How do I tell him

I had myVSG surgery on Sept. 18 2012. At the time, my boyfriend was in another state, so I had the surgery without his knowledge. Maybe I should have told him, but I instead told him that I was having gallbladder surgery. He's still not here and won't be until August of this year, but we skype often and everytime he sees me he notices how much weight I'm losing. I tell him that it's just eating better and working out but it's not true. Before he went away, we loved eating together, but now that I can't eat more than a few ounces I fear he will notice. Before I get to that point I just want to tell hm that I had the surgery. One problem is however, that he loooves me as a bigger girl so I don't want him to feel like I did it without thinking of him..I think he'll think it was a bad decision. Even if he doesn't, I feel bad sometimes. The most important thing is how to tell him. What do I say?  I've been lying to. him this whole time and I don't want it to mess up our relationship. I love him dearly and I just want to get this off of my chest.

Relationships are about truth and communication.   Your call...

Ironically, That's what his name means in another language.

Time to put on the big girl panties and fess up. If he really loves you it shouldn't change the relationship all tho he does have a right to be somewhat miffed. You aren't married so it's really not his call but it would have been better to just tell him in the first place. Now it's time to step up, let him know and be prepared to hear whatever he has to say about it. Hopefully you two can talk it thru and come to an understanding and stay together. Honestly is always the best policy!

I decided I'm going to tell him on our Friday Skype...just gotta find the words.

Try writing it down until you get it the way you want and then when you skype tell him you want to read him something and then he can comment after you finish. Then be prepared for an honest and open discussion. Good luck girlie!

Best of Luck my Friend, what should be will be.....

I explained my choice lose weight that way and he understood but he was saying he likes curves and didn't want me to get smallsmall, but I don't have control over that anymore.

I'm not sure if our partners really mean it when they say they like us better fat. (or with meat on our bones, soft, cuddly, whatever euphemism they use) I think maybe they're just trying to make us feel better & not hurt our feelings. Which is nice of them, but it can mess with our heads.

I have a feeling you're going to be pleasantly surprised when you tell your honey you had the surgery. You don't have to have a reason why you didn't tell him earlier. We all have our journey that we have to travel as individuals. No one goes down the same path with WLS. What matters is that YOU handle it the way YOU want to. And that could be part of the conversation you have with your sweetie. "I waited until I was ready to tell you."

Keep us updated! Don't sweat this. One day at a time! Much love to you both 

thanks so much