11-22-2009 i'm finally here this time hopefully!

Nov 21, 2009

i have completed all of my tests and have been scheduled for surgery for  dec. 28. i have one last hurdle and that's the liquid  diet. i'm starting mine several weeks earlier than usual becuz i have a lot to lose. i know i can do this i have no choice, unfortunately i'm going to have to cut out some negativity out of my life in order to accomplish  my goal. sometimes people say they're happy for u but their actions prove otherwise. i really can't worry about that right now for the first time in my life i'm going to have to be a little selfish  and focus on myself. i need this in order to live. i'm getting worse physically and mentally speaking. my mom's cancer appears to be returning and i feel like i'm loaded down.  through it all i have got to focus on me for a little bit so i can be around to help the people i love. unfortunately the one that's the closest to me , i'm going to have to let go. he's sabotaging my wt loss and i can't let him do it so it has to be what it has to be.  anyway i would recommend anyone who's going through the same things to just continue and focus and do what u got to do to be healthy and happy no matter what.  i will continue to update my progress

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