Triggeriness and cravings...

I went to a Mongolian grill with my sister and nephews today for lunch.  It was a super good place to go, I picked out very appropriate portions and they brought lettuce to wrap my cooked food in.

I made up a mixture of some sauces and one was very sweet.  So my meal was very sweet.  I would say, "sweeter than I like" but the truth is more like "the sweeter the better." 

The problem was how *not satisfied* I felt at the end of my meal, and all the major chatter that started going on in my head.  You could stop at Walgreens and get a protein bar.  Or nuts.  Or sugar-free candy.  Yikes!  I'm telling you folks, that voice was LOUD.  I cam back to the office and told myself I couldn't go anywhere for an hour.  I could think about it then.

Well, after just sitting here and accepting the cravings that were washing over me, they did actually start to subside and 15 minutes later I realize I had not been quite in my right mind.  

The cravings really diminished after surgery, but they didn't go away entirely.  And I know I'm having more now than I did early on.  When I'm in the middle of a really strong craving, I feel like I'll somehow *die* if I don't give in.  It's hard to believe it will pass.  So right now I'm just feeling very grateful I didn't act on my feelings.  They're just data, right?  They're not the deciders!  I can't run my life like feelings are the deciders!  Oh wait, I *can* but then it's a horrible mess!!

I know you guys know this, I'm just struck by how my brain can just keep going down the same, worn grooves, and how *understanding* that doesn't make it go away.  Argh!  Glad I made it through that, today!!
 

Way to go :)

I'm fighting a donut devil day but I can't get away from the office and away from the donuts so it's hard. It's tiring to have to constantly make the right decision. But it's worth it.

Really, who needs donuts??  There is no redeeming value in most donuts!!  Normies don't need them either!

They're probably stale now, anyway!  Trash bin material!

I confess - I have thrown donuts in the trash at work!  Yes, it was me!

Carmel-iced, creme-filled donuts were No. 2 behind peanut butter fudge in my pantheon of favorite binge foods.  Never was a chocolate-craving kind of gal!

 I don't even particularly like them but it's like...at this point...I just want to eat anything that's not protein. And if it's sugary and fatty - even better. But I could definitely find a better use for those calories. Just part of the compulsive eating issues though. 

 I hear ya! I still don't like the sugary/fatty stuff as much as I did before surgery...but I know it is only because I haven't had much of it since surgery. It could change lightening fast if I give in and go to them. Oh, but I hear and feel you on this one!

that DOES have to be so difficult when it's right in the office.  Luckily I'm not self-employed.  So that's at least one place where I don't have to fight it .......... but God knows there are sooooooo many others!!!   Good strength!

Yay! Good for you! I, too, have had to get back on top of a few cravings since coming back from So Cal. I slipped with a cookie and that set off cravings. I've reset already, but it ain't easy.

So good for you for not succumbing!

I wonder if you'd do better with a savory, spicy sauce rather than one of the sweet ones? Sucks that you are so sugar sensitive. You have to more careful than most it seems. Pooh!

Oh yes, savory is much better, craving-wise. 

There is this saying in OA I talk about a lot, "Accept we may repeatedly have cravings to eat compulsively, but experience has shown us that those feelings will pass."  I had a sponsor who always added "if we don't act on them."  Acting on those cravings makes them worse, but only my "head" has learned that.  The monkey still seems to think a pound of peanut butter fudge would be a perfectly acceptable way to top off lunch! 

Anyway, it *always* brings me up short when the cravings happen - isn't that crazy?  Like they don't happen for a few days and I think I'm immune all of a sudden!!  It's good to post about it to help me remember that this is how my mind works, and to share with others that while I am doing well, it doesn't mean I don't still have to contend with those same head games and crazing monkey chatter.

Hugs to you, friend!!

"Accept we may repeatedly have cravings to eat compulsively, but experience has shown us that those feelings will pass."  I had a sponsor who always added "if we don't act on them."

gotta keep this in my mind or print it on a big piece of paper.  it's so much easier to "fool" myself now.  in fact, i've been eating bits of chocolate all week.  and anything sweet makes me want more . . .   i liked your description of letting the craving wash over you and watching it subside.  i feel *****ly about OA (may pm you so we can discuss more) but this is truly a helpful statement of acceptance:  to change the things i can!

take good care, my friend.  sending you big ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

Yes, "*****ly" pretty much sums it up for me.  Or "love-hate."