIG moment was today! I had my first solid BM in 13 days! Whoo-hoo!!!!!!
Later. :-)
03/15/06
I thought it was important to document my first day of FOOD!!!! It has gone really well so far. For breakfast I had 1/2 c. of cream of wheat with S/F brown sugar and it was delicious. It is really hard at this point to tell if I am full, but I was able to finish the whole thing, kind of surprised me. A couple hours later I had about 10 oz. of Isopure for my protein drink. Then for lunch I had a little less than 1/2 c. of refried beans, with just a sprinkle of FF cheddar and a sprinkle of taco sauce. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Again, don't feel full, but am definitely satisfied with that amount. It takes me the full 20 minutes to eat the meal (Nancy said to take no longer than 20 minutes). I bought some baby spoons to be sure my bites are small. All in all this has been a really good experience.
My blood sugars are still doing well, but my PCP cut my insulin back a little more because my sugar was too low in the middle of the night. So they are running a little higher than they were, but still very acceptable and lower than they have been in years. Yippee!!
OK - stats: 2 weeks post-op and I have lost 21 lbs. In 9 more lbs I will be in Onderland and I have not been there since I was in high school. And the best thing is I will be there without feeling terrible because I am doing it by letting my blood sugar run dangerously high. I have never been happier to have done something for myself in my whole life.
Off to support group tonight!
Later! :-)
03/17/06
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
03/18/06
Things are still going pretty well. I had a pretty nast pity party yesterday, though. I am so used to having food to fill my time and I find myself so bored as of late. I know, I know, I have to find new things to fill my time, but it is just not that easy a transition to make. I also want to eat. There. I said it. This nasty habit has not gone away nor is it going to, I fear. I am eating the entire 1/2 c. of food I am allowed and, while I guess I am satisfied, I am not feeling a full feeling yet. Nothing seems to bother my pouch, and I have not had any sick feelings, which is a good thing.
One thing that bothers me is that once I started eating some food, my blood sugars have increased significantly. I was so excited about my needs for less insulin, but it looks like I am going to have to go back to 25 units twice daily and still my reading this morning was 162. I want so much for this surgery to resolve my diabetes as it does for 85% of patients. I guess I just need a little time and patience.
I am losing at what I think is an extraordinary rate - 23 lbs. in 17 days. I can really tell and my clothes are quite loose. I need to get into an exercise routine now that I have some more energy. I did the WAP DVD the other night and could only go 1/2 mile, but I guess that is to be expected after having done no exercise for so long.
My friend Sherry who had WLS called today and said she had two bags of size 16-18 clothes to give me so I am going to pick them up today. I am so excited! I can't wear 16s yet but I will need them by the time I go back to work. I have already lost 26% of the weight to get to goal in only a little over 2 weeks! It is amazing. And I am doing it in a more healthy manner and so my legs aren't weak and I don't feel bad all the time.
Water, Protein, Vitamins, follow the surgeon's food rules. If I do that I can't go wrong.
Later!
03/21/06
Tonight I had my first solid food. I have been on soft foods for a week and tonight began adding meats, seafood, crackers, protein bars, and peanut butter. So dinner was 2 T. of tuna salad (just plain white albacore tuna made with a tiny dab of FF mayo) on 2 slices of whole grain melba toast. Up until now I never had that full feeling in my pouch but I did tonight! I didn't overdo it, I was full but not stuffed, but I actually felt that I was full. I was beginning to think I was never going to sense it because oatmeal and mashed potatoes and the protein drinks weren't triggering it for me.
I also bought some FF/SF pudding mix today and added a teaspoon or so to my protein drink this afternoon and it thickened it right up without having to add ice to the blender. It was cheesecake flavor and it was great!
So far I have been able to tolerate most everything, so I know not to even TRY things I shouldn't eat, like sugar or snacky things. I am just three weeks out and didn't lose anything this third week and was mildly disappointed, but everyone here reminded me that I have done really well so far and it is to be expected. It was suggested I get rid of my scales - I am not quite ready for that yet. I am doing really well by weighing only once a week - I used to weigh myself multiple times a DAY before surgery! But I was shocked when I put on a pair of 16W Bill Blass jeans today that a friend handed down to me. I was in 20W prior to surgery. The 16s are a little tight in the waist but comfy everywhere else, so I am pleased.
03/26/06
Today was my sister Linda and her husband Alan's anniversary and they came to St. Louis to visit and we had a great time. It was my first venture to a restaurant as well, and that actually went very smoothly. We went to a Longhorn Steakhouse and I orderered a small cup of potato soup - was only able to eat about 1/4 c. of it but it was delicious. Also had one of Linda's grilled shrimp, and I was satisfied. It worked out great.
Today before they left we celebrated Rosie's 10th birthday (she's my dear shih tzu). My camera wasn't charged, so Linda took photos and is going to email them to me. I am just learning photobucket, so here is a picture of Rosie, and I will post the birthday photos later ( we had party hats and everything!)
I still have not lost another pound, going on 13 days. I just have to have faith that it will happen...
Later!
Well, I made it! I am now officially on the other side! Pretty tired so this will be kind of short - will add more later.
Surgery was uneventful - everything went well. The nursing staff at DePaul was a real mixture. The techs were all wonderful, and my night nurse was great. Both of my day nurses were difficult. I think that I am low maintenance. Maybe I am not. But it seemed that those two women did everything they could to make my stay as difficult as it could possibly be. The first day, the nurse seemed to run around like a chicken with her head cut off. And if I even asked a question while she was doing something else, she would snap at me with "Let me concentrate!" She definitely was not into multi-tasking! Yesterday the nurse was bound and determined that she was not going to give me sliding scale insulin because I was not eating. DUH?!?! Other than some isopure, there was nothing that I was taking in that had any nutritional value anyway. And furthermore, I didn't care whether or not she gave me sliding scale, because the doctor had already ordered that I go back to my regular regime, only half-dose. (Which, by the way is incredible. I am only on half dose and my readings are already normal.) She finally just went away and left me alone the rest of the day until it was time to check out. I was relieved. I also told her that I wasn't taking in much because I was in pain and the pain meds put me to sleep, at which time she made a snide comment about me wanting pain meds AGAIN? I turned and looked at her and said "Absolutely. Isn't that what they are prescribed for?" That kind of shut her up.
Anyway, I am doing OK. I don't really feel anything differently as far as a pouch or feeling full quickly or anything like that. I am sipping slowly and will do my darndest to get in everything. It did take me 45 minutes this morning to crush all my pills and get all of my supplements in. I gained 6 lbs. in the hospital, but they assure me it is from the fluids. It darn well better be!
More later and hi to Tara!
03/06/06
Good morning! I spend so much time reading the profiles and message board that I forget about updating my profile...
It has been a pretty uneventful few days at home. Had a lot of pain the first couple of days but it isn't so bad now and I think I will actually go outside for a walk today. The drainage has slowed way down and I go Wednesday to get the staples and the drain out. I think I will feel a little more freedom when that happens. Terry was here all weekend and I am amazed at how much smells got to me. He cooked some stuff with a lot of garlic and I thought I would puke. It just permeated the whole house. And then he popped some popcorn late Sunday night, so those two smells together were NOT GOOD!! We may have to have a talk about him not cooking things like that for awhile. It didn't make me hungry or tempt me, it just made me feel sick.
I am getting in all my protein and almost all my water. Taking my crushed meds is pretty gross right now with only being able to take in liquids. I have been taking them with Crystal Light lemonade, but it is not pretty. I think they will be much better when I can mix them with applesauce or something like that. On a real positive note, my blood sugar keeps dropping. This morning it was 86, and I was hesitant to take any insulin without talking to my PCP about what adjustments I should make. I have put a call in to him and we will see what he says. My main goal with this surgery was to be one of the 95% whose Type II Diabetes is resolved. I think I am seeing real progress already to that end.
I'm not hungry ever, but I do notice some head hunger. I am sure that is natural. I am a little concerned that I don't ever feel the pouch "full" as I think I should. I don't have to take tiny sips, but I don't gulp, either. I guess I will feel more when I start taking in soft foods. Have had some diarrhea - very watery and a beautiful olive green...hmm...
Enough for now. Have a groovy day!
03/08/06
ONE WEEK POST-OP and down 11 lbs. Not too shabby. I was really starting to hurt yesterday, though, and when I went to change the drain bandage, it was green and yucky, so I have a nice infection. I go to the doctor today so hopefully he will still remove the drain and give me an antibiotic and we can clear it up. It really hurts like hell!
Things are still going well. Pretty tired of the liquid diet, but I am not miserable. Got some ideas on how to spice things up a bit from the message board so I think I will try that in my shakes today. Still need to find a way to choke my crushed meds down - they are just awful. I will ask the nurse today if she has any other suggestions than what I have already tried.
Life is pretty boring around here. Terry is gone during the week so Rosie and I curl up and watch TV or hang out at the computer. When I feel better I am going to start some little projects around the house. Walked a little Monday and Tuesday, but still not much. It is pouring down rain today, so if I walk it will be around and around the house!
Gotta get cleaned up for the trip to the doctor. Called Sherry and asked her to take me so I could load up on pain meds and not have to drive. She is a doll.
Later!
03/11/06
I feel like the incredible shrinking woman! I have lost 18 lbs. in the 10 days since surgery. I feel pretty good, although I had my first bout of nausea last night and I think it was due to drinking my protein shake too fast. I am off pain meds (frankly only because I ran out. The first day after was rough because I really hurt, but I toughed it out and I was OK). The one thing I can say though is that I cannot wait to get some real food in my system. I am very sick of sweet stuff. I have the occasional broth but it just isn't working very well anymore and I think I will do much better when I get a little soft food into me. I get to start soft foods on Wednesday which is just a few days away so I can hang in there.
Going to my godson's 2nd BD party today and so I made a chocolate coconute protein shake and froze it to take along so I will be eating my "ice cream", too. Pretty good idea, huh?
Gonna go try to drink some water. So far, so fgood. Later.
03/13/06
Had a pretty quiet weekend. The birthday party was fine, but got really tired and left a little early. We went to the movies on Sunday, saw "16 Blocks" and really liked it. I have never been to a movie in my life without eating popcorn. Was happy to find that the smell made me sick! Was not even tempted!
But the BIG moment was today! I had my first solid BM in 13 days! Whoo-hoo!!!!!!
Later. :-)
03/15/06
I thought it was important to document my first day of FOOD!!!! It has gone really well so far. For breakfast I had 1/2 c. of cream of wheat with S/F brown sugar and it was delicious. It is really hard at this point to tell if I am full, but I was able to finish the whole thing, kind of surprised me. A couple hours later I had about 10 oz. of Isopure for my protein drink. Then for lunch I had a little less than 1/2 c. of refried beans, with just a sprinkle of FF cheddar and a sprinkle of taco sauce. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Again, don't feel full, but am definitely satisfied with that amount. It takes me the full 20 minutes to eat the meal (Nancy said to take no longer than 20 minutes). I bought some baby spoons to be sure my bites are small. All in all this has been a really good experience.
My blood sugars are still doing well, but my PCP cut my insulin back a little more because my sugar was too low in the middle of the night. So they are running a little higher than they were, but still very acceptable and lower than they have been in years. Yippee!!
OK - stats: 2 weeks post-op and I have lost 21 lbs. In 9 more lbs I will be in Onderland and I have not been there since I was in high school. And the best thing is I will be there without feeling terrible because I am doing it by letting my blood sugar run dangerously high. I have never been happier to have done something for myself in my whole life.
Off to support group tonight!
Later! :-)
03/17/06
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
03/18/06
Things are still going pretty well. I had a pretty nast pity party yesterday, though. I am so used to having food to fill my time and I find myself so bored as of late. I know, I know, I have to find new things to fill my time, but it is just not that easy a transition to make. I also want to eat. There. I said it. This nasty habit has not gone away nor is it going to, I fear. I am eating the entire 1/2 c. of food I am allowed and, while I guess I am satisfied, I am not feeling a full feeling yet. Nothing seems to bother my pouch, and I have not had any sick feelings, which is a good thing.
One thing that bothers me is that once I started eating some food, my blood sugars have increased significantly. I was so excited about my needs for less insulin, but it looks like I am going to have to go back to 25 units twice daily and still my reading this morning was 162. I want so much for this surgery to resolve my diabetes as it does for 85% of patients. I guess I just need a little time and patience.
I am losing at what I think is an extraordinary rate - 23 lbs. in 17 days. I can really tell and my clothes are quite loose. I need to get into an exercise routine now that I have some more energy. I did the WAP DVD the other night and could only go 1/2 mile, but I guess that is to be expected after having done no exercise for so long.
My friend Sherry who had WLS called today and said she had two bags of size 16-18 clothes to give me so I am going to pick them up today. I am so excited! I can't wear 16s yet but I will need them by the time I go back to work. I have already lost 26% of the weight to get to goal in only a little over 2 weeks! It is amazing. And I am doing it in a more healthy manner and so my legs aren't weak and I don't feel bad all the time.
Water, Protein, Vitamins, follow the surgeon's food rules. If I do that I can't go wrong.
Later!
03/21/06
Tonight I had my first solid food. I have been on soft foods for a week and tonight began adding meats, seafood, crackers, protein bars, and peanut butter. So dinner was 2 T. of tuna salad (just plain white albacore tuna made with a tiny dab of FF mayo) on 2 slices of whole grain melba toast. Up until now I never had that full feeling in my pouch but I did tonight! I didn't overdo it, I was full but not stuffed, but I actually felt that I was full. I was beginning to think I was never going to sense it because oatmeal and mashed potatoes and the protein drinks weren't triggering it for me.
I also bought some FF/SF pudding mix today and added a teaspoon or so to my protein drink this afternoon and it thickened it right up without having to add ice to the blender. It was cheesecake flavor and it was great!
So far I have been able to tolerate most everything, so I know not to even TRY things I shouldn't eat, like sugar or snacky things. I am just three weeks out and didn't lose anything this third week and was mildly disappointed, but everyone here reminded me that I have done really well so far and it is to be expected. It was suggested I get rid of my scales - I am not quite ready for that yet. I am doing really well by weighing only once a week - I used to weigh myself multiple times a DAY before surgery! But I was shocked when I put on a pair of 16W Bill Blass jeans today that a friend handed down to me. I was in 20W prior to surgery. The 16s are a little tight in the waist but comfy everywhere else, so I am pleased.
03/26/06
Today was my sister Linda and her husband Alan's anniversary and they came to St. Louis to visit and we had a great time. It was my first venture to a restaurant as well, and that actually went very smoothly. We went to a Longhorn Steakhouse and I orderered a small cup of potato soup - was only able to eat about 1/4 c. of it but it was delicious. Also had one of Linda's grilled shrimp, and I was satisfied. It worked out great.
Today before they left we celebrated Rosie's 10th birthday (she's my dear shih tzu). My camera wasn't charged, so Linda took photos and is going to email them to me. I am just learning photobucket, so here is a picture of Rosie, and I will post the birthday photos later ( we had party hats and everything!)
I still have not lost another pound, going on 13 days. I just have to have faith that it will happen...
Later!
Febuary 2006
Feb 27, 2006
02/03/06
Still waiting. Put a call in to my nurse coordinator at UHC and left a message asking for an update so hopefully I will know more later on.
I seem to be doing what I swore I wouldn't - enjoying my "last suppers" at all my favorite places. :-) I guess that's not such a bad thing and I don't seem to be putting on any additional weight.
I have sent in a better photo - full length - hopefully it will get posted. For the time being, this is me at Christmas 2005 with my dear Shih Tzu Rosie. Couldn't live without her.
02/04/06
My co-worker Debbie told me today that she has decided to go for it! I am so pleased. Did not have a chance to talk because I was coming in to work and she was leaving, but I look forward to it. Last I talked to her she was very undecided and worried. I am hoping she found the peace she needed to make this decision.
I have found myself so out of sorts these last few days. My co-workers joke with me about it, and I am upfront with them that I am cranky and to leave me alone! (They of course say "what else is new?" I THINK they are joking...) I think Terry feels he is walking on eggshells right now. He is the nicest man I have ever known and I know he supports me. I think it is just that he is going through some of his own things right now - his brother has colon cancer, and Terry is unhappy with his work situation and I think feels stuck. So the fact that he doesn't really understand my frustration isn't really his fault. But when I moan and groan about getting the run-around, I want sympathy, not "that's how those insurance companies operate." When I say I feel ugly and bad, I want him to tell me I'm beautiful, not say "Nonsense." He is very matter of fact and I am not. It is a miracle we have stayed together for as long as we have! Seriously, he is a very good man, and I know he supports whatever decision I make for myself. I just need some hugging right now, not logic.
Goodnight all. I am sure I will feel better tomorrow...
02/06/06
I am now ten days away from the class I need to be in to have the surgery by the end of this month. I get told today by UHC that my psych eval was not enough, and that I need the full psych testing. In addition, that is something that I should have been informed of when I called January 3, but wasn't. So I have wasted an entire month thinking everything is done, we are now down to the wire and once again, UHC has done a "Ooops, we made a mistake." Frankly, I am so sick of this s*%^. How can communication be SO bad between divisions of a company and a client? I don't get it.
02/07/06
There is a God. I don't have the approval paper in my hand, but Mary from United Behavioral Services called me today with some very good news. She said that I DO have to have the psychological testing done, but she will approve me based on my psychologist's report. She does want me to go through the testing to have it in my file and then to have follow-up post-op with my psychologist. She has spoken with the care rep at UHC to give her OK, and Cathy at UHC said she was just waiting for that piece to be able to give approval for the surgery. This has been such a roller-coaster. I know there are people who have a much longer wait, but I look at this as if I have been waiting over two years, since the original insurance snafu. I think I am getting closer...
02/09/06
It is 2:54 AM and I just got home from work, but I needed to stop in and tell you all something very important. Yesterday at 1:58 PM I got THE call from Cathy at UHC telling me I am APPROVED!!!!!!! I burst into tears and then had to go to work. More tomorrow. I am physically and emotionally POOPED!
02/11/06
As I look back on the timeline, I have been one of the very lucky ones. Although I went through the emotional pain of being told I was covered two years ago and then finding out I was misinformed, this time was relatively painless. I go to a day long class next Thursday (2/16) and at that time I will be given my surgery date, which can be as soon as 2/22. Hard to believe I am almost there.
I am kind of numb. Trying not to think too much about it, but going through some preparations nonetheless. Stocking up on some Nectar protein drinks. I don't really like those thick protein shakes, and so I bought Fuzzy Navel, Roadside Lemonaide, and Tealicious. They are all very light and easy to get down. Bought some Biotin for the hair loss I am already going through due to some bad nutrition these last few months. I was taking some "designer" hair loss vitamins from the salon, but these have the same basic ingredients (vitamin B) and are much less expensive. I think they do help.
I am going to pay someone to really deep-clean my house before I go in. It's not too bad, but it will be nice to come home to a house that is in great shape and relax for awhile. My boyfriend does not live with me but stays here on the weekends (he works quite a distance from where I live, so he lives closer to where he works and then just stays here on the weekend.) He is going to spend the time while I am in the hospital out here with my dear dog Rosie so I don't have to farm her out.
We are going out for a nice meal on Valentine's Day, and he told me from here on out we need to go eat wherever I would like for my "last suppers". LOL I don't really feel a need to do that. I do wonder if I need to have my blood sugars under control before surgery, because they aren't right now and I need to get to work pretty quick if I do. Does anyone out there have any experience with a surgeon requiring that before surgery?
I know I don't sound too excited, but I truly am. It's just that it's very late and I am pretty tired, ready to turn in. I work the 3-11 PM shift at the casino, and it takes me a couple of hours to wind down when I get home. I got home tonight and Terry and my pup are both already upstairs in bed asleep so I have some quiet time. I get so much inspiration reading these profiles. I think I will go read a few before I hit the hay. Goodnight everyone! I am almost there!
02/14/06
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I called my boyfriend to wish him Happy Valentine's Day and his response was "Thank you." What the heck?!?!? We aren't celebrating until Thursday night because today was a busy day for both of us, but sheesh, at least he could have said Happy Valentine's Day! I might just mention to him that I got an e-card for Valentine's Day from old high school boyfriend...lol.
The new picture posted was taken 10/14/05 at a family reunion and I think I weighed about 215 at 5'6. I am about 220 now. I am not 100 lbs overweight but have some pretty serious comorbidities which is why I am having this surgery. I have looked at so many profiles (hundreds I am sure), and I see people who weigh upwards of 250 and I think I look just as big if not bigger. In fact I can't believe a lot of these folks weigh as much as they do - they must carry it very well. Is that my head seeing what isn't reality? I wish I knew. I am very top-heavy, my butt and legs have always been smaller (although I have gotten that pad of fat at the top of my thighs in the last 5-6 years or so. I finally had to get swimsuits with those little skirts). Funny, I have been fat all my life, so I have never had any problem going to the pool every summer and laying this big old body out for anybody to see. I figure if it disgusts anyone, they don't need to look. I always wore a suit that was modest, but I like to swim and I like the sun, so I figured I needed to enjoy it. This summer I will probably be most self-concious of my arm flab. I think that will be the area that will bother me the most. I can hide the other skin under my clothes. My boyfriend has seen me naked at 260 lbs. so I don't think the skin everywhere else will me so much of a problem (at least I hope). But my arms will be out there. Thank goodness 3/4 length sleeves are in style! lol. I don't scar well, so I don't think I will go for PS on them. My sister had WLS and had PS done on EVERYTHING (at age 65, and took out a mortgage on her house to do it - you go, girl!) But the scars on the arm go from pit to elbow and I just don't think they look too good. So, who knows.
Bought a couple of little appliances on Overstock.com that I think will be helpful. One is a snow cone maker to make shaved ice. I love eating ice and I think that will help me get the water down, at least at first. I can also freeze my Nectar protein drink and make a snowcone out of that. I also bought a juice blender - a little thing but works great. Really works the powder out of the protein drinks! Much smaller than a blender, blend and drink out of the same cup. I think I might take it to work or even order a second one to have one here and one at work. I think it was $19.99 with free shipping.
Went out to lunch to say goodbye to my friend Margaret who I taught with and who has been my neighbor for 16 years. She retired and bought a house in a town about an hour and a half away and is moving at the end of the week. We had a good visit and I plan to visit her while I am off work recuping from surgery.
Enough for now. Have a Happy Valentine's Day, and, if you don't have a Valentine, love yourself - you are your most important person!
02/16/06
I HAVE A DATE!!!!! My new life will begin on my brother's birthday, March 1. I will add more tonight after I take a nap! ZZZZZZZZZZZ
02/17/06
The day at Dr. de la Torre's office was not painful at all. There were some really neat people in the class and we actually had a lot of fun. Went through the whole nine yards - nutrition lecture, exercise talk, explanation of what will happen, the surgeon tried to scare us out of it - actually gave us all the risks involved, had some tests done, and then was given the surgery date - March 1. I cannot believe it is really happening! Two weeks. Two weeks. I will be having the surgery the same day as a neat lady I met - Tara S. - by the way, Tara, I can't find your profile.... My surgery is at 12:30 - first time I haven't had to be up at the crack of dawn for a surgery, but I will be his fourth one that day -- ooops - hope he isn't too worn out! LOL
Came out of the office and my car was destroyed by a hailstorm. At least my car is old. I felt really bad for the gal in my class who had I think a corvette...
Have to go to work. Having the house cleaned today. My celebration gift to myself! Have a great weekend everyone. Going to start shopping for the things on my post-op shopping list this weekend!
02/18/06
Happy Birthday to my dear sister Nancy! She is 60 today - isn't that the new 50? She is a wonderful woman who has done much to keep our family going when we have most needed it. I love her very much.
I read a post tonight, and I thought it was well worth sharing:
"There's noooooooooooooo crying in baseball.....!!!!!!"
That's the sentiment (scenario) that comes to mind sometimes when I hear some of the comments from people who've already had the surgery. In case you haven't made the connection, that's a line Tom Hanks made famous in the movie "A League Of Their Own." Resorting to tears or just giving up every time the going gets tough is NOT going to make you successful or keep you healthy. I see so much whining sometimes that it's hard to decipher the kids from the adults.
ENOUGH already, it's time to get "TOUGH" on YOURSELF!!!
First and foremost, you have to keep it POSITIVE. As with everything in life, if you think you can't - you WON'T! Simple enough?
I have to wonder when "we" (as adults) finally take ownership for our actions, our life and our health? We have been given a gift, a second chance to actually LIVE life again instead of merely existing in it. It's up to each of us to do that as healthy and productively as possible.
We're ALL statistics waiting to happen and the insurance companies are chomping at the bit. The bean counters are eager to drop Weight Loss Surgery ("WLS") from the policies; some already have. Don't you know that any negative feedback thrown into the mix only strengthens their cause? I may not be able to control every thing that happens to my body after WLS, but most things I can. I CHOOSE to take control and I will be a positive statistic when the numbers get counted.
We live in a spoiled society, expecting everything in life to come with a buncha really cool choices. Well, guess what? When it comes to your health, you're not always going to get a choice. You either DO IT and stay healthy, or you DON'T and your body pays the price.
The way I saw it, I had a 90 day healing and adjusting period after surgery. My 'super morbidly obese' body had more then enough stores to survive the learning curve. In turn, it gave me plenty of time to heal, adjust and learn. For those of you OVER 90 days Post-Op, the probation period is over - its time to get serious and LIVE what you've learned.
~*~ You say you can't get in enough liquids through out the day, don't like the taste of water, or just keep forgetting? -- TOUGH! It's not an option anymore. Find a way to do it, get suggestions and tips from others in support groups, message boards, etc. Read, learn and then JUST DO IT!! Why do you think there is a choice here?
~*~ You say you don't like the big horse pill type vitamins, or the tart chalky chewables? ...it's, just too many to bother with? Or maybe you just can't remember to take them? ...it's just too many to bother with? -- TOUGH! You gave up the option NOT to take vitamins when you agreed to have your insides rerouted. FIND a way to get them in; crushed, minced, chopped, liquified, in a shake, etc. No exceptions, your health depends on it.
~*~ Protein is a must. So you can't get it all in via foods and you don't like the way the shakes taste? -- TOUGH! Either get it through your meals (and there are a gazillion food choices out there) or supplement it with protein shakes and bars.
Trust me, I don't drink my protein shake every morning because I think it tastes like a chocolate blizzard from Dairy Queen. Ive tried many varieties over the last 2 years. I'd even venture to say 25 of the top sellers/flavors have crossed my lips. For the record? I've yet to find one that is as 'delicious' as boasted by the distributor. So what!!!! I still drink one every morning. My HEALTH dictates that I need "X" grams of protein per day. If I'm not getting enough from my meals then I supplement a shake. 'Nuff said!!!
I've actually walked the walk and reached my goal. Yep, I've stumbled a few times with my food choices and you know what? I'll trip a few more times. BUT, some things I will never fail at -- Vitamins, H20 and Protein. This surgery is a gift, I owe it to me and everyone else fighting the approval process, to do it right! I will continue to choke down my vitamins, my water and my protein every single day, for the REST OF MY LIFE. Some days will be easier then others, regardless, no days will be missed.
It's all about discipline. Create a routine, set a timer, develop a pattern, tie a string around your finger, glue a note to your forehead, whatever it takes.
You're an adult - take responsibility! If this surgery doesn't slap a back bone into you, not much will.
02/20/06
Well, I was trying to think if there was any food that I would specifically miss or wanted to eat before the surgery, and I came up with what I thought was good idea. We went to one of my favorite buffet places. I usually don't do well at buffets because I just can't eat as much at one sitting as I used to. But I took a little bit of everything I knew I might miss - steak, fried chicken, a crab rangoon, potato salad, just little bites of stuff - and then a whole dang piece of coconut cream pie! I washed it down with a nice glass of diet Pepsi! And, ya know, I think it took care of all my little cravings for my "last suppers"! And I am STUFFED!
I had my first "What the hell am I doing?" moment a couple of days ago. I have been so sure of myself and what I am embarking on. And then we were having this little discussion at work on how I am going to have to put my birthday candle in a thimble full of pureed peas this year. It hit me like a Mack truck. I have been a little unsettled ever since. I AM sure that this is the right thing, and I AM sure that it is what I want and need. But the enormity of it hit me smack dab in the face.
I CAN do this and I WILL be doing this in nine days. I can't wait to get to the "other side".
02/21/06
One of the wonderful ladies that was in my class last week died Sunday night in her sleep from asthma. She was one of four of us that really bonded and had so much fun all day. She was so close to having her life changed. Patsy from the office called today to tell me. She said that all her tests came back great and she was in fine shape for surgery. I am just stunned.
02/25/06
Just a few more days until surgery. I have got a terrible head and chest cold and I hope it gets better by Wednesday. I finally called the doctor to get an antibiotic because I am afraid it is turning into an upper respiratory infection and I want to beat it to the punch. Kathy at Dr.'s office said I should still be OK for surgery, but I can't imagine coughing my head off after surgery with the pain in my abdomen! I begin taking the blood thinner shots tomorrow. It is all kind of surreal, still. Terry has been acting kind of strange for a couple of weeks - distant and sometimes annoyed. He did get Wednesday off so we are all set. I take Rosie over to my friend's house on Tuesday night where she will stay til I get home. I will spend the next couple of days cleaning up the house, getting the laundry done, and giving the little Princess a bath. I am going to have Terry take a couple of before pictures tomorrow night and then take all my measurements. A patient at Dr. de la Torre's office made up a neat monthly chart that includes a place for weight, measurements and a picture, so I think that will be a good thing to keep up with to watch the progress. Kind of a scrapbooking project, if you will.
I wish I could say I weren't scared, but I am, a little. I think that is quite natural. I have had a number of surgeries, so I am not sure what I am scared of, exactly. Scared of losing my good friend, food. Scared of the pain following surgery. Of throwing up. Of being thin. Of not having any more excuses for not coming out of myself and enjoying life. Of not having health issues to talk about and fall back on. Of having to decide what it is I really want to DO with the rest of my life. Of what will happen to Terry and me. Of what I want to happen with Terry and me. These are the things that go around and around in my head at night when I try to sleep. I know that I want this - have wanted this for more than three years now. I know that it can change my life forever, if I work the tool. But isn't change what we fight against when we get to be 50 years old? (Yep - in a little more than a month!) Does it take more courage than I have to make those changes at this point in my life? I don't think so. If I didn't think I could do this I wouldn't be where I am right now. I wouldn't be embarking on the single most important thing I have done for myself in my entire life. I so wish my mom could be here to see me through this. She would be so happy for me. I am lucky to have a family that is so supportive.
Well, with my cold and all I had better get some rest. I am sure I will ramble on a little more in the next few days. I was thinking of the woman, Gabrelle, who was in my class who passed away before she could have the surgery. I believe in Heaven, and I believe when we go there we are made whole. By a few things she said, I believe she was a woman of faith. I think that Gabrelle is now on the REAL "other side", whole in health and perfect in body. I would want my family to know that, if anything should happen to me during this surgery, I hope to be on that real other side, and I will have achieved my goal without perhaps some pain and frustration that we will go through here on earth achieving that same goal. I think it is nice to think of Gabrelle in that way.
Goodnight, all!
02/28/06
Well, folks, today is the last day of my obese life. Tomorrow I have surgery at 12:30 PM. I am a little nervous, but all in all I am ready to be at the other end of this whole process. I spent the day running errands, taking Rosie to the groomer, getting my own hair cut, and just doing general prep stuff. Luckily I do not have to be at the hospital at the crack of dawn so I intend to get some good sleep.
My cold is still bothering me, mostly the cough. Will finish the antibiotics in the morning. I hope I don't have much coughing afterwards because I can only imagine that will HURT!
Bit the bullet and bought a Magic Bullet today from eBay for my protein shakes and for making oh so many delicious pureed foods.
:-) It actually looks like it might be kind of fun. Got a good deal, I think, and I think I will really use it.
I may write more tonight before I try to sleep but I have to go pick up my dear pooch from the groomer.
Later!
Later tonight...
I don't have much to add tonight. The phone has been ringing off the hook with friends and family wishing me the best. I am lucky to have so many friends and such a wonderful family. Another patient from Dr. de la Torre's office, Dina, sent me a wonderful e-card, and it really helped. Thanks, Dina!
Took Rosie to Sherry's and she was so pitiful. She senses so much going on in all the preparations and she didn't want me to leave her sight. Sherry called and said Rosie was actually crying some when they went to bed, which she never does. She has gotten me through so many things these last few years. As I have said, I know my mom looked down on me, knew I needed Rosie, and led me right to her. I even named her after my mom, whose name was Rosemary. There was a period of time when I was so depressed I know I never would've gotten out of bed in the morning if I hadn't had to care for her. She saved my sanity. Too bad she can't be there with me during the surgery - lying next to me like she does in bed, protecting me with all of her 10 lbs.!
Next time you hear from me, it will be from the other side. The journey has finally ended...and begun.
Goodnight, with love and gratitude for the wonderful folks on this site who have given me so much hope and inspiration.
Still waiting. Put a call in to my nurse coordinator at UHC and left a message asking for an update so hopefully I will know more later on.
I seem to be doing what I swore I wouldn't - enjoying my "last suppers" at all my favorite places. :-) I guess that's not such a bad thing and I don't seem to be putting on any additional weight.
I have sent in a better photo - full length - hopefully it will get posted. For the time being, this is me at Christmas 2005 with my dear Shih Tzu Rosie. Couldn't live without her.
02/04/06
My co-worker Debbie told me today that she has decided to go for it! I am so pleased. Did not have a chance to talk because I was coming in to work and she was leaving, but I look forward to it. Last I talked to her she was very undecided and worried. I am hoping she found the peace she needed to make this decision.
I have found myself so out of sorts these last few days. My co-workers joke with me about it, and I am upfront with them that I am cranky and to leave me alone! (They of course say "what else is new?" I THINK they are joking...) I think Terry feels he is walking on eggshells right now. He is the nicest man I have ever known and I know he supports me. I think it is just that he is going through some of his own things right now - his brother has colon cancer, and Terry is unhappy with his work situation and I think feels stuck. So the fact that he doesn't really understand my frustration isn't really his fault. But when I moan and groan about getting the run-around, I want sympathy, not "that's how those insurance companies operate." When I say I feel ugly and bad, I want him to tell me I'm beautiful, not say "Nonsense." He is very matter of fact and I am not. It is a miracle we have stayed together for as long as we have! Seriously, he is a very good man, and I know he supports whatever decision I make for myself. I just need some hugging right now, not logic.
Goodnight all. I am sure I will feel better tomorrow...
02/06/06
I am now ten days away from the class I need to be in to have the surgery by the end of this month. I get told today by UHC that my psych eval was not enough, and that I need the full psych testing. In addition, that is something that I should have been informed of when I called January 3, but wasn't. So I have wasted an entire month thinking everything is done, we are now down to the wire and once again, UHC has done a "Ooops, we made a mistake." Frankly, I am so sick of this s*%^. How can communication be SO bad between divisions of a company and a client? I don't get it.
02/07/06
There is a God. I don't have the approval paper in my hand, but Mary from United Behavioral Services called me today with some very good news. She said that I DO have to have the psychological testing done, but she will approve me based on my psychologist's report. She does want me to go through the testing to have it in my file and then to have follow-up post-op with my psychologist. She has spoken with the care rep at UHC to give her OK, and Cathy at UHC said she was just waiting for that piece to be able to give approval for the surgery. This has been such a roller-coaster. I know there are people who have a much longer wait, but I look at this as if I have been waiting over two years, since the original insurance snafu. I think I am getting closer...
02/09/06
It is 2:54 AM and I just got home from work, but I needed to stop in and tell you all something very important. Yesterday at 1:58 PM I got THE call from Cathy at UHC telling me I am APPROVED!!!!!!! I burst into tears and then had to go to work. More tomorrow. I am physically and emotionally POOPED!
02/11/06
As I look back on the timeline, I have been one of the very lucky ones. Although I went through the emotional pain of being told I was covered two years ago and then finding out I was misinformed, this time was relatively painless. I go to a day long class next Thursday (2/16) and at that time I will be given my surgery date, which can be as soon as 2/22. Hard to believe I am almost there.
I am kind of numb. Trying not to think too much about it, but going through some preparations nonetheless. Stocking up on some Nectar protein drinks. I don't really like those thick protein shakes, and so I bought Fuzzy Navel, Roadside Lemonaide, and Tealicious. They are all very light and easy to get down. Bought some Biotin for the hair loss I am already going through due to some bad nutrition these last few months. I was taking some "designer" hair loss vitamins from the salon, but these have the same basic ingredients (vitamin B) and are much less expensive. I think they do help.
I am going to pay someone to really deep-clean my house before I go in. It's not too bad, but it will be nice to come home to a house that is in great shape and relax for awhile. My boyfriend does not live with me but stays here on the weekends (he works quite a distance from where I live, so he lives closer to where he works and then just stays here on the weekend.) He is going to spend the time while I am in the hospital out here with my dear dog Rosie so I don't have to farm her out.
We are going out for a nice meal on Valentine's Day, and he told me from here on out we need to go eat wherever I would like for my "last suppers". LOL I don't really feel a need to do that. I do wonder if I need to have my blood sugars under control before surgery, because they aren't right now and I need to get to work pretty quick if I do. Does anyone out there have any experience with a surgeon requiring that before surgery?
I know I don't sound too excited, but I truly am. It's just that it's very late and I am pretty tired, ready to turn in. I work the 3-11 PM shift at the casino, and it takes me a couple of hours to wind down when I get home. I got home tonight and Terry and my pup are both already upstairs in bed asleep so I have some quiet time. I get so much inspiration reading these profiles. I think I will go read a few before I hit the hay. Goodnight everyone! I am almost there!
02/14/06
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I called my boyfriend to wish him Happy Valentine's Day and his response was "Thank you." What the heck?!?!? We aren't celebrating until Thursday night because today was a busy day for both of us, but sheesh, at least he could have said Happy Valentine's Day! I might just mention to him that I got an e-card for Valentine's Day from old high school boyfriend...lol.
The new picture posted was taken 10/14/05 at a family reunion and I think I weighed about 215 at 5'6. I am about 220 now. I am not 100 lbs overweight but have some pretty serious comorbidities which is why I am having this surgery. I have looked at so many profiles (hundreds I am sure), and I see people who weigh upwards of 250 and I think I look just as big if not bigger. In fact I can't believe a lot of these folks weigh as much as they do - they must carry it very well. Is that my head seeing what isn't reality? I wish I knew. I am very top-heavy, my butt and legs have always been smaller (although I have gotten that pad of fat at the top of my thighs in the last 5-6 years or so. I finally had to get swimsuits with those little skirts). Funny, I have been fat all my life, so I have never had any problem going to the pool every summer and laying this big old body out for anybody to see. I figure if it disgusts anyone, they don't need to look. I always wore a suit that was modest, but I like to swim and I like the sun, so I figured I needed to enjoy it. This summer I will probably be most self-concious of my arm flab. I think that will be the area that will bother me the most. I can hide the other skin under my clothes. My boyfriend has seen me naked at 260 lbs. so I don't think the skin everywhere else will me so much of a problem (at least I hope). But my arms will be out there. Thank goodness 3/4 length sleeves are in style! lol. I don't scar well, so I don't think I will go for PS on them. My sister had WLS and had PS done on EVERYTHING (at age 65, and took out a mortgage on her house to do it - you go, girl!) But the scars on the arm go from pit to elbow and I just don't think they look too good. So, who knows.
Bought a couple of little appliances on Overstock.com that I think will be helpful. One is a snow cone maker to make shaved ice. I love eating ice and I think that will help me get the water down, at least at first. I can also freeze my Nectar protein drink and make a snowcone out of that. I also bought a juice blender - a little thing but works great. Really works the powder out of the protein drinks! Much smaller than a blender, blend and drink out of the same cup. I think I might take it to work or even order a second one to have one here and one at work. I think it was $19.99 with free shipping.
Went out to lunch to say goodbye to my friend Margaret who I taught with and who has been my neighbor for 16 years. She retired and bought a house in a town about an hour and a half away and is moving at the end of the week. We had a good visit and I plan to visit her while I am off work recuping from surgery.
Enough for now. Have a Happy Valentine's Day, and, if you don't have a Valentine, love yourself - you are your most important person!
02/16/06
I HAVE A DATE!!!!! My new life will begin on my brother's birthday, March 1. I will add more tonight after I take a nap! ZZZZZZZZZZZ
02/17/06
The day at Dr. de la Torre's office was not painful at all. There were some really neat people in the class and we actually had a lot of fun. Went through the whole nine yards - nutrition lecture, exercise talk, explanation of what will happen, the surgeon tried to scare us out of it - actually gave us all the risks involved, had some tests done, and then was given the surgery date - March 1. I cannot believe it is really happening! Two weeks. Two weeks. I will be having the surgery the same day as a neat lady I met - Tara S. - by the way, Tara, I can't find your profile.... My surgery is at 12:30 - first time I haven't had to be up at the crack of dawn for a surgery, but I will be his fourth one that day -- ooops - hope he isn't too worn out! LOL
Came out of the office and my car was destroyed by a hailstorm. At least my car is old. I felt really bad for the gal in my class who had I think a corvette...
Have to go to work. Having the house cleaned today. My celebration gift to myself! Have a great weekend everyone. Going to start shopping for the things on my post-op shopping list this weekend!
02/18/06
Happy Birthday to my dear sister Nancy! She is 60 today - isn't that the new 50? She is a wonderful woman who has done much to keep our family going when we have most needed it. I love her very much.
I read a post tonight, and I thought it was well worth sharing:
"There's noooooooooooooo crying in baseball.....!!!!!!"
That's the sentiment (scenario) that comes to mind sometimes when I hear some of the comments from people who've already had the surgery. In case you haven't made the connection, that's a line Tom Hanks made famous in the movie "A League Of Their Own." Resorting to tears or just giving up every time the going gets tough is NOT going to make you successful or keep you healthy. I see so much whining sometimes that it's hard to decipher the kids from the adults.
ENOUGH already, it's time to get "TOUGH" on YOURSELF!!!
First and foremost, you have to keep it POSITIVE. As with everything in life, if you think you can't - you WON'T! Simple enough?
I have to wonder when "we" (as adults) finally take ownership for our actions, our life and our health? We have been given a gift, a second chance to actually LIVE life again instead of merely existing in it. It's up to each of us to do that as healthy and productively as possible.
We're ALL statistics waiting to happen and the insurance companies are chomping at the bit. The bean counters are eager to drop Weight Loss Surgery ("WLS") from the policies; some already have. Don't you know that any negative feedback thrown into the mix only strengthens their cause? I may not be able to control every thing that happens to my body after WLS, but most things I can. I CHOOSE to take control and I will be a positive statistic when the numbers get counted.
We live in a spoiled society, expecting everything in life to come with a buncha really cool choices. Well, guess what? When it comes to your health, you're not always going to get a choice. You either DO IT and stay healthy, or you DON'T and your body pays the price.
The way I saw it, I had a 90 day healing and adjusting period after surgery. My 'super morbidly obese' body had more then enough stores to survive the learning curve. In turn, it gave me plenty of time to heal, adjust and learn. For those of you OVER 90 days Post-Op, the probation period is over - its time to get serious and LIVE what you've learned.
~*~ You say you can't get in enough liquids through out the day, don't like the taste of water, or just keep forgetting? -- TOUGH! It's not an option anymore. Find a way to do it, get suggestions and tips from others in support groups, message boards, etc. Read, learn and then JUST DO IT!! Why do you think there is a choice here?
~*~ You say you don't like the big horse pill type vitamins, or the tart chalky chewables? ...it's, just too many to bother with? Or maybe you just can't remember to take them? ...it's just too many to bother with? -- TOUGH! You gave up the option NOT to take vitamins when you agreed to have your insides rerouted. FIND a way to get them in; crushed, minced, chopped, liquified, in a shake, etc. No exceptions, your health depends on it.
~*~ Protein is a must. So you can't get it all in via foods and you don't like the way the shakes taste? -- TOUGH! Either get it through your meals (and there are a gazillion food choices out there) or supplement it with protein shakes and bars.
Trust me, I don't drink my protein shake every morning because I think it tastes like a chocolate blizzard from Dairy Queen. Ive tried many varieties over the last 2 years. I'd even venture to say 25 of the top sellers/flavors have crossed my lips. For the record? I've yet to find one that is as 'delicious' as boasted by the distributor. So what!!!! I still drink one every morning. My HEALTH dictates that I need "X" grams of protein per day. If I'm not getting enough from my meals then I supplement a shake. 'Nuff said!!!
I've actually walked the walk and reached my goal. Yep, I've stumbled a few times with my food choices and you know what? I'll trip a few more times. BUT, some things I will never fail at -- Vitamins, H20 and Protein. This surgery is a gift, I owe it to me and everyone else fighting the approval process, to do it right! I will continue to choke down my vitamins, my water and my protein every single day, for the REST OF MY LIFE. Some days will be easier then others, regardless, no days will be missed.
It's all about discipline. Create a routine, set a timer, develop a pattern, tie a string around your finger, glue a note to your forehead, whatever it takes.
You're an adult - take responsibility! If this surgery doesn't slap a back bone into you, not much will.
02/20/06
Well, I was trying to think if there was any food that I would specifically miss or wanted to eat before the surgery, and I came up with what I thought was good idea. We went to one of my favorite buffet places. I usually don't do well at buffets because I just can't eat as much at one sitting as I used to. But I took a little bit of everything I knew I might miss - steak, fried chicken, a crab rangoon, potato salad, just little bites of stuff - and then a whole dang piece of coconut cream pie! I washed it down with a nice glass of diet Pepsi! And, ya know, I think it took care of all my little cravings for my "last suppers"! And I am STUFFED!
I had my first "What the hell am I doing?" moment a couple of days ago. I have been so sure of myself and what I am embarking on. And then we were having this little discussion at work on how I am going to have to put my birthday candle in a thimble full of pureed peas this year. It hit me like a Mack truck. I have been a little unsettled ever since. I AM sure that this is the right thing, and I AM sure that it is what I want and need. But the enormity of it hit me smack dab in the face.
I CAN do this and I WILL be doing this in nine days. I can't wait to get to the "other side".
02/21/06
One of the wonderful ladies that was in my class last week died Sunday night in her sleep from asthma. She was one of four of us that really bonded and had so much fun all day. She was so close to having her life changed. Patsy from the office called today to tell me. She said that all her tests came back great and she was in fine shape for surgery. I am just stunned.
02/25/06
Just a few more days until surgery. I have got a terrible head and chest cold and I hope it gets better by Wednesday. I finally called the doctor to get an antibiotic because I am afraid it is turning into an upper respiratory infection and I want to beat it to the punch. Kathy at Dr.'s office said I should still be OK for surgery, but I can't imagine coughing my head off after surgery with the pain in my abdomen! I begin taking the blood thinner shots tomorrow. It is all kind of surreal, still. Terry has been acting kind of strange for a couple of weeks - distant and sometimes annoyed. He did get Wednesday off so we are all set. I take Rosie over to my friend's house on Tuesday night where she will stay til I get home. I will spend the next couple of days cleaning up the house, getting the laundry done, and giving the little Princess a bath. I am going to have Terry take a couple of before pictures tomorrow night and then take all my measurements. A patient at Dr. de la Torre's office made up a neat monthly chart that includes a place for weight, measurements and a picture, so I think that will be a good thing to keep up with to watch the progress. Kind of a scrapbooking project, if you will.
I wish I could say I weren't scared, but I am, a little. I think that is quite natural. I have had a number of surgeries, so I am not sure what I am scared of, exactly. Scared of losing my good friend, food. Scared of the pain following surgery. Of throwing up. Of being thin. Of not having any more excuses for not coming out of myself and enjoying life. Of not having health issues to talk about and fall back on. Of having to decide what it is I really want to DO with the rest of my life. Of what will happen to Terry and me. Of what I want to happen with Terry and me. These are the things that go around and around in my head at night when I try to sleep. I know that I want this - have wanted this for more than three years now. I know that it can change my life forever, if I work the tool. But isn't change what we fight against when we get to be 50 years old? (Yep - in a little more than a month!) Does it take more courage than I have to make those changes at this point in my life? I don't think so. If I didn't think I could do this I wouldn't be where I am right now. I wouldn't be embarking on the single most important thing I have done for myself in my entire life. I so wish my mom could be here to see me through this. She would be so happy for me. I am lucky to have a family that is so supportive.
Well, with my cold and all I had better get some rest. I am sure I will ramble on a little more in the next few days. I was thinking of the woman, Gabrelle, who was in my class who passed away before she could have the surgery. I believe in Heaven, and I believe when we go there we are made whole. By a few things she said, I believe she was a woman of faith. I think that Gabrelle is now on the REAL "other side", whole in health and perfect in body. I would want my family to know that, if anything should happen to me during this surgery, I hope to be on that real other side, and I will have achieved my goal without perhaps some pain and frustration that we will go through here on earth achieving that same goal. I think it is nice to think of Gabrelle in that way.
Goodnight, all!
02/28/06
Well, folks, today is the last day of my obese life. Tomorrow I have surgery at 12:30 PM. I am a little nervous, but all in all I am ready to be at the other end of this whole process. I spent the day running errands, taking Rosie to the groomer, getting my own hair cut, and just doing general prep stuff. Luckily I do not have to be at the hospital at the crack of dawn so I intend to get some good sleep.
My cold is still bothering me, mostly the cough. Will finish the antibiotics in the morning. I hope I don't have much coughing afterwards because I can only imagine that will HURT!
Bit the bullet and bought a Magic Bullet today from eBay for my protein shakes and for making oh so many delicious pureed foods.
:-) It actually looks like it might be kind of fun. Got a good deal, I think, and I think I will really use it.
I may write more tonight before I try to sleep but I have to go pick up my dear pooch from the groomer.
Later!
Later tonight...
I don't have much to add tonight. The phone has been ringing off the hook with friends and family wishing me the best. I am lucky to have so many friends and such a wonderful family. Another patient from Dr. de la Torre's office, Dina, sent me a wonderful e-card, and it really helped. Thanks, Dina!
Took Rosie to Sherry's and she was so pitiful. She senses so much going on in all the preparations and she didn't want me to leave her sight. Sherry called and said Rosie was actually crying some when they went to bed, which she never does. She has gotten me through so many things these last few years. As I have said, I know my mom looked down on me, knew I needed Rosie, and led me right to her. I even named her after my mom, whose name was Rosemary. There was a period of time when I was so depressed I know I never would've gotten out of bed in the morning if I hadn't had to care for her. She saved my sanity. Too bad she can't be there with me during the surgery - lying next to me like she does in bed, protecting me with all of her 10 lbs.!
Next time you hear from me, it will be from the other side. The journey has finally ended...and begun.
Goodnight, with love and gratitude for the wonderful folks on this site who have given me so much hope and inspiration.
January 2006
Jan 30, 2006
1/16/16
Over two years ago, I began this process. I checked with United Health Care to be sure I was covered. They assured me, on several occasions, that I was. Like a good obsessive compulsive, I kept records of everyone I spoke to. I did scores of research, spoke to many people who had the surgery (including my 63 year old sister, who was very successful), and decided I wanted this for my life. At 47 years of age, 5'6" and 245 lbs, I had chronic heart problems, Type II diabetes, was insulin-using, had high blood pressure, and other aches and pains too numerous to mention. I did all the testing to ensure I was healthy enough to undertake the procedure, my PCP was 100% behind my decision, submitted everything to a local surgeon who has one of the best reputations in the country, was accepted, was submitted to insurance. Guess what? Oops! I was given the wrong info. I had never been covered for this procedure from the very beginning. They were very sorry, and they admitted, by their own records, they had given me erroneous information. But too bad, so sad. I was devastated. I went in to a deep depression for over a year and then decided I would pay for it myself by any means necessary. Began saving. At the end of 2005, I walked in to work one day and my coworkers asked if I had seen the new benefits for 2006 yet. I replied that I had not. When I opened the book, I saw that bariatric surgery WAS covered in 2006. I burst into tears. It seems our CEO had the surgery out of his own pocket, and was so overwhelmed at how it had changed his life that he wanted all of his employees to have the same opportunity. So, at a time when most insurance companies and businesses were cutting OUT the insurance, my company added it as a benefit. I do not know how I became so lucky.
It came at just the right time. I spent the last year losing 25 lbs. "Great!" you might say. Not so great. As any insulin-using diabetic knows, when your blood sugar is out of control and you are not taking enough insulin, you can drop weight easily. But you become sicker and sicker, because your blood sugar is high and you feel terrible. That is how I have lived my life for 13 months. I could no longer tolerate weighing 245 lbs. The more under control my blood sugar was, the more weight I gained. I am extremely insulin resistant. So I decided I would rather die than be 245 lbs. Very sick thinking, I know. My surgeon is involved in studies now that show that Type II diabetes is resolved in 95% of the cases of the Roux en Y surgery not just because of the weight loss, but also because of a particular hormone that the bottom of the stomach produces that no longer effects the patient on the other side. In many cases, insulin needs are reduced significantly the day after surgery, so it cannot be due solely to the weight loss. I know everyone is different, but I want the possibility of that for my life. I also have significantly decreased heart function and there has been shown, nation-wide, to be up to 95% improvement in heart function as well.
Needless to say, I am ready. I have once again gone through all the steps necessary, and my paper work has been submitted to UHC. My surgeon has accepted me without reservation and, despite the fact that my BMI is now around 36, I believe that my co-morbidities will speak for me.
Please pray. This site has been a God-send for me for months, reading your stories, and living with you through your trials and your joys. I want to be here with you. You are the strongest people I have ever met.
1/20/06
Checked today with Patsy at my surgeon's office to see if there was any news and she said none yet. I think the waiting is the hardest of all.
4 of the seven people on my shift are joining a weight challenge at work that will run concurrently with the time right around my surgery and immediately post op. Not all of them really understand this process and I think they feel I am taking the easy way out. They don't have a clue. One woman had a tumor in her stomach a few years ago and had to have half of her stomach removed. She is one of these people who knows everything about everything, so of course my situation is going to be EXACTLY like hers and she knows EVERYTHING I will be going through. I finally had to bring the diagram of the stomach in to show her how different mine is going to actually be. That my stomach will be the size of an egg. That out situations were totally different. That she knows NOTHING of what I will be going through, especially since she is and has always been thin and has little or no patience for anyone who is not thin. She is actually on the weight challenge team so she can buff up for summer. I am having this surgery so I can live a few years longer (hopefully MANY years longer). But it does no good to try to explain it to people like this because I feel they will never get it. I can only prove my purpose and dedication by my strength and results.
Very tired tonight and trying not to let all the thoughts of what it will possibly feel like to be thin overwhelm me.
1/24/06
My Psych evaluation was faxed to the surgeon's office today, and that is the last piece before Nancy sends the letter of determination to UHC. I have heard that UHC can be speedy with their approval, and I only hope that is the case here. After I am approved (only positive thinking allowed), I have to attend a day-long seminar where I meet with the surgeon, a nutritionist, and an exercise specialist. On that day I will get my surgery date. I am hoping for early March.
1/27/06
I think just waiting is the hardest after all this time of pushing to get everything done. Nancy (the nurse at Dr. de la Torre's office) says UHC sometimes takes 4-6 weeks to approve for surgery. I have read many profiles where people get approved after several days or a week, but you never know. I think the Dr.'s office gives the longest scenario so you aren't disappointed if it doesn't come through immediately. I think I might start calling UHC next week, though. Sometimes a little persistance pushes things along. In the meantime, I seem to be gaining a little weight now that I am trying to get my blood sugar more in check prior to surgery. That is the vicious cycle I live. If I work to take the propery amount of insulin and eat better, I gain weight. If I take less insulin and eat crap, the lbs. fall off. Of course I also feel terrible and am doing harm to my body at the same time. I can't wait to be on the other side.
01/29/06
Patsy from Dr. de la Torre's office was at the Health Fair at my workplace on Friday. She gave me some information that was very positive. She said UHC rarely takes the 4-6 weeks for approval and that it is possible to have it in a week to 10 days. She gave me the timeline for how things work at their office and, if insurance approval would come in within that time, I could be having my surgery as soon as the last week of February. That is such encoouraging news for me. I am saying my prayers and keeping every finger crossed.
01/31/06
Well, I re-learned today that, when dealing with insurance, things cannot go without a hitch. I came home to a message from a woman at UHC. She said she had my letter of pre-determination and my file, but I needed to contact a pre-care number first before having done any of this. So she was going to forward all of it to someone else to look at and I should call the pre-care number to get the process started. The fact of the matter is I DID call the number on January 3 and was told to go ahead with all the pre-testing, etc. Arghhh!!! So I called the pre-care number and found out that they had received all my information an hour before, and that it had been bouncing around UHC for about a week. Imagine that. I spoke to the actual person who is handling my case and she said she would do everything she could to expedite it. She did say she had to call the division that handles the psych evals and see if they had everything they need? Don't really know what they need other than the eval. I went to a UHC network psychologist who was listed as performing bariatric psych evals, so I hope there is no glitch there.
Had lunch with a dear old friend of mine who had surgery with Dr. de la Torre and she is doing very well. She is also very helpful as far as giving me as much helpful info as she can. She told me today she has lost 124 lbs. and wants to lose maybe 10 more. But she says if she doesn't lose another ounce, she is very happy. I am so very happy for her.
Hopefully February will be the last month in my life that I will be so horribly unhappy with my weight and my health. I look so forward to the other side. My thoughts and prayers are with Dina, who is having surgery later this month.
Over two years ago, I began this process. I checked with United Health Care to be sure I was covered. They assured me, on several occasions, that I was. Like a good obsessive compulsive, I kept records of everyone I spoke to. I did scores of research, spoke to many people who had the surgery (including my 63 year old sister, who was very successful), and decided I wanted this for my life. At 47 years of age, 5'6" and 245 lbs, I had chronic heart problems, Type II diabetes, was insulin-using, had high blood pressure, and other aches and pains too numerous to mention. I did all the testing to ensure I was healthy enough to undertake the procedure, my PCP was 100% behind my decision, submitted everything to a local surgeon who has one of the best reputations in the country, was accepted, was submitted to insurance. Guess what? Oops! I was given the wrong info. I had never been covered for this procedure from the very beginning. They were very sorry, and they admitted, by their own records, they had given me erroneous information. But too bad, so sad. I was devastated. I went in to a deep depression for over a year and then decided I would pay for it myself by any means necessary. Began saving. At the end of 2005, I walked in to work one day and my coworkers asked if I had seen the new benefits for 2006 yet. I replied that I had not. When I opened the book, I saw that bariatric surgery WAS covered in 2006. I burst into tears. It seems our CEO had the surgery out of his own pocket, and was so overwhelmed at how it had changed his life that he wanted all of his employees to have the same opportunity. So, at a time when most insurance companies and businesses were cutting OUT the insurance, my company added it as a benefit. I do not know how I became so lucky.
It came at just the right time. I spent the last year losing 25 lbs. "Great!" you might say. Not so great. As any insulin-using diabetic knows, when your blood sugar is out of control and you are not taking enough insulin, you can drop weight easily. But you become sicker and sicker, because your blood sugar is high and you feel terrible. That is how I have lived my life for 13 months. I could no longer tolerate weighing 245 lbs. The more under control my blood sugar was, the more weight I gained. I am extremely insulin resistant. So I decided I would rather die than be 245 lbs. Very sick thinking, I know. My surgeon is involved in studies now that show that Type II diabetes is resolved in 95% of the cases of the Roux en Y surgery not just because of the weight loss, but also because of a particular hormone that the bottom of the stomach produces that no longer effects the patient on the other side. In many cases, insulin needs are reduced significantly the day after surgery, so it cannot be due solely to the weight loss. I know everyone is different, but I want the possibility of that for my life. I also have significantly decreased heart function and there has been shown, nation-wide, to be up to 95% improvement in heart function as well.
Needless to say, I am ready. I have once again gone through all the steps necessary, and my paper work has been submitted to UHC. My surgeon has accepted me without reservation and, despite the fact that my BMI is now around 36, I believe that my co-morbidities will speak for me.
Please pray. This site has been a God-send for me for months, reading your stories, and living with you through your trials and your joys. I want to be here with you. You are the strongest people I have ever met.
1/20/06
Checked today with Patsy at my surgeon's office to see if there was any news and she said none yet. I think the waiting is the hardest of all.
4 of the seven people on my shift are joining a weight challenge at work that will run concurrently with the time right around my surgery and immediately post op. Not all of them really understand this process and I think they feel I am taking the easy way out. They don't have a clue. One woman had a tumor in her stomach a few years ago and had to have half of her stomach removed. She is one of these people who knows everything about everything, so of course my situation is going to be EXACTLY like hers and she knows EVERYTHING I will be going through. I finally had to bring the diagram of the stomach in to show her how different mine is going to actually be. That my stomach will be the size of an egg. That out situations were totally different. That she knows NOTHING of what I will be going through, especially since she is and has always been thin and has little or no patience for anyone who is not thin. She is actually on the weight challenge team so she can buff up for summer. I am having this surgery so I can live a few years longer (hopefully MANY years longer). But it does no good to try to explain it to people like this because I feel they will never get it. I can only prove my purpose and dedication by my strength and results.
Very tired tonight and trying not to let all the thoughts of what it will possibly feel like to be thin overwhelm me.
1/24/06
My Psych evaluation was faxed to the surgeon's office today, and that is the last piece before Nancy sends the letter of determination to UHC. I have heard that UHC can be speedy with their approval, and I only hope that is the case here. After I am approved (only positive thinking allowed), I have to attend a day-long seminar where I meet with the surgeon, a nutritionist, and an exercise specialist. On that day I will get my surgery date. I am hoping for early March.
1/27/06
I think just waiting is the hardest after all this time of pushing to get everything done. Nancy (the nurse at Dr. de la Torre's office) says UHC sometimes takes 4-6 weeks to approve for surgery. I have read many profiles where people get approved after several days or a week, but you never know. I think the Dr.'s office gives the longest scenario so you aren't disappointed if it doesn't come through immediately. I think I might start calling UHC next week, though. Sometimes a little persistance pushes things along. In the meantime, I seem to be gaining a little weight now that I am trying to get my blood sugar more in check prior to surgery. That is the vicious cycle I live. If I work to take the propery amount of insulin and eat better, I gain weight. If I take less insulin and eat crap, the lbs. fall off. Of course I also feel terrible and am doing harm to my body at the same time. I can't wait to be on the other side.
01/29/06
Patsy from Dr. de la Torre's office was at the Health Fair at my workplace on Friday. She gave me some information that was very positive. She said UHC rarely takes the 4-6 weeks for approval and that it is possible to have it in a week to 10 days. She gave me the timeline for how things work at their office and, if insurance approval would come in within that time, I could be having my surgery as soon as the last week of February. That is such encoouraging news for me. I am saying my prayers and keeping every finger crossed.
01/31/06
Well, I re-learned today that, when dealing with insurance, things cannot go without a hitch. I came home to a message from a woman at UHC. She said she had my letter of pre-determination and my file, but I needed to contact a pre-care number first before having done any of this. So she was going to forward all of it to someone else to look at and I should call the pre-care number to get the process started. The fact of the matter is I DID call the number on January 3 and was told to go ahead with all the pre-testing, etc. Arghhh!!! So I called the pre-care number and found out that they had received all my information an hour before, and that it had been bouncing around UHC for about a week. Imagine that. I spoke to the actual person who is handling my case and she said she would do everything she could to expedite it. She did say she had to call the division that handles the psych evals and see if they had everything they need? Don't really know what they need other than the eval. I went to a UHC network psychologist who was listed as performing bariatric psych evals, so I hope there is no glitch there.
Had lunch with a dear old friend of mine who had surgery with Dr. de la Torre and she is doing very well. She is also very helpful as far as giving me as much helpful info as she can. She told me today she has lost 124 lbs. and wants to lose maybe 10 more. But she says if she doesn't lose another ounce, she is very happy. I am so very happy for her.
Hopefully February will be the last month in my life that I will be so horribly unhappy with my weight and my health. I look so forward to the other side. My thoughts and prayers are with Dina, who is having surgery later this month.
October 3 & 17
October 3, 2006
Well, things are fairly status quo. Work is getting a little bit difficult to deal with - the people, not the job itself. I only have three more months on this shift, and then I will never willingly choose this shift as long as Tony and Kathleen stay on it (yes, I am naming names.) They are the rudest, most negative people I have ever encountered, and it is hard to keep a positive attitude, especially doing graveyard work, while you have two people bad-mouthing everyone and everything. I had put in for a Supervisor position in another department, and things had looked really good, but I found out Friday I did not get the position. I was very disappointed. It is hard to be 50 and try to find something new, but at least I have a new-found confidence about my appearance, and that does help.
I am feeling pretty good, despite some sleep deprivation. It is time for bloodwork, so we will see what the real story is. Have been stuck at about the same weight for two months or so, but I honestly have to admit I haven't been trying very hard. Been doing well this past week, though, and I hope to have the last 12-15 lbs. off by Christmas. It is very weird to only have 12-15 lbs. to lose instead of 80-90. It is a GOOD weird...
Well, it is time to hit the hay before work tonight. Rosie and Terry are groovy. More later!
October 17, 2006
Only have a quick minute, but wanted to post a photo of my brother Neill and me at the family reunion this past weekend. Everyone was floored with the new me and it was a lot of fun. I will post family photos when we get them back. Bye for now!
Well, things are fairly status quo. Work is getting a little bit difficult to deal with - the people, not the job itself. I only have three more months on this shift, and then I will never willingly choose this shift as long as Tony and Kathleen stay on it (yes, I am naming names.) They are the rudest, most negative people I have ever encountered, and it is hard to keep a positive attitude, especially doing graveyard work, while you have two people bad-mouthing everyone and everything. I had put in for a Supervisor position in another department, and things had looked really good, but I found out Friday I did not get the position. I was very disappointed. It is hard to be 50 and try to find something new, but at least I have a new-found confidence about my appearance, and that does help.
I am feeling pretty good, despite some sleep deprivation. It is time for bloodwork, so we will see what the real story is. Have been stuck at about the same weight for two months or so, but I honestly have to admit I haven't been trying very hard. Been doing well this past week, though, and I hope to have the last 12-15 lbs. off by Christmas. It is very weird to only have 12-15 lbs. to lose instead of 80-90. It is a GOOD weird...
Well, it is time to hit the hay before work tonight. Rosie and Terry are groovy. More later!
October 17, 2006
Only have a quick minute, but wanted to post a photo of my brother Neill and me at the family reunion this past weekend. Everyone was floored with the new me and it was a lot of fun. I will post family photos when we get them back. Bye for now!
About Me
St. Louis, MO
Location
26.4
BMI
Surgery
03/01/2006
Surgery Date
Aug 18, 2003
Member Since
