How did you tell your family you were getting WLS in Mexico?

Greetings!

So I don't weigh enough for my insurance to cover surgery (My BMI is 37.1 with no known comorbidities). I'm considering getting a sleep apnea test done just incase, but I really don't think I have it, or have it severe enough that I'd qualify. I would have to gain +20 lbs to qualify, and gaining 3 lbs devastates me enough. Since surgery costs the same amount of money that I make in a year, there's no chance in hell that I can be a self-pay here. So, I'm considering having the surgery in Mexico. I've read some good and some bad things about getting surgery done in Mexico, but overall, I think I'd be willing to do it. The only thing is, my family would think that I was absolutely insane for doing so. I have a history with mental illness, and so my parents would be very upset if I were to do it and would think I was crazy again. I'm 27 years old, so I'm an independent woman who can make her own decisions, but there's no way that this is going to go over peacefully.

I guess my questions are:

1. If you had your surgery in Mexico, how did you tell people, especially the ones closest to you? Did anyone tell you you were crazy?
2. Would this be the sort of thing where you can slip away, and do it covertly? My parents live in a different part of the country and I only speak to them on the phone once every other week or so. I only see them maybe once a year or so. It could go over better when I return safely and have had some success.

Hi 

Do your research, make your choice who and when and they sit them down and share with them your decision and all the information you have gathered.  If you need help finding a surgeon, please let us know at [email protected]

My wife and I had surgery in Mexico at the same time. I told my family everything. My wife didn't tell her parents or brothers and sisters...Now to be fair, they are ALL hypochondriacs and would have had fits.

I'm kinda glad she didn't tell. I didn't feel like fielding 50 calls from hysterical in-laws.

After the surgery she told them we had it but didn't mention we had it done in Mexico.

Yes, you could slip away if you wanted. Two weeks after the surgery I was back at work and felt fine.

Hi! So I read that you went to see Dr. Wilhelmy, so I started reading more about his practice in Mexicali. It seems as decent a place to do this as any. Did you have a positive experience?

Ugh. My parents are going to think I'm insane. I need to decide if I want to tell them or not. I highly doubt they will be supportive. And if they know its on my radar, they are going to want to be a part of the process, and I'd rather they not be. :( I can't win either way. I may be able to just sneak off. They currently pay my cellphone bill because we are on a family plan from when I was a kid, and I wonder if there would be obvious roaming charges. :(

Thanks so much.

YES. We had a VERY positive experience. Everyone there was great. AND it's half the price of doing it in the U.S. I really can't say enough good things about them.

Then don't tell them till you are home.

There might be roaming charges but to honest, we didn't talk on the phone much...maybe once or twice. We got there on a Sunday and were back in the U.S. and on our way home on a Thursday. Do without a cell phone for a few days.

I went to Mexico on October the first of this year.

I told my husband and my mom.

My Surgeon was Sergio Verboonen he was great.

Would do it all over again.

Now that I am home and fine I am telling everyone.

 I also went to Mexico with Dr Wilhelmy, great experience too!    Do you think  your parents will not be  supportive?   If you think they will try to talk you out of  it  then it is probably not a good idea.   You know you can use your cell phone at the hospital  so even if they call  when you are in Mexico they would not even know, just saying. 

I'm pretty sure they won't approve. I think in their minds, they would think that I'm going to some shady, backdoor fake doctor - or - I would get kidnapped by drug cartels. Maybe, if I explained it in just the right way, and got them to listen, they might soften up, but I don't know.

I guess I just can't imagine sneaking away and doing it without them knowing either. It would make me 100 times more nervous, because if something happened, I would be screwed and it would be very humiliating. If, in a very worst case scenario, I were to die during surgery, that would be a horrible horrible way for them to find out.

I think my best guess is to say something like this: 1. My weight has been bothering me for a long time. 2. I'm eligible for weight loss surgery, which has proven to be very effective at helping people lose weight permanently. 3. Surgery in the United States is  not affordable, and my insurance won't cover me for it. 4. There are American born and trained surgeons who practice just a hair below the border, who have hundreds and hundreds of patients who provide nothing but positive testimonials. Low complication rates, hotel stays, drivers, and all that jazz. That's probably my best bet at presenting it. I just need to make a firm decision and not give the impression that my mind can be changed. I'm afraid my mom would want to go with me to make sure I'm safe, but I don't want it to be a big production.

The thing that sucks is that you can't unsay something. Nothing is more permanent than words after they are spoken. Telling them means there is no going back. :(