zereul007
New Year...New Me!
Jan 03, 2010
Well 2010 is finally here and it's time to start with the resolutions!!!
I'm actually writing today with a bit of an emotional down. I'm thinking it's probably because I've been on holiday vacations for 2 weeks and have behaved rather badly according to my own standards. I've picked at this and that...nibbled here and there...tested my tool and the bad part is that I KNOW I shouldn't have done that. The only good thing about having ventured through this trial has been that my weight has remained consistent at 258. I haven't exercised in the last month like I should have due to many factors, none of which I would consider a valid enough reason or excuse. However, work stress has been at the forefront. And with it getting darker earlier, by the time I get home I feel so bummed out that I just want to take a moment to catch my breath from the day's events.
So starting this new year, I am dedicating myself to making a change in so many things regarding my internal and external self. I have to. I've come too far to just resort back to the "same ol', same ol'". I'm torturing myself over these holidays and memorializing it with today's journal entry will by my final stab at myself.
Now to the obvious...
This year I will work on the following intrinsically geared goals:
* To appreciate myself for having lost close to 100 pounds...it's no small feat!
* To love who I see in the mirror during this amazing transformation
* To see past the old, pre-RNY reflection in the mirror and truly see the "real", new me
* To be a better listener, both with people and with my pouch, named "Wilma"
* To be happy with this life I have chosen for me because I worked so hard to get here!
As for the outside work on me, I will
* Definitely not test my pouch to the limits
* Dedicate myself to exercise more...
* Eat better according to my diet - that means NO CARBS!!
* Follow my regimen of WPEN: Water, Protein, Exercise, No snacking!!
* Work towards my OH Goals...
* Be more confident in my abilities as a professional and be outspoken when needed
* Offer myself openly to new friendships
* ENJOY LIFE!!! Because you only get one shot and before you know it, it's over.
Thank you to my OH friends, because I see your progress and it gives me hope that I can continue on the path towards my personal success. I do understand that we all have moments where we want to feel "normal" again, and so we stray off our path. But I don't ever want to go back to who I was Pre-RNY. Even after losing 85 pounds, I feel a little more normal when I go out on the town. Before I always felt people stared at my weight. I prefer to think of people staring at me NOW because they KNOW how much weight I've lost so far (or because I look good and give off a feel good persona! Haahaa) I don't feel the stares as much as before and it feels good knowing that I may actually be fitting into the "norm". Going from a size 28 to a size 16/18 is a wonderful feeling, I can't lie. I just need my damn mind to get with it and relish in this beautiful metamorphosis!!
I wish all my OH friends and their families a wonderful, peaceful, healthy New Year!!!
This is our year to shine!!!
Lisa
It's Been a While, Friends...
Dec 22, 2009
Well, every year, my sister and I brave the cold and the ruthless crowds of after Thanksgiving shopping and well, we found some amazing deals...for us!!! Haahahaha!!
We always say we will shop for others, but that NEVER happens. Anyway, I found this super awesome, amazing leather jacket and I HAD to try it on. Funny, I went to the largest size and my sister looked at me as if I were NUTS!! She said, "You have got to be kidding...are you crazy?! Go pick out a smaller size!!" True, it was falling off my limbs like melting butter!! I went to the next size and my sister, AGAIN, sent me away. I couldn't believe it!! It was still too big!! Then I reached for a jacket another 2 sizes smaller and took it to my sister, knowing it wouldn't fit, but wanting to poke at my sister's so-called logic (so I thought). But guess what?! It zipped up. Sure it was slightly snug in the upper arms around the back, but my sis said, "Take it! Give it a couple of weeks or a month and it will look amazing!!" And you know what, it didn't take that long!! A couple of weeks later, I was wearing this fantastic leather jacket to work!! And now I can't even leave the house without it!! Dreams do come true, friends!!
Funny, but pictures that my hubby and I take look so different from when I first began this wonderful journey. Honestly, I don't even recognize myself sometimes!! It's true what they say, it takes the mind a while to catch up with what's happening to our bodies...my mind has a hard time registering what I look like now. Funny, how we LONG for the amazing change, and when it starts happening, we can't really see it!! Hahaha!! The best validation I have are from all the comments my friends give me. They are all like the mirror in Snow White's story...not in the sense that I am the fairest of them all (Hahahaa!!) but in the sense that they tell me what they see. It really helps me with my perception of myself!
My weight? Well, I'm down to 258. I'm not relying so much on my protein shakes like before. My doc says that this is good because he wants me to EAT and CHEW my protein :) And I've REALLY been working on this. The holidays have helped because I used to take my shakes with me to work. But since I'm off for two weeks, I'm actually making an egg in the morning, chicken here and there for lunch/dinner. My pouch, also known as "Wilma" is loving it!! When I thought she was in a stall with the shakes, she perked right up with the "real stuff" and away the pounds went!! I love Wilma's take on life!!
Anyway, I just wanted to share what I've been up to lately, even though I'm sure you are all on similar journeys and experiencing similar WOW MOMENTS!! I wish you all the BEST this wonderful tool and journey has to offer!! Peace be with you all as you embark on this wonderful holiday season. And remember, it IS a difficult time for us with all the temptation around us; but someone on this site said it best when they said, "If you happen to fall off the wagon, just know that it's equally as EASY to get back on!!" And you know something, as long as we have eachother to bounce around our hopes and fears, there's no reason we can't succeed.
Peace and love from my family to yours...
Major Milestone!!!
Sep 13, 2009
My Lap RNY has been my miracle. Even though I've only lost 41 pounds, I feel like I'm ready to take on the world...Goal Weight, here I come!! I never thought I'd ever lose weight and feel this good. Thank you God, for everything.
Minus 2 more pounds!!
Aug 30, 2009
A strange day...
Aug 22, 2009
It started out as a beautiful day...cloudy, fresh and cool! We went back inside and laid back down because I could tell I still wasn't ready to be "awake". LOL! I woke up again at 9 and took a shower. My husband went to help my sister; his contractor friend was installing new carpet in her house cuz she is getting ready to go back to school and needs to sell her house. You know, the economy and stuff. Anyway, my sis and my niece came over to hang out (my sis works nights, so she went to bed). But my niece and I went to the "Golden ACHES" not arches!! Haha! My husband asked me to take him something to eat because he had left the house in a hurry..and well you know. There I was at the window of Mickey D's and it was so weird!! I ordered him a combo and my niece got some apple dippers and a large order of fries & I bot an unsweet tea. The smell was familiar and it's the first time I've actually had an "in my face" craving. My niece is 13 and somewhat mature. She tells me, "No, Nina. You don't want these. They aren't as good as they used to be." MEANING WHAT?! I wanted to yell, but didn't. Instead I just giggled.
I dropped my husband's food off at my sis's house and went back home w/my niece. She handed me a straw and as if on auto-pilot, I put it in and took a drink of my tea a few times. Then it dawned on me that I can't use straws!! What they say about the gas is true!! I could feel it in the pit of my stomach after a few minutes. It was like a giant air bubble and it hurt. So I put the tea away and saved it for my hubby.
Well get this...Mickey D's is the devil, I swear!! I think it was my memories of ordering "the usual" and coming home to wolf down my combo or eating in my truck on my way to wherever! But, I looked at my niece's fries, as if stalking her lil' red fry box....and I asked her for a fry. She was not happy with me...can you believe that!! My niece chastising me!! LOL! Anyway, I deserved it because after I picked out a squishy one, I took a bite and chewed it for what I thought was FOREVER. People, let me tell you, you can NEVER chew too long. Initially the taste was not what I thought it was going to be. It was different; not my idea of good. I mean, if I was going to do the sin, it better taste like it came straight from God Almighty's kitchen himself!!! Anyway, it didn't agree with me. It felt like it got stuck in the middle of my chest. After a few minutes it got better. But it just proved to me that it was NOT anything I was missing. Again, I must confess that what people say about the taste buds changing is TRUE!! I swear it is!! I would have chased my niece around the house back in the day just to have a McD's fry. But it tasted so different. And all I could think about was drinking water and having some cottage cheese. Strange. Very strange.
NOTE TO SELF: McD's is not what it used to be...stay away from the FRIES!!!
It gets better. What I have been craving during this time are PICKLES!! Yes, chilled, long, green, sour, dill pickles!! MMMMM!!!! Well that's not gonna happen anytime soon. So later in the day, I took a sip of pickle juice...It tasted FANTASTIC in my mouth and on my tongue!! Simply divine!! Then I swallowed...and guess what?!! I had an ache in my belly for a while. I had some TUMS and again....
NOTE TO SELF: No pickle juice... NOTHING!!! NADA!!! Stop rushing things and wait for the right time. When it happens, it will be worth it, minus the aches and nausea.
All in all, today was a strange day. But you know what, it was ALL my fault. I was having a moment of weakness today and I gave in either because of "habit" or "curiosity". These are the times that make me reflect on the kind of unhappy life I had before and the one I'm hoping to soon have --a more prosperous and healthy lifestyle!!
I leave you my OH family, because my drama today was WAY more than I had expected. I'm sure you are all tired, too. Have a great night!!
Lisa
Minus 2 Pounds!!
Aug 17, 2009
1st Follow up with Doc!!
Aug 13, 2009
Rose is the nurse who says she will see you in the hospital during your pre-op class. And you know what?? She was there and it comforted me. She's also one of my doctor's former patients. And she looks great!! When I saw here today she told me I looked good and we talked about the protein situation. She gave me some good advice and some smiles to go with it!
As I was in the waiting room, I saw one of my friends who had surgery the same day. She looked good, so I thought. But when I asked her how she was holding up, she just let loose! She also had the Lap RNY and told me that she cannot hold anything down...nothing-not water, not protein, not liquids period! She said yogurt seems to be the only soothing thing that helps her cope and actually stays down. She asked me if I was having the same problem, and I had to say no, because, well, that's the truth. I asked her if she was having any other problems and she said, "Lemme tell you." She went on to say that the smell of food that's cooking for her family drives her a lil' insane. She's tempted and wants it. I told her I must be a kind of "boring" patient because when my husband cooks his own meals (which he has done for us even before I had surgery-he's so good to me) yeah, I can smell it and it smells good. But, it's not something I wanna rush to the kitchen to steal off his plate! LOL! The other day he made his famous TACOS and I mean, I LOVE THOSE TACOS!!! But it's funny, I smelled him cooking but I had this strange sensation inside of me, as if I had already had the usual 4, packed with cheese, onions, and homemade salsa!! The same thing with his burritos...I have no interest. Strange, I know. She told me I was lucky...and I guess I am. I don't think I could truly be happy with my surgery if I couldn't hold anything down. I didn't know what to tell her other than I was here for her. She was seeing the doctor before me, and so her name was called to go to the back. At this point I thanked God for all that he did for me during this time.
Back at the ranch...LOL...I mean in the exam room, I met with my bariatric nurse. She actually had the Lap RNY by my doctor some time ago too and also looks FABULOUS!!! A funny thing happened about a week before my surgery...I saw her at a Chinese Buffet Restaurant!! It was freaking hilarious! Here I was supposed to be on my Pre-Op diet and here she is a RNY veteran, and we are BOTH eating chinese food!! Well, needless to say, I was banking on her not saying anything and I wouldn't say anything either today at my appt...and well, she didn't and I didn't!! LOL
She looked at my surgery incisions and said they looked great! We talked a bit. She told me I could add some cottage cheese, a scrambled egg, and a piece of wheat toast (no butter) to my diet. I was ecstatic!! We talked about the protein situation and also went over when our support group was going to meet. She gave me a prescription for the gallstones (just in case) and another for the B12 Nasal Spray so that I could try it out. And that's it! I left there -21 pounds and I was happy! I go back in 3 weeks.
I love my doctor and his staff. They are so good to their patients. This was a long post, I admit it. But I wouldn't have done them any justice by simply making a long story short. They are worth it because they have taken good care of me and so many others. Above all, they don't deny their struggles with thier weight and remind you that they are not superhuman...You can be successful with WLS if you choose to be. I can't wait to be a before and after photo on their wall!!
1 Week Post-Op
Aug 11, 2009
Hi, friends!! Well, today is officially my 1st week post-op and it's been interesting. Last night before I went to bed I decided to weigh myself for fun (I know! I know! Rule of thumb, don't weigh yourself constantly! 
) But this I did for pure fun!! So, anyway, it was around midnight when I stepped on the scale and it said 324. I was like wow!! I was just 326 that morning ( I know! I know! Rule of thumb, blah, blah, blah 
) Anyway, I was so excited to reach my 1 week milestone that I AGAIN weighed myself this morning. And would you believe that crazy scale said 322?!! Now, my husband has his old hard plastic scale in the garage where he does his powerlifting and I said to myself, "Self, take your bootie down to the garage and try that old scale!" So I did! And it said 322!! Does the weightloss happen this fast?! It's so amazing!! It's like Christmas every time I step on the scale!! I feel good, I'm not craving anything, I'm walking more, drinking my water, etc... I mean, please veterans, tell me, is this how this WLS is supposed to work?! I've never lost weight this fast! In fact, I've always failed at diets and stuff?! I've NEVER had this happen. I almost feel like I need to contact the X-Files because this looks so alien like!! LOL! It's so surreal!
NOTE TO SELF: I had a couple of ounces of oatmeal this morning...bad idea!! I guess my pouch isn't ready for this, even though it is listed on my full liquid diet form...I got SOOOO sick, started hiccuping and had a vomiting episode. As soon as I cleared out my pouch I was good though. Had some water and took a nap. Again, avoid OATMEAL, even in its watery state! 
Well, friends, I leave you for now!! Thank you OH family for always being there for me!!
5 Days Post Op
Aug 09, 2009
My shoulder pain is gone, as well as the pain in my upper back! I had to do some painful walking. But it was well worth it to get rid of this pain! I actually had a good nite's sleep on top of that last night!
Today I have some cream of wheat...yum! Water, water, water! I had some creame of chicken soup but something so awful happened almost immediately. I guess I got my first taste of the "dumping syndrome"! I thought I served myself just right in terms of ounces, but I'm not sure what the hell happened! As soon as I was done eating, I felt this awful pain in my mid-section. A pain like my pouch was mega stuffed. I started getting nauseated and sweating! Of course, I didn't vomit; I guess I'm one of the lucky ones. No, instead I made a mad dash to the toilet!!! Uggghhh
Not once, but TWICE!!! It was awful!! I was wondering how soon it would be before I were to experience...I guess I spoke too soon. They say once you go through this you will be more careful next time...well, that's for damn sure!!
Afterwards, I felt so guilty! My poor lil' pouch! What agony I had caused it. Someone in the forum once referred to the pouch as a newborn baby that needed to be nurtured and cared for, as it was our 2nd chance at having a wonderful life. I have to say now that I totally agree. We've gone through all the work of getting to this point of post-op and maintenance, that we need to care for our pouch regardless of the diet stages. A lesson learned the hard way!! But a lesson well learned!
Now, I'm dying to go walking around the block; but I'm so afraid I just dehydrated myself earlier that I may not make it home!! LOL!! I will let it get a lil' cooler here and I'll fill my bottle of water and take my lil' baby poodle, Horace, with me. But I've got to do something after this dumping episode!
Okay, well, I'll stop here!! As for the dreaded scale...not so dreaded anymore...I'm down 13 pounds!!! Yipppeee!!
I'm Finally Home!!!
Aug 06, 2009
Hi, friends!!! Well, I finally made it home today!! I must say the surgery went well, without any complications. My lil' incisions were ok, too. The worst of all of this was the pain in my shoulder and upper back. I've been walking, walking, and walking, but I still can't get it to go away. I'm hoping that with time, it'll soon be gone.
Everyone at my hospital was amazing!!! So friendly and compassionate. I couldn't have been in better hands.
Well, now I'm home drinking water/chips and some protein. It's all pretty good, believe it or not. My husband was making his dinner and even the smell grossed me out. Ijust felt like I needed water. Funny, before I would've jumped on those pork chops!!! LOL. But right now, everything is grossing me out. I'm just glad I was feeling any hunger "pains"!
Well, all, I hope those of you who have had the surgery did fantastic!! To those of you coming up, best of luck!! I am here for you!! And to the many who have already embarked on this journey, please know that you are my inspiration.
Good nite, everyone!! Thanks for always being there!
Lisa
