Question:
Why did I do this surgery?
I want a reversal, I feel. Anyone have negative feelings about their surgery? I am so tired of only seeing positive responses when I know there are negative feelings out there and people just don't seem to want to share them. Help, and be true to your thoughts and feelings. — Anita B. (posted on April 28, 2002)
April 28, 2002
May I ask why you regret having this surgery? I can tell you that earlier
on, I had some misgivings about some things, but now 85lbs lighter and a
whole heck of a lot healthier that I can't imagine my life any other way.
I still eat normal things just in moderationa and much smaller amounts,
Today, I ate some Edy's no sugar added butter pecan icecream. I have things
like that all the time. My life changed for the first couple of months,
but now almost 7 months out, it is hard to fathom that I even had the
surgery. I love my new life. Could I say anything bad about the surgery
itself. Sure but not personally, I have heard of things going wrong, but I
also know that if I had of kept going the way that I was, I may not be
writing this today. Who knows. I only know that you are a new post op
right? Give yourself time to adjust. You will feel better, and as far as
your fluid issue, ( I think that is your profile, I am thinking about) Hey
at 7 months out I still have trouble. I get in a min of 40-48 I would say,
the nutritionit told me not to worry alot because your foods have water in
them. So that is not to bad. I hate wate though so I am strictly sf
koolaid and crystal light, I love the strawberry orange bananna. Good
luck and god bless. Open Rny 10/4/01-85 lbs and counting, BTC Coumbus
Ohio, Dr. Kaczmrski, You go DOC!!!!!!
— TONYA B.
April 28, 2002
I am so sorry that you feel that way---I have been in a battle with the
insurance company since November 2001- I would give anything to be in your
shoes---maybe you need to talk to a professional about your feelings--
— Linda L.
April 28, 2002
Everyone has good and bad days in the first months after surgery. I am 4.5
months out and I still have days where I do not feel good. Stop looking
for surgical answers. Stop thinking in terms of reversing what's been
done. You are only 4 weeks out! Give yourself a chance! Think in terms of
"I have to heal from my surgery and get used to my new life". It
takes weeks and weeks to totally heal from your surgery. It takes months
for you to get used to your new lifestyle. Your mind has to catch up with
the changes to your body! Don't be hard on yourself or your surgery. Stop
finding fault with yourself and the decision you made. I know these
negative thinking patterns are part of being obese, we talk quite bad to
ourselves! Stop it! You are no longer your old self! Talk good to
yourself! When you feel bad, put on some really baggy clothes and see the
progress you've made. When you feel sick, say to yourself "as time
goes on, I'll have fewer and fewer times like this" If you throw up,
figure out what it is you ate and put it down to something you can't
tolerate! Find some food items you can tolerate and stick to them! It's
trial and error. Nothing is a quick fix! Talk good to yourself and be
happy with the huge success you are having! You've lost more weight in the
1 month after your surgery than I did in 2 months!
— blank first name B.
April 28, 2002
i would not trade it for the world. ... what have you gone through to feel
this way? down 181lbs went from size 26 to size 6-8 in one year happy as
can be.
— Patricia C.
April 28, 2002
With all due respect to the person asking the question - this is exactly
the reason that I strongly, strongly, strongly urge people to journal their
path prior to surgery. To make sure that you ask yourself WHY you want the
surgery and outweigh the good & the bad. It's not a small decision and
it's one that can affect your life for the rest of your life. I was
saddened as I read this posters profile - such a negative outlook almost
from the beginning of the surgery - how can this turn out to be a positive
thing even if it is a positive thing - the only thing being fed seems to be
the negative? If a daily journal was there for her to go back and read,
she just might find the answers to some of the reasons as to why she had
this done. For me, it would be easy - feel free to read my profile. If I
looked back as to why, and believe me, in my opinion this hasn't been easy
for me either but it's well worth it if I get a second chance on life and
some of the things back that I was missing. If you read my profile, you'll
see how frustrated I was and how much I felt I was not living life to the
fullest and the things I was missing out on. Surgery wasn't a quick answer
for me, it was my last resort - I want my life back. Each and everytime
I'd get discouraged in the beginning (and I'm still in the beginning) - I
go and read my journal and it reminds me exactly of the reason why. This
isn't a little decision - there is pain involved and there is certainly
will power involved. I urge everyone to examine their souls - inside &
out before going into surgery so you do not end up feeling like this person
did. Daily or Weekly Journal. Write your feelings. Search your heart and
make sure it's for you. I can not imagine being in the place that this
woman is in. The thought of going back into surgery for a reveral sounds
absolutely unbelievable to me. To put myself back through the pain and
risk of it all - please, other readers, be sure of what your doing before
doing it.
— Lisa J.
April 28, 2002
Hi there -
I went into your profile - you are still such a new post op - these
feelings are normal - your body is going through a big adjustment - I think
many of us wondered why we did this at one point but as the time passes and
you get use to your new eating habits and you get sick less and less and
feel more and more healthy - it gets better....plese read my profile
regarding my early post op time....I had the same thoughts....you know you
really dont get everything in you need (nutritionally) right away - so that
is normal as well.....hang in there and give it some time....if you need to
talk - e mail me anytime........
Good luck
— Sharon Jones
April 28, 2002
Hi, Anita. I feel so terrible for you. I can't imagine being in the
situation that you are. I am 11 days post-op and am finally feeling better.
The day I left the hospital was the worst for me. I was so sore and had a
tickle in my throat that all I did was cough on the way home.(boy, did my
incision hurt like heck) After I got home I had one thing after another
emotionally happen to me. I swore that I was a complete idiot for putting
myself through all of this. I think that you really need to talk to a
professional about your feelings. Did you have a pyschological evaluation
before surgery?? Go to this person and talk to them. Ask them if they know
of others like you who are unhappy with their procedure. It may help to
know that there are others who feel the same way that you do who have made
it work for themselves. God Bless you.
— Jennifer F.
April 28, 2002
I think you make a good point, L.J. I think I would be in Anita's shoes if
I decided to go through with surgery now (I recently cancelled my surgery
date). And you're right, Anita, there are few out there willing to say bad
things about their surgery even if they are having problems. I think that's
one of the things that has irritated me about this site (they even took off
the option to use "Decided Against Surgery" in your surgery
status... so much for an open exchange of experiences). There are few brave
enough (although there are some) to tell the other side. My negative
feelings about surgery? Well since I didn't have it, I'll have to tell you
why I backed out instead. I was planning on posting them to my profile
sometime in more detail, but I'll give you a synopsis. 1) I am young (21),
and although I have a pretty extensive diet history, I have never really
had a long-term opportunity to be out of the house and try and care for
myself (still live with the 'rents). I think I need to explore the
possibility that I can beat this on my own, before I decide surgery is my
last resort. I know there are probably people reading this and laughing at
me because I think I even would have a chance, but I am not so cynical yet.
2) I was planning on the BPD/DS and there really isn't any long-term
clinical data on it, besides the study on the old BPD. As young as I am, if
I can't know with near certainty that people don't die as a result of this
surgery in 40 or 50 years, then I cannot give up what I have now on an
uncalculated risk. Life is not that bad. 3) Too many coincidences with
people developing autoimmune disorders (LUPUS, Sjogren's, Bechet's, for
example) after all different types of bariatric surgery. They may be in the
minority, but that has just freaked me out a little too much. After talking
to my doctor at the Mayo Clinic (who would have been supportive had I
pushed her), I feel like I am doing the right thing by putting this off
indefinitely. She had a patient who had bariatric surgery who had the
surgery reversed because of complications during surgery, and that person
is now an exercise-fiend, lol. So it is not unheard of to have your surgery
reversed if that's what you want. I would wait though until you heal first
though so you don't put your body through too many shocks so close
together. Also, I think I would get some therapy in the meantime if I were
you (please don't take offense). I am not sure by reading your profile why
you are in such a panic to get this reversed. It might also be helpful to
work with someone to figure out why you went through with it in the first
place, in spite of your hesitations. Do you feel you didn't know enough
about the surgery going in? That is one thing I see on this site that just
shocks the living daylights out of me. Some people don't even know if they
are transected (Hello?!?) or the right kind of vitamins to take or if
they're allowed to do this, that, and the other... and it's too late! Their
post-op! It's as if some people just put on blinders as they go through
this process. So another suggestion I'd make to people interested in WLS is
really do your research and become as much of an expert as you can be on
your procedure. Best of luck to you, Anita!
— [Deactivated Member]
April 28, 2002
Anita, I have seen you post several times about wanting a reversal and
complaining that no one wants to hear about the negative. There are
several posts on the message board right now from people who are feeling
similar to the way you feel. None of them is talking about having a
reversal, but there are people who post the negative. I don't mean to
sound harsh, but it's time to stop the pity party and start working with
your tool. If you are having physical problems like being unable to keep
anything down, contact your doctor to make sure nothing is physically
wrong. If there isn't anything wrong, then you need to just be patient, do
what you know you need to be doing and give it some time.
— garw
April 28, 2002
Hi Anita, I think you will regret it MORE if you have the reversal. This
is still all very new to you. There are going to be bumps along the road,
but you are past the worst part, the surgery. Things get better every day
and attitude is half the battle. Think of all the things you're going to
be able to do with your family. Just wait until the weight comes off and
you get a diet stabilized that you can live with. I'm six months post op
and can hardly go a day w/o a protein shake. My body craves them. Keep
experimenting. You're gonna find your niche. It's true that food is going
to (or has already) lose its glamour. We have to re-think it all out and
realize that now we're eating for fuel, not for other emotional issues. I
think you're gonna be fine. Just PLEASE give it some more time. I think
if you had the reversal, that's when you'd have the most regrets. GIVE IT
SOME TIME. Take it a day at a time. Even on my worse day, I'm never sorry
I had it done. I'm off of three out of four prescriptions, all the aches
and pains are easing up, my clothes sizes are going down, all good things.
You'll see. May God bless you on your own personal journey.
— blank first name B.
April 28, 2002
Anita, only you can answer the question why you had the surgery. I read
your profile and you really did not go into it. Did you have any
comorbids?? You also don't say why you regret it and want the reversal.
Are you still having nauseau and vomiting? Or is it that you are just
missing the food? I'm not trying to be harsh, but in the beginnng (and
even now) I do regret the surgery, because I do miss the food. I read a
lot of profiles prior to having this surgery and so many people just talked
about how happy they were for their weight loss and didn't mention much
about food issues or other bad things. I recently read about "oil
slicks" that is something I also hadn't read about, but on the other
hand I do understand, because so many people criticize weight surgery
patients.
— Lisa N M.
April 28, 2002
One response that has been lacking in previous comments is the possible
option of anti-depressant use. I noted one recommend going to the
psychologist you had to pre eval with which is a excellent suggestion. 3
weeks out (I am about 9 weeks out now) I became very distressed wondering
why I did this and so on. I too was wondering on surgery date if this was
right for me but went ahead because I have 2 little boys and was doing this
so I could improve the quality of life for myself and family (not to have a
pretty body although I don't mind that side effect lol) Well, I realized I
was dispairing because I had reached the point where usurally I
"loose" the diet instead of loose the weight. I chose this so
there would be no back door and once I came to grips with that I was able
to start the grieving process (I lost a comforter I have used for the last
30 years) Anti depressants can help the progress along. One other thing
is that I had gone thru 2 other surgery's so the physical problems post op
didn't seem so overwhelming , I know they are temporary. I suggest you
begin praying "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't
change (no reversal possible for another 3 or 4 months) The courage to
change the things I can (possible medication, taking care of yourself,
counseling, and so on) and the wisdom to know the difference."
God's Blessings.
— Brenda F.
April 28, 2002
Did you not discuss potential side effects of this procedure with your
surgeon BEFORE jumping into it? I have seen many posts on THIS website
dealing with the problems that new post ops have -- pain, vomiting,
constipation, etc. These same problems accompany almost any major surgical
procedure and that's exactly what this is -- a MAJOR surgical procedure.
You're only about 4 weeks out from surgery! If the doctor removed your
appendix and you still had abdominal pain would you demand that the surgeon
return whatever he removed? You need to allow yourself time to heal before
you pass judgement. My doctor did not allow me to eat anything solid for
the first 6 weeks in order to allow my pouch time to heal. Anita, if
you're sure you want a reversal, I doubt there is anything any of us can
say to convince you otherwise. But don't belittle those of us who are
THRILLED with our results, who do NOT have any major problems to contend
with post op and who would not trade this surgery for anything.
Insinuating that we're not sharing our "negative feelings" or
that we are not being true to our thoughts and feelings implies that we're
part of a "feel good conspiracy" or something. I LOVE the
results I am getting from my surgery. I have vomited only 2 or 3 times
since surgery and that's the WORST thing that's happened to me since I've
been home. I have NO negative feelings to share, sorry about that. I
apologize if you think that's harsh but I think Gar has it right -- you've
been talking about reversal almost from the beginning. I hope your
situation and/or your attitude improves soon.
— Pam S.
April 28, 2002
Gar Westlake, it's real funny that you can post a message to my question,
about wanting a reversal and the feelings that I am going thru "WHEN
YOU HAVEN'T HAD THE SURGERY YET!!!!!!!" SO, HOW COULD YOU KNOW HOW I
FEEL!!
— Anita B.
April 28, 2002
Fatigue and depression is very common post-op. You need to give yourself
time to heal. You just had MAJOR surgery. What were the reasons that you
did this? You are getting healthier every day. THAT is something to smile
about! I did a search for reversal in the library here on AMOS. The only
ones who asked these type questions, and there were VERY FEW, have gotten
past the hard part and are happy with the results. I recommend that you do
the same, do the research, and you will find that what you are experiencing
is NORMAL. You are beating yourself up way too much. I should also
mention that there used to be an anonymous feature so that those that felt
like they were in the minority (regretted surgery/wanted reversal), they
could speak up anonymously. Even all of those were positive. You are
looking for those that regret, but I think that the only ones that you will
find are those that are going through the beginning post-op phase as you
are right now. I had 2 strictures after my surgery, coudn't eat anything,
if I did it would get stuck and vomit for hours, even liquids were vomited.
I was also throwing up blood from a tear in my new pouch, which was caused
from the continuous,violent vomiting. I was dehydrated and had to go to
the ER where they admitted me. I was one miserable puppy. But I NEVER had
a moment of regret. I had to wait 8 months for this surgery, so by the
time I had it I was just so happy to be on the losing side. I always say
that if I had to go through that every year, or have the surgery every year
to keep this up, I would do it! It wouldn't hurt to do more research on
this surgery. I had a long waiting period to do mine, and was
well-informed on the subject. I think that one criteria they should have
before qualifying is to make sure you are totally informed. Whether from
the doctor or the insurance company, it should be required. This is big,
and I am a bit surprised how fast some people are getting it done. I
didn't like waiting at the time, but I'm glad I had that time now. It
wouldn't hurt for you to now do some research and become more familiar with
your new 'pipes'. Knowledge is power, and you would probably feel more
confident in this surgery once you are more educated on the subject. I
give thanks to the good Lord above, everyday, for this wonderful chance at
a new, healthier, happier life. I hope you find your peace in this. I
will be praying for you Anita.
— Cheri M.
April 28, 2002
Anita, Gar Westlake did not say that she has experienced the post-op phase.
She is merely suggesting that you read on the message board of those going
through the same thing you are. She is only trying to help. I have seen
Gar on here probably every day and she is well educated on the topic also.
You should heed her advice and not flame her for trying to help you. She
is on here every day helping others. The only times I have seen you on
here, is to post something negative. I check in on this site every day,
for over a year now. Keep your chin up...thats good advice!
— Cheri M.
April 28, 2002
Join WLS_uncensored at yahoogroups.com. You will get a lot of affirmation
for your negative feelings there. Good luck to you...
— rebeccamayhew
April 28, 2002
Do you ever get the feeling in reading some people's questions, responses
and profiles that they are just itching for a battle of some kind or
another? If you want a reversal, go get one. If you want to complain
about (fill in the blank), feel free. Anyone want to join Anita, chime on
in. As for me, I got better things to do....
— merri B.
April 28, 2002
At four weeks postop I'm not sure how you could possibly make the decision
to want this surgery reversed. Did you know all the pros and cons before
you had your surgery? Is it possible that your doctor did not do his job
in educating you about how you would feel, etc. throughout your postop
period? I have not had surgery yet, but my doctor told me that it would be
the same type of pain, recovery, etc. that I had when I had a C-section and
hysterectomy.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Your body takes time to heal...and by no
means is four weeks a long enough time to heal. When I had my hysterectomy
I didn't feel good for the first two months...I was tired and weak
constantly...everyone heals differently.
Best of luck and I hope you feel better.
— Getting H.
April 28, 2002
I just tried to look at Anita's profile and POOF...it's all gone! Imagine
that? Look Anita, you certainly have the right to ask any question you
want, but your question certainly did have a negative connotation. I had
serious complications after my surgery, had to endure two other surgeries
and months of battling serious wound infections, and almost 1 year later
iIam happier and healthier than I have been in years! I sure had felings in
the beginning that weren't always rosy and cheerful, but I tried with all
my might to believe that everything would work out as it should. I leaned
on others for support and stayed as positive as I could. Now, I have the
life I wanted and perseverence paid off.I am determined to make healthy
food choices and maximize this life saving tool. I am not sure why you went
ahead with surgery to begin with if as everyone says according to your
newly lost profile, you were negative from the beginning. Sounds like maybe
the psych. evaluation could have been a little clearer in finding out you
may not have been a candidate fror surgery in the first place! Anyway, try
to respect people like Gar who are here every day being a shining light for
others, I read her reply to you and found it to be very supportive as hers
always are. Anyway, personally I think you should spend more time trying to
figure out how you will spend your post op life to make your journey a
succes, rather than trying to convince yourself and others that when things
get tough, negativity is productive rather than positivity. Anyway, just my
two cents... Boy, wish I could have read that profile before it was
magically erased!!
— Vicki K.
April 28, 2002
I went through a very hard time at first... no complications to speak of,
but a nasty case of depression. I always ate and ate to make myself feel
better, and all of a sudden my one coping mechanism was gone. I'm now 9
weeks out and minus 54 pounds that I'll never see again. I find I'm having
to deal with issues that I put away for years. I'm alone... I don't have
any family to speak of, and no friends either. I hid myself away from the
world for a long time, and it's really hard to get back out there. But you
want to know something? The depression has lifted, and I'm starting to see
the possibilities. I'm going to make a life for myself... carve out a
place in the world that is just MINE. There's more to life than my sorrow
and pain, and drowning my feelings with a bucket of chicken. Give it some
time, and talk to the people here. It does get better.
— Michelle B.
April 28, 2002
Anita, I tried to send you a private email, responding to the one you sent
me less than two hours ago, but it appears that along with deleting
everything off your profile, you have also deleted your email address. I
am sorry you did not like what I posted. I did not say that I knew what
you were feeling. You asked us to 'be true to your thoughts and feelings'.
I was being true to my thoughts. I hope that you are able to have the
reversal that you are so desparate for and can get on with your life. All
the best to you.
— garw
April 28, 2002
I had my surgery on Dec. 12, 2001. I had to go back in to surgery the very
next day due to a leak in my new pouch. I had a feeding tube in my stomach
and 2 drain tubes for almost 6 weeks. I could have nothing by mouth for 4
weeks, not even water. Everything had to go through the feeding tube. My
incision didn't heal all the way at the top and I had a big gaping hole in
my chest for 2 months that I had to pack every day. But 4 months post op
now and down 80 lbs. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I am off both
of my medications that I was taking for high blood pressure, I am off of
the Vioxx that I was taking for my knee pain. My back doesn't hurt when
walking anymore, my knees don't hurt anymore (before surgery I was taking
at least 15-20 ibuprofen a day for the pain in my knees). I can move
around easier and life is finally beginning to get good. I still have a
long way to go with my weight loss. It took me being 3 months post op
before I could tell people that asked me if I regretted having this surgery
that no, I don't regret anything and I would do it all again. I think
everyone wonders what they did to themselves in the beginning. Give
yourself time to heal before making any rash decisions about a reversal. I
had my surgery done at University Hospitals in Cleveland, Ohio and my
surgeon told me that it is more complicated and more dangerous to do a
reversal than having the actual surgery done in the first place. Just be a
little more conscious of what you're eating. I am 4 months post op and
wouldn't dare try eating a hot dog yet, it's not even real meat. Make
healthy choices and listen to your body. That's what I had to do
— Melinda B.
April 28, 2002
Now I had few problems post op, and firsthand never experienced what your
going thru... BUT my wife Jen sure did. She had a rough first few months,
got dehydrated and was in the hospital christmas eve. It was a terrible
time and even though I was a post op I didnt appear to help... <P>
Anita PLEASE email me. Lots of us CARE, and my wife Jen would be happy to
talk to you. Please drop us a email and the to of you can talk on the phone
if you want. She missed her buddy food SO BAD. Was physically ill and had a
horrid time, She may be able to help you. <P> Please dont let the
unfeeling comments of some posters hurt you. Most of us care and truly are
devoted to helping YOU the new post op.
— bob-haller
April 28, 2002
I am only 7 weeks post-op. At week 2 I posted to the board that this was
the biggest mistake of my life and I want a reversal...now! I got email
from people telling me that they felt the same way that early post-op.
Everyone said just give it some more time and it will get better. You know
what?....IT GOT BETTER! I got on anti depressants ( I was missing my
comfort sooooo much!) I started talking to other post-ops. I felt much
better when most of them told me they had regrets in the first few weeks.
All I am trying to tell you is that your feelings are not unusual.
Depression is hard! You have to see a doctor about it! I still have
moments where I think "did I do the right thing"? Especially
since I have had to have two (2) Endoscopies/dilations since surgery. I
keep hanging in there. That is what you have to do. Yes, there are some
negatives to this surgery, but there are negatives to just getting up in
the morning! Within time, the positive will outweigh the negative! Give
yourself some needed time and find a good psychiatrist that can help you
get through these difficult first weeks! Good Luck!
— Sandra C.
April 28, 2002
One more thing Anita...please feel free to email me. I was right there
where you are now. I do understand! It will get better!
— Sandra C.
April 28, 2002
All things said here will help someone in some way.Whether positive or
negative,I know what I want and need.For me it is no other way.I have my
own opinions and I am entitled to share them if I choose.No one should be
bashed for expressing negative thoughts.We all have had doubts of some
sort.All thoughts should be encouraged.Some people should not do this and
it is OK to say so.What worked for you may not be everyone's answer.Let us
learn from our differences in opinion.Me, I am doin' this,those of you that
are with me,Let's do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— Michelle W.
April 28, 2002
Anita, I'm hoping you see this so you can clear something up. I just saw
your post to the Message Board at 3:44 this afternoon (4/28). I'm
confused. Which is right, that post or this question?
— garw
April 28, 2002
I have not had my surgery yet but I have read every profile on this site
since I stumbled onto it. I have read good and bad. So far everyone that
said WHY did I do this was early after surgery but as you keep reading they
all say the same thing, it gets better. I'm sure I will go through the same
thing, I do know that I have considered all the possibilies, and for me to
continue to live like this, no thanks, this is not living. I hope things
get better for you, Do you have positive support?
— Lisa W.
April 28, 2002
Hi Anita. I hope you are still checking responses here. I am still
pre-op, but have read this type of feeling many times on this site. I
wouldn't be "tired of hearing the postive responses" since they
are the things helping me in my journey. But your feeling seem completely
normal. I think the advice to give it time is probably best. Post-op
depression seems very common. I hope that you will give the surgery a
chance as well as this site. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Feel
free to email me for support. Although I am still pre-op, I do know a
thing or two about depression!
— emilyfink
April 28, 2002
hi, Anita - I wanted to chime in with my opinion on your Q&A post. I
am one of the fortunate post ops - no complications to date and doing fine
w/food and weight loss, however I too observed your earlier post of today
where it appeared things were looking up. I know that immediately post op,
I also second guessed the wisdom of having this surgery done- I was also in
the throws of what I affectionately termed my "hormonal storms"
pretty common w/rapid wgt loss from what I understand. I can honestly say
that now @ almost 9mos postop that my life is normal. I know that foods
work well for me and what to avoid. My hormonal fluctuations seem to have
stabilized (well except for my normal PMS) and I don't feel like either
crying or committing homicide at any given second! Take care, I hope things
do get better for you no matter what you decide in the end.
— Jean K.
April 28, 2002
I'm sorry that you're having such a tough time right now.
I think that you should'nt listen to anyone but yourself.I see how many are
saying it will get better, it might. But then again it might not. I don't
think that you are always complaining, just stating how you feel. This site
is very against anything that might deter people from having this surgery.
This is not the best thing for everyone.I've noticed that alot of
"regulars" that post are not very welcoming to new members or
negative comments. Sometimes this surgery is just a bad idea. I hope that
everything gets better for you.
— Grace N.
April 28, 2002
"Most folks are as happy as they want to be." Some people only
know how to be angry and need couseling to learn how to turn it around. So
they don't see neglect where it doesn't exist. Rudeness when it is not
intended.
— faybay
April 28, 2002
One of the previious poster probalby "hit the nail on the head"
with her answer about your hormones going every where. Fat is a storage
unit for estrogen. If you lose a lot of fat quickly your hormone levels are
changing rapidly. We all know what that can do to you. If you're close to
menapause you might even start getting hot flashes even though you never
had them before. Relax and wait a few months for your body to regulate,
then see how you feel. Life will probably look a lot different.
— Lee Ann H.
April 28, 2002
Hi Anita! I have also seen you post about regretting your decision to have
this surgery done. Since you are continuing to feel this way, PLEASE speak
to your physician about it. Sometimes, the best advice, is advice you pay
for. I'm not dumping on what other members have suggested, but sometimes it
is best to seek the advice of professionals instead of personal
experiences. I sincerely hope you feel better very soon and am so sorry you
are suffering. {{{{HUGS}}}}
— NicoleG
April 28, 2002
Dear Anita, I'm one of the ones who had no complications and very little
second-guessing, so I feel there are a couple of things to add about having
WLS.
First, WLS is not magic, and it won't make the bad stuff go away, poof!
That just doesn't happen in real life. In one sense, WLS is like a wedding
in that it is the realization of fantasy, but it is only one day/event.
Marriage (and weight loss) is what happens when you come home from the
honeymoon (or the hospital) and start to deal with everyday events in your
life - making the bed, laundry, dusting, going to work, figuring out what
to make for dinner, doing the dishes, etc.
Second, speaking for myself, I had been in therapy, intensive one-on-one
therapy, for years and years, in part to deal with the root causes of why I
ate the way I did and why I felt the way I did, so I was already doing the
internal work when I had the WLS. The WLS was a way of getting the
external to reflect the internal. Previous posters' suggestions about
looking back on the reasons for having the surgery are good ones. If you
don't have a journal, may I suggest that you sit down with a pad of paper
and list the pros for having surgery on one side of the paper and the cons
against having surgery on the other. For me, the pros FAR outweighed the
cons.
Dealing with the everyday stuff is no stroll down the lane for anyone.
Even for those who don't have WLS. I try to remember that every single
day, because life isn't easy, even for those who look as if it is, for
them.
Please know that there are folks out here who sympathize and empathize
with what you are going through, and you are not alone.
— Marjorie B.
April 29, 2002
anita,
I was miserable after surgery up until 4 weeks when I started feeling a
little normal. The people who imply if you are miserable you didn't
research are wrong, at least in my case. I read and researched and went
into the chat room and did education classes with my surgeon and went to
support group meetings etc. It's like climbing a mountain, river rafting,
driving a car, having sex, having a baby, whatever, reading is fine but
until you've done it you just don't know. as for being told the pain was
like a c section or whatever, didn't have one so wouldn't have a clue what
that feels like. Some people bounce off the table ready to take on the
world, and bully for them. But some of us it takes longer. You've had major
surgery, you're starving, the body is going what the heck did you do to me,
on top of that it takes about 4-6 weeks for the anesthesia to work
completely out of the body, it can be pretty darn miserable. I thought I
made the hugest mistake ever. I went into the chat room whining, instead of
negative people attacking me and telling me it's all my fault, I didn't
read enough, I should have just known... I got loving kind responses that
got me through. People who were willing to admit they had been miserable
and weak and *whiney* too. I hope I'm passing some of this onto you. You
don't deserve the slamming you have gotten here when you reached out in
your time of need and confusion. I can only tell you for most of us the
misery passed. I feel wonderful now, after surgery I never thought I'd feel
wonderful again. My husband held me at two weeks when I broke down and
sobbed about doing this to myself. The social worker in my Surgeon's office
told me feeling that way is perfectly normal. Feeling resentful, angry,
disgusted at having the surgery can all be feelings that come, then go. I
can't say I thought of reversal... I never wanted to face another sugery,
ever, but I can tell you to hang on. I can't read your profile, but I hope
you don't give up on us because of the slamming you've recieved. There are
caring wonderful people on this message board. Take care
— Becky K.
April 29, 2002
Hi Anita, Im 7 weeks post op and am feeling okay, down 40 pounds and Im so
grateful. However, I do understand how you feel. I still have a thought
here and there and ask myslef if I did the right thing. The first 3 weeks
were really bad. I felt so abnormal. I was depressed cos I just plain
missed food, not because I was hungery but because it was my comforter and
friend. It bothered me that I couldnt eat like everyone else and it put a
damper on my time that I spent with my husband, especially on weekends
becuase we always went to eat alot. I have started trying to focus on other
things I can do to replace eating. When I get down, I excercise a little or
take a walk. So much of our lives revolve around food. When we are heavy
it's most of our life. Now we have to focus on letting that part of us go
away. Its a struggle but one Im sure we will be happy with in time. Best of
luck to you!
— L M.
April 29, 2002
Anita, I am truly sorry to hear that you want a reversal so quickly. As a 4
1/2 month post-op I am doing AWESOME!! But I didn't start to feel this way
until I was 8 to 10 weeks out. I was very scare at first because of all the
changes my body was going through and I had to RE-LEARN my eating habbits
big time!!! I hated everyone and everybody because of the self-pity mode I
was in. I missed my comfort food. But I manage to live through it because I
read every question asked on this site and it was very comforting to read
that other people were having it rough. For me compared to the others my
problems were small but I was still suffering. I consider myself extremely
lucky now because I could have had WAY worse happen. Everything you are
feeling is normal except most of us don't say the "R" word
because deep down I think we would rather die than have our surgery
Reversed!! I went into this surgery with my eyes open and I knew I may have
some problems. I knew there would be light at the end of tunnel because
soooooo many people went before me and now they are showing me the way. You
have to be patient and people like yourself want instant gratification!!
And the second it doesn't happen you want to through in the towel. Now I
see that the insurance companys need to have a very serious psch.Evaluation
done so that when someoone wants to have this surgery truly have the
maturity to handle ups and downs in the beginning. Like I said , I had my
early regrets but I never wanted a Reveral!!! One last say, you can't be
lazy. Yes, its hard work to get the protein in, all your vitamins, water
etc... you have to be dedicate to your new lifestyle of eating. If you are
lazy person who can't be bothered doing this then you should get a
reversal done and then you can eat or stuff and continue on a one way path
of MORBID OBESITY until you do die. You just received the greatest gift of
oportunity and you want to trash it because of what?? Did you have psch.
test? and who ever passed you should be fired!!! This site needs a
catagory!!! for whinners only. Its for the ones who have to be complaining
about real minor stuff and want Reversals. Hey, its the truth!! I thought I
was a big baby until I read questions like this!!! Now I know I am
normal!!! 41/2 months down and I have lost 75 lbs. I feel I can take on the
world Thanks to this surgery!!! and I am only getting started.....shoot by
the end of my first year I will be leaping over tall buildings in a single
bound!!!! Awesome AWESOME!!! Hope you re-think your decison because if you
do have it done "YOU" WILL regret it one day. You had the chance
and toss it out like yesterdays trash. Just one womans opinion thats all.
Just like you, I am being HONEST!!! No disrespect, no cussing, just my
opinion. I have had my share of reading posts to my questions that have
pissed me off but hey sometimes I deserved it and it gave me a reality
check. I have learned alot and I will continue to learn because everyday is
different. So read and learn. Pick and choose what you think will help you
and start living!!! Good Luck on your journey
— Laura G.
April 29, 2002
In the beginning, I thought "why in the world did I ever do
this?" But, I'm 11 months out and I've lost 138 pounds and I'm
feeling wonderful! Give it time, once you really start losing the weight,
everything will change.
— dolphins94
April 29, 2002
Becky, please don't turn my post around to suit your needs. If you perused
my post, you would 'hear' that I did not imply that you have to do research
so that you don't become depressed. That is just ridiculous! If she had
done her research, she would know that she is NORMAL, her feelings are
justified and that she will get over it. Before commenting on others posts,
please read more carefully. Thanks
— Cheri M.
April 29, 2002
WHY DID I DO THIS SURGERY? Ah, there is a question that I wish to answer
:-) For me, I did this surgery because I was so sick and tired of being
sick and tired and hurting and almost--an invalid. I could not shop without
having DH drop me at the front door & pick me up there, too. I could
not play with my grandkids. I didn't want to go to the movies, because I no
longer fit comfortably in the seats, my blood pressure was outta control
even with meds, I hurt all the time, my other health issues were becoming
worsened & most were obesity related, it dawned on me that I may not be
around in a couple of years because I was just too ill, I was depressed
because of how I looked to other people, I no longer enjoyed travel because
I "didn't fit" and felt very awkward in my own skin. The list
goes on & on. My life changed 6-20-01 when I had an open prox. RNY. My
starting weight was 321 pounds. Today, I am -156 pounds and FEEL SO GOOD. I
thank GOD every day for my surgeon, for weight loss surgery and for giving
me back to my family. PS- for the first five weeks of my recovery, I
regretted having put myself through all of this. I'm so grateful today.
— Barbara B.
April 29, 2002
I was off goofing off and happened across this question again - it's kind
of odd to me that the original person who asked this question requested for
people to be true to their thoughts & feelings - not that anyone would
post anything other than their own truth & feelings but she
specifically pointed it out when asking and then when people post, some
people want to view that as 'battle' or 'ready to fight' or something else
close to that. I don't think she was "slammed" by anyone on this
page - I think people are simply stating what they are feeling and that
should be okay. Why does it have to be viewed as though if in a 'fight' or
'debate' rather than a difference of opinions in conversation. As someone
stated below - all of this information is good for the pre-op patients.
They will get insight from all the views and all the opinions left here by
all of us. Sometimes it feels as though I'm back in elementary school and
not dealing with grown adults at this WLS site - not everything has to be a
battle. It's simply people participating in conversation and I truly don't
believe anyone of us have ill intentions towards another participant. Most
of us don't even know each other - right? If my earlier post seem to
'slam' the original poster - please forgive it - certainly wasn't
intentional. I thought it was kind of strange myself that the original
poster had left a message on the posting board that slightly contradicts
what was asked here. Maybe some things could be posted to stir emotions -
it's all still good though, will help someone along the way. Whichever way
you end up going (original poster) - I truly wish you the best of luck and
finding some peace with it all...I kept you on my mind and prayers last
night as I dozed off to sleep.
— Lisa J.
April 29, 2002
Cheri,
I am not going to fight you, it's silly. You are entitled to your opinion
and me to mine.
Becky
— Becky K.
April 29, 2002
Just went back to read the posts and realized I hadn't even been talking
about yours Cheri. I was replying to the person who asked if she had read
the posts on vomitting and stuff, hence my answer that even if you do read
it, reading it and living it are two different things. So before jumping on
me.. make sure it's you I'm talking about? Perhaps you shouldn't assume
it's about you?
Becky
— Becky K.
April 29, 2002
Maybe Anita didn't get slammed, but there are some incredibly insensitive
people on this site. Association for Morbid Obesity Support? Doesn't seem
that way sometimes. I am still shocked at Laura's post.... "Did you
have psch. test? and who ever passed you should be fired!!!"....
"I thought I was a big baby until I read questions like
this!!!".... And the comment that just horrified me: "If you are
lazy person who can't be bothered doing this then you should get a reversal
done and then you can eat or stuff and continue on a one way path of MORBID
OBESITY until you do die." I can't tell you how this hurt even me.
I'm so sorry if you had to read it too, Anita. Laura, you sound just like
a skinny person whose forgotten where they came from and thinks they have
all the answers. Do you know how many people on this site are probably
afraid of dying? But you find that fear suitable fodder for your insults
to this poor woman? If you want to say "99% of diets are
ineffective..." OR "Taking your vitamins is an incredibly
important post-op..." OR "Consider that you may continue to gain
weight if you have this surgery reversed...", then FINE. But to tell
someone if they have their surgery reversed (which is as good as telling
those looking into surgery that if they don't have it) that they will stuff
their faces until they DIE is just WRONG. It's cruel, and it's not
suitable for a forum like this is that is supposed to be supportive. And
ironically enough, you are just promoting a stereotype that you were
probably the victim of yourself.
— [Deactivated Member]
April 29, 2002
Anita, I love you gurl and I respect your feeling. Do what you gotta do. If
you are unhappy with your surgery then get your reversal. Its your body.
Don't let anyone tell you that it is perfectly normal to feel this way, yes
it maybe but you need to not worry about what other people say Do what you
feel in your heart is right, and if you feel reversal then go ahead gurl
get your reversal and feel better about yourself. I really hate to see
anyone unhappy. I am 2 weeks post op and just because I feel good does not
mean the next person has to. God love you and I do to. So I respect any
decision that you decide. I will be praying for you
— Lovett
April 29, 2002
Anita, it took me three months before I felt normal. There were days,
especially with my complications, that I felt like I was losing my mind. I
had a rough recovery. My two year anniversary was Friday, April 26.
Although I went through a lot (and others have went through far more than I
have), I have no regrets now. I suggest you contact your surgeon with your
feelings. There may be something physicall wrong. If not, perhaps he can
refer you to a therapist to deal with your feelings and a nutritionist to
help with any food issues you may be having. I seriously doubt your
surgeon (or any other) will be willing to give you a reversal so early on
without life threatening complications. Your feelings are certainly valid,
and I hope you get the assistance you need. Best wishes,
— [Deactivated Member]
April 29, 2002
My surgeon told us out front that he would refuse a reversal unless it was
medically necessary. He said he is quite often asked for a reversal because
the patient experiences a "panic" for whatever reason - vomiting,
emotional, family pressure,etc. Personally, I have NOT ONCE thought about
a reversal. I am still struggling 18 months later to maintain the weight
loss. I guess I will always struggle with weight issues. But, No Reversal
for me. Hang in there, and good luck to you whatever your decision.
— marciejayne
April 29, 2002
I am sorry to hear how honest answers can offend our very young members.
Some need to simply grow up because life is no bowl of cherrys. This
surgery has many many positives and a few negatives. You can find negatives
in everything if you look hard enough. I was being honest in everything I
wrote. Before I had my surgery and when I ate, I ate until I was stuff. How
do you think we got so fat!!! WE ate too much and too often!!! Is it cruel
to say that? Why candy coat it?? I had a very serious problem with food and
it was impossible to loose weight. When I say this I am speaking of myself.
People can be lazy thin or fat. Some people can't be bothered. Its got
nothing to do with if your fat or not. When you are morbid obese is makes
you go into denial about alot of stuff. But once you have the wls and you
lose 100lbs. you start to become more honest with yourself in your
thinking. Ever hear a 400lb person say " geee I don't know how I got
so big because I hardly eat!! Well try asking them again after they lose
200 lbs and you will hear a totally different answer!!! and thats the name
of that tune toots!!!
— Laura G.
April 29, 2002
I believe you're missing the point, Laura. There is a big difference
between candy coating and being tactful and sensitive. When someone comes
to you for help, honesty is a neccessity, but it does no good to the person
seeking help to be abrasive and insulting to them (even if they approach
you in a less than positive way... how else would they approach you if they
are upset?). The concepts of honesty and sensitivity are not mutually
exclusive; it just takes more patience and effort to incorporate both. If
you want to imply that my age makes me immature and my comments invalid,
that's fine. But I think most people realize that maturity does not come
from a number.
— [Deactivated Member]
April 29, 2002
I could'nt find a profile for you so I have no idea how far post op you
are. But I found the Open RNY to be quite painful and recovery was very
hard. I had no energy for six months and still don't have much now and it
will be a year on May 8th! How I envy these people who say they have all
kinds of energy as I DON'T! But despite that I never wanted a reversal.
Yes, for around 2 months I kind of regretted the surgery. I think everyone
probally does for a couple of months. And I've fought depression all my
life and man did the depression set in post op! I don't know why, but it
hit like gang busters. Anyway I've had other surgeries in the past (not
WLS) and I had to have one of them reversed. It left me in a mess as once
your body is changed it can "never really go back to what it was
before surgery". I'm guessing that if the WLS is reversed you will
almost certainly go heavier than you were before. Seems your metabolism
would be slower because of the restricted calaries post op. Anyway, you
really need to give it at least 6 months before you even consider a
reversal, as you need to be healed first. Then if things are still not
right you can go from there. The first few months are no picnic. In the
mean time, you may benefit from anti depressant medicines. I'm not ashamed
to say that I need to take them. Best of luck to you.
— Danmark
April 29, 2002
Everyone, I "Thank You" for your comments both positive and
negative. I would say only one comment really and truly hurt me. Laura
Guarisco you were real insulting to me personnaly even though I don't know
you. I am not a "Whinner" but just need some real emotional
support. I thought this site was to help people thru the rough times and
not belittle them or rip them futher apart than what they are already.
GAR, I AM SORRY...I wrote that e-mail in haste!!
I want to "THANK" everyone whom offer very helpful feedback on
this question for me.
You ask why I removed my profile, it's because I didn't want another person
thinking I felt sorry for myself and all I talked about was a
reversal...yes, I have asked a couple of questions out there about reversal
so that if I go through with it, I have people's life experiences.
To answer some questions, no my doctor didn't even say I needed to a psych
eval prior to surgery. Today is my 5 week of post-op. I am down 44 pounds
and today I am feeling better. I am so happy that a lot of you have lost
the weight you needed or wanted to. Someday I will be there to, but the
difference will be "Once I get there I will provide emotional support
to anyone I know who is going thru a rough time as I once did"
......Once again "Thank You" all that gave me words of
encourgement, personal information and the right NECESSARY words I need to
hear to get thru this time......
— Anita D.
April 29, 2002
I have never once thought of having a reversal. And until recently never
had a single doubt that I had done the right thing by having my surgery. I
am 7 mos post op, had a very easy recovery from surgery, and have lost 90
lbs so far. However almost 2 months ago I started having pain due to gal
stones. I have since had my galbladder removed but am still having some
pretty serious pains due to reasons no doctor can quite figure out. It has
crossed my mind that if I had never had the RNY surgery I wouldnt be having
these pains now. Nor would I have had to go through having my galbladder
removed. (which was by far more painful of an experience than the WLS)
But,(yes here comes the point of my post)I know these times for me are
temporary. I have to look at the big picture. WLS, like life throws
little difficulties at you, you just work past them one at a time. And in
the end, you will love yourself that much more for not only having the
courage to change your life for the better, but for having the courage to
get through each and every 'hard time' along the way. Your 'recovery time'
for WLS isnt the 4-6 weeks you had to take off from work, it is the 1-2
years following surgery where you are losing your weight. I encourage you
to seek help from a support group for WLS. That kind of support is
unmatched, and lets you know you are not alone with your feelings. I would
also like to address some of the posters here that have answered your post.
Someone has come here seeking support and assistance, and a couple of the
answers here have been less than supportive. In one way in particualar, we
are all the same people. Regardless of where you are in your journey, let
us never forget where we came from.
— RebeccaP
April 29, 2002
Anita,
I can truly understand how you feel.. I had many complications post op,
most of them life threatening and only corrected through two more
surgeries. I , however, can honestly say that I am glad that I didnt choose
to go the reversal route, although my original surgeon did give me that
optlon when it was clear that I would have to have a second revision
surgery.
I opted to go to a different surgeon in another state, had the revision
surgery in early Feb, and I am doing great now.
Complications often do occur, but they can be dealt with and the outcome
positive if you have the right doctor.. and sometimes, it takes searching
and praying to get the right doctor.. I truly believed that the surgeon who
did my original surgery and first revision was the doctor I needed. As my
health deteriorated, it became clear to me that I needed another opinion
and another doctor.. I am truly thankful to this site for leading me to
someone who knew a doctor who could help me get well and stay healthy.
Give yourself time to recuperate.. we all go through some times of why did
I do this to myself....... But as you start feeling better, the weight
starts melting off, you will know why....... I can do so many things now
that I couldnt do at 392 pounds.. I am 17 mo post and down to 210.. I can
walk without being short of breath, without severe pain in my knees, my
hypertension is a thing of the past, I no longer need my asthma inhalers, I
can do all kinds of things with my youngest niece... age 10... go to the
movie and actually have room in the theatre seats, fly across country and
be able to cross my legs on a flight, go to any eatery and slide right into
a booth, etc..I can now reach my behind.. which was a major pain at 392
pounds to reach.. so many little things..
I will keep you in prayer, and hope that you feel better emotionally and
physically soon.
Take care
— Gina Landers
April 29, 2002
This thread has been absolutely defining in a study in 'supportive'
behavior. There have been charges of people being less than supportive and
chastised for being "harsh". Just a couple of things I want to
throw out as food for thought: there is something called a Cartman Triangle
in human relations. It consists of a Victim, a Persecutor and a Rescuer.
It does not always benefit a Victim to have a sympathetic audience. Is a
marine recruit the victim of a persecuting drill instructor or the
beneficiary of straight talk that helps them to be a bigger person? I
personally believe that there are times when compassionate tenderness is
warranted and other times when what I refer to as 'ruthless compassion' is
appropriate. In the latter it is better to kick a person when they are
down as they will tend to get up much faster. This is also refered to as
'tough love'. Those engaging in tough love are sometimes perceived as
Persecutors by those caught up in the drama as Rescuers. Unfortunately,
there are many well-intended Rescuer types who will reinforce Victim drama
and behavior during the course of this interaction. This is the essence of
co-dependency, a form of pathological interaction, not to be confused with
interdependency, a helathy and mature form of interaction between adults.
A clue to whether someone is a true Victim or merely an attention-seeking
drama king/queen who desire others to feel sorry for them is to notice what
happens if they don't get immediate sympathy (as distinct from compassion,
which assists without 'helping'). A true victim won't even notice while a
Drama Victim becomes demanding, indignant and self-righteous at the
insensitivity, feeling slighted and insulted. Please consider that in a
public forum, there will be many people enacting their own drama in
responding to issues in this support group.
— merri B.
April 29, 2002
Anita, I am so happy to see that you have come back and are feeling a
little better. I will have to agree 100% with Merri when she speaks of the
triangle, I take on the role of the one who has 'ruthless compassion'. I
care, and feel that the truth is warranted. I always love my fellow AMOS
brothers and sisters. These are my family. And just like a family, we
will all have our differences. What I really want you to know is that I
have been praying for you, like many others. I hope your journey continues
to steadily improve. You are ABSOLUTELY normal, and you will start to
feel better every day. If you continue to have problems, please seek
professional help, there is nothing wrong with that. You have had surgery
to become healthier, and with that you will have a much brighter future. I
recommend that eventually you should tell your story on your profile, so
that others can learn from your journey. You will have a testimony to
share. I wish you the best.
— Cheri M.
April 30, 2002
WOW!!! Iam totally blown away at Merri Busch answer!! What wisdom you
have!! It really made me think about things. Anyway, on to cystal c. you
truly made my day!! God I haven't laugh so hard in a looonnng time!! Lastly
to Anita, you know Its really hard to have compassion for someone who has
no profile and makes a statement about a Reversal and doesn't give one
reason as to why!!! Are you suffering because if you are you don't say so.
You even posted on the message board everything is great the same day you
posted this question. I do care of the ones that are hurting and scare!! I
offer all the help that I can!!! For now on I will let all the cystal c's.
handle people like you. How can you expect people to help you if you don't
express why you want a reversal.cystal c. do you know why anita wants a
reversal when you first read her question? come on, you come to the recue
for someone that you don't even know whats wrong if anything is with her!!!
Maybe a trip to the MALL will do you wonders!!!!!
— Laura G.
April 30, 2002
Merri rocks. Anita, I am glad you feel better. Whatever decision you
make; you'll need to be in good spirits and healthy to do it- so lets
concentrate on the here & now, and do what you need to do until you're
able to get the reversal. No disrespect meant; but perhaps there are not
many negative postings regarding this surgery because the majority are
happy with it and the results. Just as if you read the majority of the
posts from post-ops: 0-1 mos. is "What the HELL did I do?", then
1-3 mos. out it changes to: "I feel like crap"; then 4-6 mos:
"I feel better, and I've lost weight!" and then 6 mos. and
beyond: "Hallelujah"....
— Karen R.
April 30, 2002
Golly people! What has happened! I'm almost afraid to post in the fear
that people will yell at me! LOL!
<br>
I just wanted to offer my support to Anita because I completely understand.
I sent her an email, hoping she will get back to me.
<br>
I just wanted to address everyone here, whether your comment was postivie
or negative. I was so educated about this surgery...I thought I knew
everything! But, after I had it, times were rough. Things were so hard.
I cried everyday. I was thirsty, hungry in the head, sad, in
pain...depressed!
<br>
Yes, things have gotten better. I've lost 156 lbs in 7.5 months and I feel
like the world is my playground. BUT, one thing that I vowed never to do,
was forget the pain and feelings I endured.
<br>
I'm a very abrasive person...I won't lie! I don't mean to be. I actually
try to help...but it sometimes comes out wrong. That's why I can not
disagree with anyone that posted anything kinda harsh. Hell, I want to
tell her to snap out of it because it gets better...but that won't do her
anymore good than the "just diet and you'll lose the weight" line
worked for us!
<br>
<br>
Let's just try to remember that Anita is a new pre-op. She's experienced
feelings that some of us haven't had, don't remember, or have yet to
endure.
<br>
Good Luck Anita~
— Kristin R.
April 30, 2002
What an overwhelming supply of answers. "THANK YOU ALL"..Today I
am feeling better. I continue to improve as each day goes on. I spoke
with my doctor and she put me on some anti-depressents medicine. She knew
I was going thru a hard time, but didn't know how confused and undecided I
still was. When my days are going GREAT I don't think about a reversal.
When my days are TERRIBLE I keep going back to wanting a reversal...I think
this is just a mental thing with me right now, and I will one day get over
these feelings. She told me to keep take 1 minute at a time. I copied a
lot of these notices and showed them to my doctor, and she said for the
most part those that have been insenitive need to remember everyone is
different, and everyone copes with the surgery different. Some people have
problems, which I have had, and some people have no problems at all..One
person should not be critcized by peers who think that just because a
person is out there asking questions they should be belitted...Maybe you
need to remember your visit couple of weeks. Remember I am a new post-op
(Surgery 03/25/02) and have been on a emotional rollercoaster for
awhile...This will be my last posting because I know that alot of the AMOS
family has given me the needed support I need and I Wholeheartly
"Thank You"....Everyone is entitled to thur thoughts and feelings
and that is why I understand some of the harsh posting..Maybe you are
really unhappy yourself...Who know...Put I am bigger than that, and just
plain forgive you....BYE
— Anita D.
May 1, 2002
Anita, first of all I want to commend you for posting your feelings
publicly. The reason I say this is because I too was in your shoes and I
posted anonymously a few months ago, reason being was because of the
negative feedback but I was shocked that only 1 posted negatively. Anyway,
let me tell you my story. I am almost 5 months out and 2 weeks after my
surgery I did nothing put cry every day for 2 weeks. When I posted I was
told by numerous of people that they too felt like I did in the beginning
but wait till 6 weeks and it will get better. Well, at 6 weeks exactly it
did and I was so happy. I'm sorry that some feel they have to give tough
love to make you tough but some were just more fortunate than us. Bless
them that they did not have to suffer such an ordeal like us. The reason
their is less talk of having regrets is because of people like that. As you
can see, I didn't post anonymously because I now have a new self confidence
and who cares what people think. It's amazing how an 85 pound loss can do
to a person's self image, respect, confidence and esteem. I would like to
ask that you reinsert your profile, let yourself be a guide and inspiration
to someone else who will find themselves in our shoes. We need someone to
talk to because it's so lonely when your are alone and afraid. (Oh, my
profile isn't updated incase someone wants to comment on it) Anyway, if you
ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you. E-mail me privately anytime.
We are sisters in Christ and in this journey.
— Denise S.
May 11, 2002
Anita, I want to say that you are not the only out there that's ever felt
this way. I am almost 7 weeks post-op, and I have felt the same way. I am
NOW over wanting a reversal and feeling GREAT!!! I wish you the best of
luck and hope all is going well for you.
— Emma N.
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