Please Make it STOP!!!!

I just got off the scale and I am hysterical!  My weight just keeps going up and up and up and I have no idea why.  I cannot go to the doc because my husband and I are both out of work and have no more insurance.  I don't know what to do; I am so miserable.  I am 21/2 years out, my lowest weight was 112 down from 248.  I was too skinny just a year ago.  Everyone told me I needed to put on weight and I was too thin.  I wish I had never listened because I gained almost 50 lbs. since then and now I am at 159.  How could I let this happen????  I hate myself.  I promised I would never gain this weight back, that I would never allow myself to get back here.  Now all my clothes are too tight and the scale just keeps going up no matter what I try.  Not only that, but I am ALWAYS hungry.

I am started to think those who warned me were right.  They saiid everyone who has this surgery gains the weight back eventually.  I disagreed with those people so vehemently and swore to prove them wrong.  Now, here I am, so depressed I don't even want to leave the house.  As it is, I had to deal with all the snickers behind my back at Christmas from the family members who were jealous when I lost the weight and telling me I would gain it all back like everyone else.  Ugggg, I so wanted to prove them wrong.  I feel like such a loser, a failure.

I have tried everything.  I tried eating small, healthy meals every 3 or 4 hours to keep my metabolism going, I gained that week.  Then I tried no eating all day and just having dinner, thinking that would take my calories way down, even though I know not eating slows the metabolism down.  I tried drinking a ton of water and making sure I got in all my protein; that didn't work either.  All I see is the numbers go up, no matter what I eat or don't eat.  I feel like I still barely eat.  I take two bites and I am full.  So, why am I gaining so drastically???  I feel like I have absolutely no control and like I am going to be back at 248 before I know it.  I cannot tell you all how devastated I feel over this. 

You have all always been there for me throughout this whole journey and I know I wouldn't have made it through without my OH friends/family.  But, if I ever needed you, I need you now!  Please tell me what to do. I will try anything.  My next attempt was going to be Atkins.  i used to have pretty good luck with that one, even though I couldn't stay on it past 3 months.  I just want to stop this weight gain in its tracks, before it is too late and the road is too long again.

What really scares me is that I see those who were my inspiration on here going through the same thing.  They were my rocks; and now they sound just as defeated as I do.  Is it just inevitable that we are all going to eventually gain the weight back, no matter what?  Please say it isn't so and tell me there is something I can do to stop this madness.

I appreciate any advice you all have and would love to hear from those who have kept the weight off successfully over more than a 2 year period, as well as from those who are going through the same thing.  Please say some prayers for me.  I just don't think I could take it if I got back to the awful way I looked and felt at 248.

Thanks in advance for your help,
 

I am so sorry you are going through this-it is a huge fear of mine as well. So far I haven't had to deal with gain, but I am always fearing it lurking in the future at some point. I think to a certain extent, and this varies from person to person, our bodies adapt to the malabsorption of the bypass and gain the ability to absorb in spite of it. Back in cave man times you would have been a survivor because the ones who could easily keep weight on survived, the others didn't! However, it sucks when we no longer need that ability in order to survive, but are still stuck with it! The only thing I can suggest is to try tracking everything you eat and drink on a site like fitday.com. It is a real eye opener. Often we just don't realize how many small things we are taking in that add up without you knowing it, particularly carbs and liquid calories. If you are hungry al the time, my guess is you are too high in the carb intake and that just triggers hunger for more. I have also heard that too much artificial sweeteners can also trigger hunger, but I don't know that to be a solid fact, but it is worth thinking about as something you could try eliminating or cutting back on.
I wish you the best and hope for success for you.
-Wanda

Its not true that *everyone* gains it back...but there are some that do. I am only 4 months out so I could be one that gains it back....only time will tell on that. I do know a few people who had this surgery, one is 5 years out and the other is 8 years out. Both are maintaining weight loss but both have told me they are not at their very lowest weight. One was happy to gain a little back (and she is only up 10 lbs from her lowest weight and not overweight) and the other gained back 20 lbs and says she loses 10 and gains it back but she is fine with that.

The only thing I would say is that you need to approach it analytically. You need a journal to keep track of every morsel that goes into your mouth (including water)...any medications you take, your vitamins etc. Also keep track of your exercize and walking. Then you can take all that to a doctor or nutritionist.

You could be a person with metabolic issues and maybe your best bet is to revise to DS, that surgery does boast the best stats so far on long term weight loss.

But overall before you can really decide whats going on....you would need more than a generalized view of what you are doing. You would need precise data.

There is also a possiblity of other physical issues...it seems I have heard of people with stretched stomas and that means everything goes through too fast leaving you hungry very quickly again. I think reactive hypoglycemia can also cause you to be hungry all the time. I do think its rather impossible to fight off ravenous hunger 24-7...that sort of hunger would break anyone down. If thats your issue...I think revision to DS would again be a possible solution for ya.

My advice is this:

1) Breath - As with everything you are human and this too shall pass

2) Pull out your newbie information & post op diet stuff.  Really, really read it.

3) Try the 5 day pouch test to do a reset

4) If you've slacked on a food journal, nows the time to start it again.

5) Try the 10 day plateau buster diet

6) BREATH... Meditate/pray.... 

7) Forgive yourself.  

8) Get up and take a walk.  Everytime the self loathing/hatred starts.  Get your shoes and walk it off.  Channel all that anger, fustration and hurt into pounding the pavement.

9) Contact your doctor.  Explain the situtation with work & no insurance to see if there is a sliding scale they will see you on.

10) BREATH.

11) Support group meetings... go to them if you've stopped.

12) Repeat as necessary.

Remember we are here to support you.  You can do it.  Coming here is proof that you know what you need to do. 

When I started this journey, my #1 obstacle to losing any weight, was stress. I had to let go of it. I know that is easier said then done given the current employment situation your in, but you have to let go of some of it. If you have a plan to look for work and your following that plan, then tell yourself everyday that your not a failure because your out of work, that it is just a sign of the times. Believe in yourself and tell yourself you will be ok. 

I agree with writing your food intake down and being accountable to yourself and others if you choose to share your food journal. Sometimes we "forget" about the little things we "sample" here and there. 

Don't skip meals, it does nothing for you when it comes to losing weight.

Find a support group in your area and connect with them. Find someone in that group who you can assimilate with and ask if you can work together on being there for each other. Also use these great people here for support. These folks will give you the time of day and support if you will support yourself and make a good faith effort to work back toward a healthier you.

No it doesn't have to be that way, regain is possible but its not inevitable, you need to stop it now, whatever it takes if you have to live on Adkins shakes and nothing else, what is more important losing weight or not?  I do sacrifice all the time to keep the weight off, I diet almost every day and am afraid to eat when I do eat for fear of regain, its horrible really but the other choice is giving up.  This is one thing I will never lose at, I will do whatever it takes and you can too.  You were too thin before, so get back to a reasonable weight 130 say and keep yourself there, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

Good Luck
Hugs Heidi

Hi Heidi,  I love your new hair!

Thanks, its my real hair, I am trying to grow it out so I can get it highlighted before I go on vacation next month.  I want super cute blond highlights, usually this is a disaster but we shall see.  lol

Hugs Heidi

Hey Heidi,

I always love your hair.  I had been meaning to ask if you ever get extentions.  I am thinking about getting them again.  My hair is very fine and not so thick since WLS, however, so far I haven't lost any noticable amount.

Do you have really good hair or just a good sense of style and the ability to fix your hair?

I must admit I am a wash and wear girl as far as my hair goes but I would love to be able to achieve the edgier looks you wear so well.  Do you have any products you would recommend for fine hair to give it a lift?

Sorry to have gone so OT but I have been wanting to talk wt you about your hairstyles for a long time!

Thanks!  My real hair is a real night mare, I totally ruined it last year with a bad cut and am starting over once again.  I wear wigs when things are really bad.  I have never had extensions because they are very expensive and I am cheap.  lol lol  Not that I wouldnt like then, and my hair is in pretty good shape now, its grown back thick as it ever was.  I spend quite a bit of time styling it when its short especially, I like the bedhead products and I am using this hair wax now to make the little whispy pieces stick out.  I want to get it rehighlighted before I go on vacation next month, so be on the look out for a new wig if its screwed up.  lol lol

Play around with cut and colour, it really makes a huge difference in your look.

Good Luck
Heidi