wvsable

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I was in dbt class this morning and we were discussing how a alcholic can't stop at just one drink.   Sugar is my downfall.   I have to think as sugar as alchol and advoid it.    It is hard, but I have to do it.

I got back on the exercise bike tonight.   I made a promise to myself and my husband that if I could get a mp3 player and download the music I liked and could listen to without disturbing everyone I would do it.   We went to wallyworld and he found me the rca Pearl mp3 player that holds 300 songs yesterday.    I can't imagine wanting something that would hold more.   I have downloaded like crazy the last couple of days and only have around 85 songs on it.   I am racking my brain trying to think of more songs right now.   I did 10 minutes tonight with that sucker turned up full blast with.   The time flew by.   It equaled out to 1.5 miles.   I am in my own little world with that thing on.    

On a side note that since I have been released from the wound center my feet and legs don't hardly swell as bad.   I felt the bone in my left ankle last night.   It is still bigger than the right, but I felt bone last night that I hadn't felt in years.  

I am finding that I am thinking about everything I won't be able to eat anymore and trying them one last time.   I need to stop that.   I hope that I am intolerant to sugar after the surgery.   That is my downfall.  

I am going to go for now.   I will definately post a blog entry next week about the psych exam.  

Take care everyone.

I guess I am on my way to having the surgery.   The date is set for February 9th.   I don't know what to expect, but I am just going to go and be myself and answer the questions truthfully.  

I want my life back.    I want to do things again.  I want to buy shoes other than tennis shoes.   Most of all I want to be healthy.   I feel that I have a lot of living left to do.   I am to young to be this old.  

I have no idea how I did this, but when I went to the doctor today I have dropped another 5 lbs.   I have no idea how I managed to do this.    I haven't been dieting, I have just been making sure I ate when I was hungry and not out of boredom.    He wants me to start water arobics too.   I am going to look into that after the new year.   I also got a letter from OSU today.   I have to call tomorrow and get a appointment with thier doctor for a psychological exam.    

In another thing, I got thinking.   I'm not doing this surgery for anybody else.    I am doing it for me, because I want too.   I want my life back.   I am doing it my way on my terms.   I am doing it to please me.    

I finally called OSU and got my evaluation appointment.   It is March 4th at 1 pm.   I am so very excited.    I am going to request appointments with my therapist in february as much as possible, to keep me on track mentally.    I tend to get scared and nervous and back out of things.     I have taken another big step in my journey to a new me.    Even my mom is excited for me.     That is so hard for me to beleive.   

Finally after 18 months having the abcess on my leg and 11 months going to the wound center, I got released today.   I have a scar on my leg from the ordeal, but at least I have my leg.   Now I can start devoting my self on my weight loss surgery journey.    I actually get to take a bath tonight.    Sick and tired of showers...    I feel like I have been freed from a prison.    Thank God I'm free at last!!!!

This last monday evening I attended another seminar at OSU.    The presentation wasn't that good, but there seems to be more education to their program than Mt. Carmel's.    I have to get some paper work done and then call and make a appointment for a evaluation.     Then there is a 6 month nutrition counseling I have to attend.    I think that is great.   I am already doing a vitamin regimen myself.   I want to be as healthy as I can be.   Dr. Needleman gave a presentation.   I am really impressed with him.   I know with them my surgury is about a year away, but I can swing that.     But one thing, OSU is so huge.   Not as big as cleveland clinic, but still big.   

I have a orientation meeting at Mt. Carmel West in Columbus.   I have decided to have my surgury there, the good lord willing.   I am so excited.   I know the surgury is not a miracle tool that makes the weight fall off.   I know that there is going to be a lot of will power and work on my part.   I am willing to do that.    I have to do that if I want to live.  I have a acquaintance that I saw this morning that had the rny done three weeks ago.  She is having no pain and she is back at work already.   This has me so stoked.

I did 10 minutes tonight on the bike.   It was easy and I managed to last 5 minutes before I had to stop.    I think it is time to move the time up to 13 minutes.   I even managed to go 1 tenth of a mile farther on the bike.   1.6 miles.    Need to walk some too, but with the rainy weather we have been having I have had to ride the excercise bike.   

I hate the exercise bike with a passion.    My hubby brought it last year for our benefit he said.   I hate it.   It is a heavy duty recumbant bike.   Because it is heavy duty it has a bar you have to cross.   Me being only 5'1".   I can't do it.    Much to my dismay my brother in law made me blocks to stand on when I get on and off and now I have no excuse.    Too keep from getting on it I have been walking.    Last night it was stormy and rainy.    I had to get some exercise so I got on it.   I did 10 minutes, which equaled out too 1.5 miles.   Not bad, but I just don't like the thing...   It is a pain in my butt!!!!!!