Food Frustration

Whoa!  Way too much emphasis on money/funding....what about things you are thankful about???  Perhaps your new tool??   I do not get any warm and fuzziness regarding you and your family/inlaws.  I can relate to that.  I agree with the folks that suggested your staying home and feeding yourself.

Brighten your mindset or you have a very difficult WLS road ahead.

So---you buy the food, and your MIL prepares it? Seems like you could buy some shrimp that she could boil? Very little work involved in that. Have you asked her to do something like this?

You say this is a 4-day event? Will you be spending all 4 days in your MIL's home? If so, what do you plan to eat for your other meals? Is there some reason you can't eat those foods during the Big Turkey Throwdown? And FYI, there's no reason in the world you can't eat a fried turkey. Fat is not your enemy, and you aren't going to be able to eat more than a couple of bites in any case.

I was exactly two weeks post-op on Xmas Day. My mom did the traditional (at least in our house) turkey with cornbread dressing, green beans, scalloped potatoes, broccoli casserole, yeast rolls, lemon ice box pie, and cherry delight. I enjoyed that meal perhaps more than any previous holiday meal, because I was SO DAMNED GLAD I could eat a few bites of turkey, a couple of bites of dressing, and a green bean or two and feel full and satisfied. I was so full I didn't even WANT the scalloped potatoes, casserole, or dessert.

You've gotten some stern replies, in part because you simply haven't given us any real DETAILS, just thrown a tantrum. Yes, we know you're hormonal right now, but we can ONLY respond to what you TELL us. 

As for the boyfriend/diet thing---you didn't like it when he tried to tell YOU how to eat, so why on Earth do you think he should like it any better? You've been with this guy for at least 7 years, and he's been abusing you emotionally (at least the way you tell it here.) That doesn't make it okay for you to abuse HIM emotionally NOW that you're a reformed diet sinner.

I can understand you're frustrated, just assume from this point forward that your family isn't going to accommodate your dietary needs. Bring the food with you & if you're the only one that eats it so be it. Break out the tupperware & bring the leftovers home. You can excuse yourself from the table & go for a walk if you have to.

Consider this as an opportunity to show your family how serious you are about this, but really anywhere you go either family/friends etc, you're gonna have to adjust & eat foods that fit in with your plan, or better yet, just assume they won't have anything for you to eat & bring your own food. Not gonna speak on the boyfriend thing, its a little bit of crazy right there, just don't fall off the deep end.

My first Thanksgiving I was post op two months from RNY and less than one week from gallbladder removal. I felt sleepy and not like eating.

If I go to a gathering and am concerned there won't be something palatable, I just bring something. I do not expect others to make special accomodation. I am not at all special.

My darling husband eats stuff I never would. That's life.

You are throwing a tantrum and feeling violent because someone won't prepare a special menu for you because you were previously a fatty and took it upon yourself to change and now you expect everyone else to bend over backwards for you. MAKE YOUR OWN FOOD AND TAKE IT WITH YOU. If I told my mother to make me bacon wrapped shrimp and crab imperial along with preparing thanksgiving dinner... That takes a lot of nerve.

Then you are wishing a heart attack on someone because they won't change to what you assume is good for them. I think that is a decision for him and his doctor.

I just have one quick question. Did you have a psych evaluation prior to surgery?

Jesus guys. Calm down. Anger is a big part of overcoming our relationship with food for most people. If people cant vent here, where can they?

My opinion is that she isn't the one who needs to get over herself. Just because there are rules to follow and thoughts that should try to be avoided, doesn't mean everyone stays on that path. People need to be encouraged and lifted up in a positive manner. Not bashed for not being perfect.

Come on guys.

Wishing a heart attack on someone is very uncool. Asking someone to make special dishes on top of a full meal is also uncool and inconsiderate.

Yeah but obviously we all have bad thoughts and anger and jealousy and "what about meeee" thoughts, just a lot of people don't voice them, and feel bad about it later. I'm sure she doesn't really want him to have a heart attack.

I don't know. I've wished for a meteor to hit my ex.

I thought you were hoping she fell into an open manhole while the city is jetting the line.