To Tell or Not To Tell

First, let me say how thankful I am to have found this forum with so many helpful and supportive people! I don't remember how I stumbled onto this site, but it couldn't have happened at a better time. I am eight sleeps away from surgery and here's my question:

Only a select few people among my family and friends know that I'm having this surgery. I can't decide whether to tell everyone or not...thoughts anyone?

This is a debate that gets brought up often apparently. And there are some pretty strong feelings on both sides of the fence.

I, myself, didn't take out a front-page ad in the New York Times, but I told friends, family, and close co-workers. I wasn't sure how dramatic the weight loss would be and I didn't want anyone to worry about me. I ran into a social acquaintance I hadn't seen in a while who commented on how great I looked and asked how I did it. I told her I had weight loss surgery and was working my tush off to make it successful.

I can see where strong feelings could be involved on both sides. I'm torn. I figure if I'm debating it this hard, then I just need to stay quiet and keep moving forward. I can always tell them afterward. I suppose a small part of me is scared to say anything because of past experience. I would announce I'm on a diet, do well for a while and then fail (like all diets do). I don't envision that happening again, but don't want to take the risk either.

Thanks for your feedback!   

Have confidence in your decision....be committed to it and you WILL NOT FAIL. Keeping positive makes things easier...staying accountable and letting people know IMO keeps you on top of it...keeps you honest. You said you failed before...we all have. Stand proud and firm in the decision you made and believe you are doing it this time....get rid of the negativity in you...that will sabatoage..... YOU CAN GET THE WEIGHT OFF AND KEEP IT OFF. Believe in yourself!!!  YOU CAN DO IT!!
Nothing is worse than telling others...they knowing your progress..and you slip...you faulter...but the support they give you in knowing ..helps get you back on track n keep going. Hide from the world and sometimes one has a tendancy to slip back into old ways for no one will notice n care...if they dont really know..... I felt telling everyone would help me...and it has...it was hard revealing my weight...my fat pics...but i felt relieved and felt liberated from the hiding i was accustom to.....telling did help me...but everyone is different...it is whatever works best for you.... 

 The accountability factor is the scariest part of the reveal. Unfortunately, there are people out there who seem to thrive on the failure of others. I don't THINK I have anyone in my circle of friends and family that would hope to see me fail, but I do have some with very strong personalities. As leery as I am of the flack I would get, I'm beginning to think it's a better decision to just come out with it and see what reaction I get.

I didn't tell.  I was banded about 10 years ago and didn't hide it and lived to regret it.  So this time, only my husband knows.  There are a couple of others that found out inadvertently, but it's not common knowledge if you know what I mean.

It's a personal decision.  No right or wrong imo.

Totally a personal decision.  There's no right or wrong, so do whatever feels right for you.

I told because I'm too lazy to keep up with who knew and who didn't.  Telling was simpler and less stressful for me.

Dittoing Emelar, and adding- I knew people in my close circle of friends would notice the tiny food portions and the fast losses and start asking, so I got them in on the know before hand on my own time-line.. and got great support all the way around. That was pretty cool having the whole lot rooting for me to get better and get back in with all of them!

I waited till after surgery to tell my elderly parents and my siblings- sisters live remote from me, and well.. my parents have some pretty strong views of the "my neighbor's sister's cousin had such & such & almost died!" type.. plus I'm sure they would have pictured chicken and goats in the OR.. they don't know I had it done in MX. It helped not telling those that would be most worried- a. saved them some worry, b. totally took the wind out of the sails when you could tell they wanted to argue with me about it..! It was done, no arguing able..

Chicken and goats in the OR!!!!  Ahhh thanks for the laugh, I needed that!!!  My family would have felt the same way so I didn't tell either. lol  Not even afterward because my family is so stubborn that they'd argue about it even AFTER it was a done deal! 

 I know right?! That made me giggle too! What's worse is I could envision them shooing chickens off the operating table when I read this - made me laugh even more! Hahahahaha!!