anyone else get this?

I decided to be completely open to everyone I know about my surgery so they do not feel I am ashamed of doing it. Yesterday I had a pre-op meeting and posted about it on my facebook. What I got was someone who knew me several years ago asking if I am even big enough for the surgery and then saying "I wouldnt do the surgery if I was you its the easy way out, plus you need to have more surgeries to remove the 100lbs of excess fat or more?"

So my question to you guys is this: have you run across people that know so little about the surgeries that they think it is the EASY way out? And if you have, how did you deal with it? Here is what I posted to her ranting to me about I instead need to change my way of life instead of having a surgery, losing the weight naturally (OMG IT IS THAT EASY?!?).

"If this seems like I am mad, I'm not. And if this seems like i am attacking you, I'm not. Just a lot of people who are not informed think the same thing as you. Obesity is not always a CHOICE. I eat and drink healthier than anyone thinks. I do go to the gym and work out. Now, the easy way out? Do you have any clue what one has to go through just to get the surgery done? Then, once the surgery is done do you know the lifestyle changes that are required to maintain the weight and keep it off? The surgery goes off of your BMI. I have been obese my entire life. I was ridiculed by people for being FAT. I no longer care what people think, this is for ME and MY DAUGHTER. I do not want her to grow up seeing her mom unhealthy and miserable because I just cannot lose weight. And no, I can't. I have followed strict diets, I have had personal trainers. It just does not work. I do not drink anything bu****er or the occasional soy milk (less calories and sugars than skim). I fought my own inner demons with having this surgery. I was afraid of what people would think or say. I no longer care! The only people who are not supportive of this are those who are not informed. Just to give you a taste of the diets I was on until recently. I am on a 1000 calorie diet. This includes 2-3 protein drinks a day as a meal replacement and 1 SMALL (toddler size) meal a day consisting of nothing but protein and a non starch veggie. Being as active as I am this diet made me sick. I chose to stop this diet because it was obviously unhealthy, but I did not stop it until after speaking with my surgeon who put me on the diet. He agreed that the diet was not meant for people who would be as active as I am physically and told me I should have told him of my activity and would not have been put on the diet. And guess what, I lost no weight on it either. 2-3 weeks and nothing. I actually gained some muscle but lost 0 fat. So before you judge people, thinking it is the "easy way out", do your research and find out what exactly this "easy" entails that they have to do."

Please tell me what you think about this and if you think I handled it right. I am trying to educate the uneducated and show them this is far from the easy way out.

 Hi, I only read half of ur message but it ****** me off when people think surgery is the easy way out! I can tell you its not easy! Their are many hoops to jump through to get the surgery, no less u never know what hand ur gonna get delt it's a lot. Of work and getting to learn ur self all over again! It's a long road tO learning new things and many great things. COme from being healthy, but u shouldn't care what others think of u, it's always good to hear others out we all have an option but I will tell u from my exspeeience that most people I've come across bash me, they knock weight lose surgery and when they see u lose weigt it gets worse! It far from easy a lot o emotional things come with surgery nothing tht can't be handled but u have to figure out how to weed out the stupid **** people say! I wish you the best and it's a long road but worth it if u need saving and have tried other things that haven't worked.

That is what my responce to her is all about. I just feel bad for those that it DOES effect. So I try to educate those that do not know any better.

What you wrote is fine.  Personally, I would have phrased it slightly differently.  To me, weight loss surgery was the only way for me to lose weight and maintain that weight loss.  I know that was true because I spent the better part of my life on one kind of diet or another.  I would lose perhaps 50 or 60 pounds, and gain it back over the course of the next year or so.

As I grew older, these diets stopped working, and my overall appetite decreased substantially.  I was gaining weight on a diet that ranged from 1000-1500 calories a day.  Clearly, something was off.

So, I did a lot of research, and realized that diet and exercise works for approximately 5% of the population.  For the rest of us, unless we change our physiology, we are condemned to the yo-you effect.  I learned about insulin and glucogen and ghrelin and the role of insulin resistance in establishing a metabolic burn rate.   The ultimate conclusion was inescapable:  to lose a significant amount of weight (80-100 lbs or more) and maintain that weight loss, the only real option is weight loss surgery.

Okay, so that being said... what does weight loss surgery mean?  Well, it's major surgery in which your insides are re-arranged.  It will take months to adjust to a new eating style, and while you are eating at near starvation level, you will somehow have to figure out how to get 60-80 grams or protein and 64 ounces of water in a day.  With RNY, you are committing to extensive vitamin supplementation for the rest of your life.   There is a 30% chance that you will no longer tolerate eating sugars or fats, and that change may be permanent.   The symptoms of dumping are extremely unpleasant.  Many people become lactose intolerant after surgery.  Others develop intolerances to gluten.  Personally, I have become whey intolerant.  All these conditions require constant vigilance to ensure that you do not feed your body something that makes you sick.

Between 1-3 years, your stomach often normalizes and although you still have significant restriction, most people find they can eat just about everything they used to.  It is possible to abuse that restriction if you aren't careful.  It becomes just as difficult as it is for a non-WLS patient to watch what you eat at this point.  The only difference is that if you don't abuse your restriction, you can go back to the simple post-operative rules (protein first... don't drink and eat at the same time... avoid carbs... etc...) and hopefully lose any weight you've regained or at least maintain the weight.

Now, if I needed to nail down a board, I would use a hammer, not my shoe.  Sure, using the hammer is the easy way out, but I'm using the right tool for the job.  I question whether I'd ever get that nail hammered with the shoe.

That's the way I would have put it.

Also, I refer people to the book Why We Get Fat and What to Do About It by Gary Taubes:  http://www.amazon.com/Why-We-Get-Fat-About/dp/0307272702 

What's wrong with doing things the easy way? You drive a car, don't you? Use a washing machine? Telephone? Computer? Electricity?

My daddy always said that all progress came from someone looking to find an easier way of doing something. I think he was right. (*grin*)

And frankly, I wouldn't have chosen to have WLS had I not expected it to be 'easier' than the 'old-fashioned way' of losing weight---because the 'old-fashioned way' was so bloody HARD that I couldn't do it Simply COULD. NOT.

And guess what? For me at least, it has been the "easy way". I don't count calories, or watch---and agonize---over every bite that goes into my mouth. I eat protein first, am mindful of my carbs, and my DS does the rest. I toss back some vitamins and supplements 4 times a day, which turned out to be a very easy habit to form---much, much easier than fighting all day long, every day, to NOT eat the foods I love.

But yes, your 'friend' is pretty ignorant about WLS. Wonder where she got the idea of "more surgeries to remove the 100lbs of excess fat". If I'd known they could do that...(*grin*)

I'm with Ms Batt, easiest 120lb I ever lost and maintaining at 8 years out - never did that the old fashioned way - THAT was always much harder ...

I think the further out you get, the less sensitive you feel about what people say about WLS - I know it doesn't define me or really affect my day to day life much at all these days!

Well - I think you did just fine, and I agree with you that there's nothing about weight loss surgery that is 'easy.'  Then again, I'm not all that fond of any type of surgery.  I'm glad I did it and given the option, yes, I'd do it again.  Easy?  No.

For me, it wasn't so much the "easy" way (although I have to admit, the whole process has been pretty easy for me).  It was the ONLY way, by the time I reached the decision.  It was the last house on the block, a choice made in desperation and hopelessness.  Like you, I had tried everything else, and had resigned myself to being fat for the rest of my (shortened) life, until a friend mentioned that I might think about surgery.  By the time I had the surgery, I was 60 years old and had lost and gained hundreds of pounds.

However, my rebellious side might reply to the "easy way out" comment with:

"GODDAM RIGHT, I took the easy way out!  Wouldn't you?  Or anyone?  The "hard" way doesn't work, and what's this about expecting people to lose weight the "hard" way - there's some kind of moral judgment there.  And by the way, do you wash your clothes by whacking them against a rock?  Do you walk to work?  Do you heat your house with wood you split yourself?  Give me a flippin break." 

I guess the "easy way out" comment pushes my buttons, haha!

Alot of people think this is the easy way out.  What they don't realize is that it is forever and you work just as hard EVERYDAY of the rest of your life as you did before.  Now, you get to see the results of working so hard.

Just ignore the negative folks and do your research.  Remember we are each our own person and things go different for everyone.

Good luck on your lifestyle/lifetime journey.

 Mel:

I wrote a rant during my first  year post-op that was about this very thing. I will repost it and put the link here.