Husband doesn't think I'm ready... long

When I first told my husband that I want to go to Mexico for my sleeve, he was 110% on board.  When I told him that I was about to buy our plane tickets to get down there for the surgery, he was still completely behind me.

Then, all of a sudden last night (after I have paid the $500 deposit), he asks, "are you sure you're ready for this?" 

My initial reaction was a mixture of hurt and frustration.  He couldn't have asked me that BEFORE I spent $1600 between the plane tickets and the deposit? 

And besides, what makes him think I'm not ready?  I was the one who stayed with him in the hospital during his surgery, and made sure that he was being taken care of appropriately.  I witnessed more of his recovery from surgery and his adjusting to his new habits after that, more than anyone else.  I went to classes with him as his "support person" before and after his surgery, and I know the post-op diet almost as well as he does.  I have done my research, and I have no doubt in my mind that I know exactly what I'm getting into.  

The truth of the matter is that I WANT the restriction that the sleeve will provide.  I'm tired of feeling like a bottomless pit that is physically hungry again just 30 minutes after a meal.  I'm tired of not feeling satisfied after eating a proper portion of food.  And I'm especially tired of not getting any closer to my goals and what I want in life.  

I have tried other methods.  I'm convinced that the sleeve is the exact tool that I need to make my goals a reality.  

I know he supports me, and he even reassured me when he realized how he sounded that he knows I'm capable of success.  It's just ironic that I'm the one who would jump on a plane tomorrow and get this done if I could, and he's the one who is having cold feet, when I'm so deathly afraid of surgery.  I guess I'm more afraid of what life will be like if I don't do something about my current situation soon.

Sorry so long.  I guess this was my vent for the night! :) 

PS- he said the reason he questioned if I am ready is because I'm being so light hearted about it. What he doesn't understand is that I'm not taking it lightly; I'm just ready to get it over with.

Good thing he isn't making the decision,then,isn't it? there is nothing wrong with being lightheared about having the surgery.  There isn't any rule that you have to go around with a hang dog face to prove you are serious about the changes and "ready" for surgery.

We all approach thing differenty aand approaching surgery is no different.

Ignore him and be happy!

Sounds like a mans way of saying
"I really love you and I'm really worried that you will be one of the 1% and then what will I do without you? What if? I mean I love you the way you are and I really don't want to risk anything happening to you so...are YOU sure you're ready?"

LOL

give him a kiss and say "yes, I'm sure...don't worry"

I agree! ^

Well, are you ready for this?

If you know you are, that's all that matters.  If you're waiting for approval from someone else in order to know that you're ready, you might not be.

If you're ready, don't have second thoughts, get on the plane, rock your new sleeve and enjoy your new life.

 I can empathize with you.  My husband was all on board, but when all of a sudden i had a date he started to get pretty nervous.  The few days before he was very very nervous.  The morning of surgery he was just scared.  I felt blessed that I was so at peace with my decision that I could reassure him!  I bet your husband will just be amazing.  Change can be hard for a hubby, but it seems that he will be in touch with what your needs are and do an amazing job supporting you!  

I don't know your husband or his way of communicating, but sounds like a legit question, not necessarily doubting your readiness.  I mean, you are about to make a MAJOR life change. I think sometimes people under estimate the impact this surgery will have on their lives. Asking a question like that only seems appropriate - not to question you, but to get an idea of what you are thinking, how you are dealing with the coming change, etc.  If he's been there, and it sounds like he had the surgery as well, he may just want to know you can deal with everything.

Sometimes men are...well, not the best communicators, so that might have just been an innocent question meant to try and open a discussion. I think the previous posters are right about that's just his way of showing he cares.

Ease up a bit - youve got a good hubby.

Thanks everyone... yes, I do have a great hubby He's usually pretty sweet, and I know he means well.

I guess it just surprised me that he doesn't realize that I am very much aware of what life will be like after the surgery. After all, he had the same one just a year ago, and like I said, I was by his side through the entire process. I figured he would know already that I know what I am doing... especially since he knows me well enough to know that I would normally never ever elect to have surgery of any kind.

I don't know you or your husband, nor do I know your relationship history or communication style.   However, from what you've presented I don't see any indication whatsoever that the subject line of this thread is warranted. ( "Husband doesn't think I'm ready")  It sounded like a very caring, innocent, and appropriate question.  If my husband asked me that, I wouldn't have batted an eye.  Perhaps there is more to this story or this conversation?   As it stands, your reaction to this question seems a bit out of proportion.

Emotions definitely run high, though, in the time leading up to surgery.  Be as patient and gentle with both yourself and your husband as you can be.   It sounds like he'll be a great partner through all this.  It's very cool that you guys will both have the sleeve. That's gotta make it easier for both of you when you are BOTH dining on tiny protein-rich meals!  No need for junk in the house. :)

Best wishes on your upcoming surgery.  BTW... I didn't feel at all nervous until I was in my hospital gown and about to be wheeled back for surgery.  I had researched for years and felt very confident and ready.  Being confident and eager to have surgery is definitely not an indication that one isn't ready! You'll do great!