People judging us...

Before I had WLS, my parents always judged me, and what I ate.  Recently, since I gained 10 lbs, I'm feeling self conscious and feel that my parents are once again judging me.  My mom and dad are dropping hints about my exercising, and about what I am eating. Then m mom went out of her way to tell me about a friend of ers daughter who had wls a months after me and she got down to 135 and she was heavier than you...

So now I feel like a FAILURE once again!

Any advice?

Helen 

You may need to your Darling Mom to "butt the hell out".  I know it's tough, but it's your life and your
battle, not hers.

Do what you need to do about taking care of yourself.

Hugs, 

I would suggest telling your parents that your weight, indeed anyone's weight, is an off limits topic between them and you. Then be willing to stand by what you say to them- if they bring up the subject, interrupt them and ask them to change the subject. If they don't change the subject, leave the room. Take charge of the interactions with them- you will feel empowered and eat less to comfort yourself.

It takes practice, and you will likely have to repeat yourself many times. You will get exercise leaving the room.

This is what I had to do with each of my parents, and it made a huge difference over time for me. I felt like I grew up for myself. What they said didn't matter so much to me- what I said was what mattered.

Thank you Anne...

Good advice... 

 I did that with my mom as well (years ago).  There were certain things that I put on our list of can't talk about:  my weight, religion and politics.  If she crossed the line, I left the room, or occasionally left the house.   She finally got the message.  

They have always been this way..they mean well, but it's really stressing me out! 

One of the most valuable lessons I've learned over the last couple of years is " people can only make you feel a certain way if you ALLOW it."

I know the battles with parents, and their "good intentions", but at some point, standing up for yourself and not allowing people to make you feel a certain way is the best option for your emotional and mental state. . .

I love my family, but they are not allowed to discuss my weight at all. Grant it, they think I'm too skinny, and that I'm too small, and all that yada yada. I just finally quit allowing them to dictate my reaction and how it made me feel about myself.

EVERYONE in my family is opinionated and vocal.  My sister and I have agreed to avoid certain subjects.  My brother is the absolute worst of all of us.  When he starts telling me how to do something or what to do, I just thank him and say I'd never thought of it and will consider it.  Then I do what I want to do.  He has to have the last word and I let him think he's had it.  It's been so much easier for me when I gave up having to have the last word AND not giving a rat's patoot about what he thinks of me or what I do.  He's lost his power over me and he doesn't have a clue.  It's a good thing:)

Say "Mom, I appreciate the fact that you are concerned about  me, but I would like you to stop commenting on what I eat or how much exercise I do.  Those are things I talk to my surgeon/dietician/personal trainer/whomever about.  I feel uncomfortable when you talk about my progress so please don't do it anymore."

As I read the other replies, I am in agreement.  If this is bothering you than I would certainly encourage you to have a real heart-to-heart with your folks and ask them to stop.

However, as a parent, I will also tell you that until the day we draw our last breath on this earth, we are parents and we remain concerned about the welfare of our children.

When our children were little, we could take them by the hand and pull them to safety when they endangered themselves, yet we cannot do this with our adult children.

We see them headed into danger and we can do nothing but stand idly by as they walk in front of the "bus" we know can likely kill them. 

Please understand that your parent's actions are not meant out of malice, but rather out of love for you.  They have seen the struggles you have endured and they are only trying to pull you to safety before the bu****s.

I lost my mom over 12 years ago and I will tell you that as annoying as she could be at times, I always knew that she had my best interest at heart, and there were times I really should have stopped and heeded her advice...