goal weight?

 i picked a happy goal, a really happy goal, and an omg goal. happy goal was 170 (i'm 5'0") and i had been at 174 a few years ago and couldn't get lower so i thought that would be an exciting barrier to break. i got stuck at that same damn weight again for a few weeks and finally broke it. really happy was 150, which is where i'm around. i've been 150-155 for a while now, and can't seem to get any lower (then again there are changes i can make which would likely help). 152ish is "overweight" while anything higher is still obese so i'm straddling that line. my omg goal is 120, which i'd love to see but doubt i will. that would make me the higher end "normal." not that i put too much credit in the bmi system, but it is what it is.

even once I got to my goal (which was somewhat conservative... Just barely a normal BMI), *I* did not decide I was done... My BODY did.

Lora

Oh Lora, I love you, I can type up a three page paper response, and you just sum it all up in one sentence. :)

LOL.  I just got tired of typing MY lengthy explanation of all the relevant factors things to consider, and about the value of having realistic goals that you can meet (and always revise!) vs. setting a goal that is too aggressive that you might not meet (and then feel like a "failure" fgor not meeting an unrealistic goal, etc)...

I need to find one of my previous longer responses and bookmark it so I can just cut and paste!

Good to see you around, my friend! 

Lora

When I picked my goal weight, chart perfect for my height was 134. I found a website that used more than simply gender and height, it included things like age, body frame, etc. According to that website a woman nearly 40 (which I was when I had WLS) with a large body frame was more likely to be just fine at 154. So that was my goal.

I didn't have strong expectations about where I would end up. I lliked the thought of making goal, because it was a goal. I like to set and acheive goals. But my primary purpose in getting teh weight loss surgery was to get a healthier weight, and to overcome the destructive GERD that was destroying my voice.

I got to about 185 or so and stuck there for a long time. I was smaller than I had been sine I was 14 years old. I was pleased a*****h, and didn't really have any desire to change what I was doing to get smaller. Then I started losing again and got down (for a day) to goal, but bounced right back to about 10 lbs above goal, which seemed to suit me. I stuck there for a long time and was pleased (and didn't want to get back up to 185, no matter how pleased I was when I was there on the way down the scale).

Then I started to lose again, got down to goal. And kept losing. (mind you, I was doing nothing to lose)... I got to 8 lbs below goal and stabilized there for a while. When I looked in the mirror I saw a skeleton wearing a deflated fat suit, and boy it was NOT pretty. I knew I was too thin. Knew that goal was more realistic, and frankly 10 lbs over goal was where I really was best.

Had surgery on my ****yx last March, and regained 9 lbs immediately, then inched my way back up to my optimum level of about 10 lbs above goal. A good weight for me. Stuck there a while but have regained a bit in the last couple of months. Trying to lose 5 lbs to get back to where I should be.

I think that setting a goal can be empowering and important. I think that fixating on a number on the scale is BAD. Overall, you should have a health goal as primary, a SIZE goal as secondary, and the scale number is just a number. If people in high school cared as much about numbers as people losing weight, my job as a high school math teacher would be so much better! I think that tenaciously trying to acheive a number that is separate from how you look and feel can be self-defeating. You might get to the size you want, the health you want, but are you going too be fixated on teh scale just because it says you're 30 lbs over some arbitrary number? 

Another mistake I've seen is that people who set goals think that they have more control over their bodies than they should have. You don't just decide okay, I'm done, and then you can stop being someone who has had WLS.... this is a lifetime committment to eating differently, and the weight on teh scale is only the tiniest thing. You have to figure out what size you want to be, acheive it, and move on from there. You don't just stop the weight loss, or start it back up, just out of a decision. You have to play by the rules, and allow your body and nature to balance you out to where you need to be (I made goal at 29 months out, btw).

Now, if I don't lose my 5 lbs (and don't gain any more) I'm not goign to start crying. I'm happy with me and my focus isn't on my weight, it's on just living my life.

I've not discussed numbers with my surgeon yet but he classes you as being successful if you lose 70-80% of your excess weight

I'm trying to focus more on being healthy than a particular number. I would like to weigh less than my partner but he's into body building and can fluctuate between 13 and 15 stone in any given month

I'm quite a large frame and have a bust and hips. If I can get below 200lbs and be able to run a 10k (my non-scale goal) i'll be ecstatic

Ultimately I believe that your body knows what size it is supposed to be so will try not to stress too much if I never get to what is classed as normal for my height

Thanks Everyone!!!!

When I went in to discuss this with the Dr he asked what my goal was.  I started out at 254 and said I wanted to be 180.  He told me that was a realistic goal because he has had people come in and say they want to be 125 pounds which a lot of people fail to get to or get there and end up putting weight back on.  I actually beat my goal and range between 163-168 and have maintained for a year.  I'm one month shy of my 2 year anniversary.

I believe your body will tell you where it needs to be.  You have to be comfortable with yourself.

Stephanie

Thank you for your reply.  That is what I am thinking  I will consider my goal accomplished when I hit 175, however if my body wants to continue I will go along for the ride, no allowing myself to get below 155-160.    Congratulations on maintaing your loss!!!!

Abby

 Mine is 125! Per the charts, for my height, of 5'3, it sounds reasonable. Plus I don't remember that number ever being on my scale and would soooo love to see it! I guess I'll have to see how I look and feel when I'm close to it to know if it will be right for me though!