How to talk with people about my upcoming surgery

sarahannevp
on 5/6/15 9:38 am

I am will be having sleeve surgery this summer. I've talked with family and close friends about the surgery, and they've all been very supportive. I still need to talk with my supervisor and want to share the news with co-workers, but I am afraid that they will be less supportive. I work with marathon runners, vegans, vegetarians...general health-fanatics. I'm afraid some of them will try to talk me out of it. I respect the people in my office and want to be open and honest with them, but I'm just not sure how to go about talking about it with them. Could you offer some advice and let me know how you all shared the news with supervisors and co-workers. Thanks! 

Gwen M.
on 5/6/15 9:45 am
VSG on 03/13/14

Do you need to tell anyone other than your HR department pre-op?  I've told everyone post-op, but the only people I told pre-op were those who needed to know because they'd care if I died in the hospital.  I didn't care to spend time listening to people questioning my choice, so I waited until it was done and couldn't be debated.  

So.. do you need to tell people pre-op?  Or can it wait?

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

chillininiowa
on 5/6/15 4:18 pm

If you surgery date is written in stone, done tell anyone outside of your private circle yet.  I did and my group dropped me before my appointment with my surgeon.  Thought all was on the up and up but now I am totally embarrassed.'

 

sarahannevp
on 5/12/15 2:14 pm

I need to at least be able to explain my two to three week absence from work. I hope to give people at least two weeks notice so that if they need me to do anything for them while I'm gone they let me know before I leave. 

Gwen M.
on 5/12/15 2:16 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

So something like "I'm having a medical procedure that will take me out of the office for 2-3 weeks.  I'd rather not talk about the details."  Or something similar.  Heck, you could even stick to "I'll be out of the office for these 2-3 weeks."  If you need a doctor's note, that only needs to be seen by the person approving your absence.  

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

sarahannevp
on 5/12/15 2:33 pm

I like that very much! I may quote you word for word :)

kbmerritt84
on 5/6/15 11:39 am
with

So for me it was all about confidence.  I was so nervous and didn't want to tell anyone. Then one day something just snapped into place and I thought "f*ck 'em!"  

So I worked it into to conversation.  The VP of our department was talking about his struggles with his new diet and how much he hated it and people were commiserating with him.  I chimed in 'Yeah, I've lost and gained hundreds of pounds. Didn't work for me so I'm having gastric bypass in July and I'm pretty happy about it!"  When questions were asked I explained the research I had done and that my motivations were health related and that was the end of it.  They had enough respect for me to not try to talk me out of it.  I cannot say whether your coworkers will be as respectful of you or not, but I felt really great just saying it and not be embarrassed. 

sarahannevp
on 5/12/15 2:17 pm

Good for you! I'm glad your coworkers were respectful of your choices. I think I just need to make sure that my co-workers understand that they can think whatever they want, but that they must respect that it's my decision to make. Thanks!

Navychic
on 5/6/15 1:08 pm
RNY on 02/09/15

yep, I actually waited till it was already the talk this week to let folks know at work.  If someone says wow you look great, how'd you do it.  I tell them.  I wanted to actually be successful before I talked about it.  I add that Im ready to let people know now, so they don't feel like they have to keep a secret.  Something someone said on this site really hit home with me.  If you have someone else out there who is fighting that same battle I have for so many years, you don't want to add to their stress by letting them think, if she can why can't I by those other routes, diet, exercise, vegan, etc

I guess Im so happy Im ok with sharing it now at 3 mths post op...but before no one knew except the DH.  ;-)

Good luck on your journey, youll love it!!!

I'm Jo   HW 245, SW 236, CW 151 Yeah (Normal BMI!!!!)

M1=213 (-23), M2=201 (-12), M3=186 (-15), M4=175(-11), M5=166(-9), M6=157(-9), M7=153(-4) 

        

    

sarahannevp
on 5/12/15 2:19 pm

I love what you say about letting others who are struggling in on what you're doing so that you don't make it harder for them. Great advise. Thanks!

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