Haven't been here in awhile.....struggling !

I'm 10 months out and down 123#. I weigh 157# and my goal is 140#. I'm not sure why I'm struggling so much the last month or so. Eating way too much,not gaining ,but, not losing either. A lot of stress at  home, but, that's nothing new due to ill/disabled spouse and other issues. Even though my number one priority for doing this is my health, I have been very depressed about how gross my body looks and that I can't afford a new wardrobe and plastic surgery ( not covered by my insurance either). I have been to counseling before due to depression/family issues. I though about going back,but, due to cost and not finding it very helpful, I haven't. Maybe this is something people go through when close to goal, I don't know. any insight is appreciated.

Sweetie- bless your heart, and take courage and hope as your friends.  When I think of the word "depression", I think of the seeming inability to move forward.  Maybe there is some of that going on?  Concerning counseling/therapy- sometimes it dosen't work as well as we want because the counselor/issue/you are just not a good fit.  I would encourage you to give it another try with a different therapist- see how it goes. Regarding clothes- someone posted a wonderful site a while back- gently used , high quality clothes for ridiculously low prices.  The site is called Threadup- I have gotten all sorts of work and casual and dressy clothes for 3 and 5 dollars - totally happy with the purchases.  Sometimes a little movement forward- baby steps- is enough to get our program moving again.  Take it as slow as you need to and work at choosing positive actions.  Sending smiles and energy your way.  Bonnie

Thank you for taking the time to respond and encourage. Most my issues are ongoing and aren't going to change, trying to deal  the best I can. Thanks for the clothes advice. I did go to the local Salvation Army , but , didn't see much or not my size. Congratulations on your impressive loss and improved health! Blessings to all . I pray for all of us here everyday.

Thank you for your prayers.  You saying that made me think of a quote by C. S. Lewis , "Prayer dosen't  change things; it changes me".  You are right that sometimes things in our lives are not set to change all that much.  We can thank God that he can make us stronger, more capable people to be able to deal with those situations as he walks with us through them.  God go with you today.

Thanks. I'm a Christian and read a lot of Christian/spiritual books.Something I recently read, made a big impact. Instead of worrying/focusing on things we wish were different,we need to get over our vision of what our life,house, finances etc. should be. We need to seek God's vision for all these things. So ,I 'm seeking that my spiritual eyes are opened to go serve God and others outside my comfort zone and in his vision, not mine.Yes, God walks with me,but, has many times carried me too.God Bless!

I've been maintaining now for a few months, but it's not where I wanted to end up. Honestly, I want to get down another 30lbs, but on the other hand I remind myself every day how lucky and happy I am not to be where I was! 

Foundation garments are AWESOME! They stop the jiggling and make me feel and look much better in my clothes. Don't look at yourself naked - and think about how your body feels so much lighter and healthier! 

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I've tried the foundation garments, they do help a lot, but, seem to aggravate my GERD. I save them for special occasions. I do know I have a lot to be thankful for and try to have an attitude of gratitude. But, lately, I just don't have it.

It might be impossible to see this but.....

After WL, when I got to my lowest (which was still not goal) - I absolutelly hated my body - deformed, extreme hanging skin, and I just KNEW plastic surgery was going to fix my problem. Even before plastics, i bought tons and tons of clothes to try and make myself feel better. It worked for like...a day. 

So off to plastic surgery I went, and did my whole body at once. Guess what - I woke up - and 6 weeks later, after I healed, I still had the same perceptions about my body and now ,a year later, battle with the constant negative thoughts about my body. 

Yes - skin sucks but thats not the problem. The problem is inside our heads. Just this week, ive made a little progress changing some of my thoughts about my body (after months and months of therapy that I hate but it kind of works). All it took was for one morning to wake up and instead of looking in the mirror and saying "Fuck im fat with a big ass" - I thought to myself, wow - I am so freaking skinny and compared to where I used to be, this is awesome."  - i dont actualy believe that , but when I put that tape on and push replay all day....I at least feel somewhat better about myself. 

Dont discount the value of therapy yet - I dont personally think its necessary because I feel like im getting more from some self help books and what not, but you need something to help you sort out all the negative thoughts that affect our emotional state. 

Thank you Allison. I've read many of your posts and your always so willing to give, share and encourage and are an inspiration.I totally agree with you about the therapy vs. self help. I've read a million, spiritual, self help, relationship books and have a lot more insight and help from those than counseling. I was never overweight till after I got married and had worked midnights (HORRIBLE for your health) for awhile. My spouse is controlling in some ways and a much stronger personality than me. One big lightbulb that went off for me thru self help, was,  I later realized the two things he couldn't control was my overeating and over spending. I no longer overspend,but, I know the eating will be an issue forever.

You have been through an amazing transformation physically.  Your emotions may need time to catch up.  It sounds like you have a lot of responsibilities and probably not much time to decompress and take care of yourself.  Please find a way to focus on you and what you need even if it is just minutes a day to start.  We hope some of the information in these articles can help you begin to see how far you have come.  Best wishes.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/6-things-i-wish-id-known -about-weight-loss-surgery/

http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/mind-matters-coping-with -change/

http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/mind-matters-put-you-on- your-list/