Amen! I had zero doubts that I would be successful at this and I'm so grateful to the vets on here who have kept me real, through all the ups and downs of the last 15 years.

I will never want someone to pat my hand when I'm messing up, I want my ass kicked by those people who have been here through thick and thin. Those people who have lived with this surgery for a few years and know the pitfalls we face when the first gung ho flush of honeymoon is over!

I can't say I've never seen people be rude or obnoxious - I've been here 15 years after all - but it is not the norm. What is the norm is people coming by every so often and telling us all how awful we all are.

I think it's great that you were confident that you would succeed. I should not have assumed that everyone had the same nagging doubts I did.

I totally agree with you. I don't even respond to the no negative comments or be nice etc etc type of posts. I can't spend my time trying to figure out a posters state of mind when they post & insisting that I frame my answer to something that's acceptable to the op is a losing strategy. People forget that this is the internet. What's said on one end can be interpreted a different way on the other.

If you want truth stay here, if you want hand holding, look elsewhere i.e family/friends.

T - you put that so nicely !

Thank you very much for putting that in writing.

I often skipped responding to people who only want positive and happy responses. Or to tell them nicely that it's not their fault, that the meds made them eat the extra icd cream, or add potatoes to their dish.

As you mention - we all been there. There are few of WLS veterans who had no regain, and have an easy way to maintain. But for majority who maintain, it is a hard work day in and day out. Last night I really wanted an ice cream. Just one. This one time. And I'm at goal, actually below my goal. So technically I could "afford to eat one". Or 5. But I am addicted to sugars. I just got clean from eating up to 2 lbs of hard candies a day, every day. Most days was much less than that, but still.. I was eating hard candies instead of food. Not even realized how many I ate. I still maintained my weight. The thing was, because I kept my sugar stable with one hard candy at a time, allowing it to dissolve in my mouth, I was not eating proteins. Eating proteins hurt my gut. Eating candies - not really. But I am an adult, and I know my body doesn't need candies, needs proteins and fats. Now I eat that. Proper food to nourish my body.

Some people I know IRL look at me and see someone with a severely restricted eating.

I tell them I can't eat some things. Because normal population doesn't get that like with a drug addiction, I can't have something once in a while. I would want that all the time. And I also developed food allergies. Today I am dealing with a severe migraine and stomach upset, horrible GERD. I couldn't think of anything I ate that caused that. Then I remembered the brownies bites. I had 3 of them, or 4. No wonder my gut is on fire now. I know I messed up. And 3 small pieces of chocolate I got as a gift. I am paying a price for eating that. But only because my eating has be really clean and nice last 2-3 weeks. So the chemicals, milk proteins and grains in the items I had yesterday is messing me up. Big time. I opened the flood gate, and I want more of that foods. I want that chocolate ice cream I know we have for my guy. I can see it in my mind. Its exact shape and position in the freezer.

So just because at 11.5 years post op I am maintaining and below my weight goal, it doesn't mean I don't get it. I do, more than you think.

So funny, yet so sad and true. I'm hypoglycemic. I know when my blood sugar drops I will get cranky, jittery, anxious, weak and feel terrible! The very simple solution for me? "duh, just don't eat sweets and processed carbs dummy!" Yet, again and again I find myself eating the wrong foods and like many, once I start I cannot stop. And so here I am typing with cookie crumbs falling between the keyboard keys. (left over Christmas delicacies!) Why? Like a drug addict, food addicts go though the same thing, except a drug addict can abstain completely and forever from that drug. We cannot abstain completely from food. (Sweets I guess we can)

5 years out, and still making the same mistakes. Yet, they are fewer and far in between, and I'm learning a lot about myself-that I'm not too bright when it comes to eating and health! So this forum helps me a lot, just reading of others, their struggles, anxieties, wins, losses, etc. The ONE thing we all had in common was that we could not lose weight.... correction..... MAINTAIN weight loss (I've lost weight more than 100 times!) And even now with the tool, it's not easy. Left to my own I am uncontrollable, but thank goodness for the tool because it hems us into a parameter so to speak, so that we can catch ourselves, and make adjustments and corrections before we go too far. Still there is the scary reality that some still gain all their weight back, even more, misusing and abusing it!

"...correction..... MAINTAIN weight loss (I've lost weight more than 100 times!) And even now with the tool, it's not easy..."

You are really correct... with a small correction "And even now with the tool, it's not easy.." For some of us, getting the surgery made is easier to maintain and re-lose a regain. Seems that for some of us its much easier than others.

I wonder why. I am also hypoglycemic, and not only that, like you I deal with a reactive hypoglycemia. But when I finally got to the bottom of why I am hypoglycemic, and was able to medicate that, plus exposed my body to more sugar over time, I am doing much better.

I wonder why for some of us it is easier to maintain than for others. There is more and more research in obesity and hopefully smart people would help find answers.

This YouTube video is very interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88tWJ1p5d4o

And this guy also published a book about that.

"Giles' book "Gene Eating: The Story of Human Appetite" - https://geni.us/jnNxw0p "It is clear that the cause of obesity is a result of eating more than you burn. It is physics. What is more complex to answer is why some people eat more than others? Differences in our genetic make-up mean some of us are slightly more hungry all the time and so eat more than others. Giles Yeo explores how, in contrast to the prevailing view, obesity is not a choice. People who are obese are not bad or lazy; rather, they are fighting their biology."

I got the audio of this book but I hadn't yet listen to it. There re some sweets that I have little control over. But they are 100% polish, made and sold in Poland. Thankfully I only can get them once in a while, i.e. - as a gift for Christmas. The gift was for both of us, my guy and me, but I told him I am not sharing. If he really wants 1 or 2 candies, of course I would give that to him, but with something like that, Keith is so wonderful that he seldom ask me to share when for him, it's not a big deal, and I make sure he have a lot (like a LOT ) of sweets he likes. I put "A lot", because he is one of the normal people who won't eat it all...and can have a bite or 2.. and leave the rest. After my RNY - over the years, for more and more things - I am like that also.

Watch the video when you get the chance. Interesting.

I did listen to him about a month ago. Very interesting? He makes a lot of sense.

My son at 12 years old is fighting obesity. He's extremely active and while his friends appear to eat much more than he, he's the one gaining! He's weighs 50 lbs more than them, he's also 6 inches taller. at 5'10" and over 200 lbs in 6th grade' although he's a gentle giant he loves to eat constantly-and of course-hates healthy food!

There is a lot of new development about intestine bio-dome (bacteria, and other stuff in our gut) and the relationship between that and general health, including obesity, addictions, diabetes, immune system, allergies, autoimmune issues and even mental issues like depression, bi-polar, OCD, even autism and schizophrenia... just to mention some really critical.

There are finding links between antibiotics used in infancy to metabolic disorders...

I may have a better hold on my food addictions when I am actively working to improve my bacteria + yest + other stuff in my intestine. Seriously.

I was given a lots of antibiotics as a child, and I was interested in that for a long time. I do have candida overgrowth, and i tested positively for that a very long time ago. Unfortunately, I can control it, but not really eradicate. Same as SIBO that I probably had for a very long time, but it became apparent and out of control post op RNY.

Candida is a nasty stuff... and it can cause so many issues, and for me personally - I crave sugar and alcohol like crazy when that stuff is going crazy. It feeds on sugar and carbs.

I have a great gastro and he is helping me to keep it controlled.

After my appetite and cravings go crazy, and I start eating things that normally I don't because how that can hurt my insides, I know i need to get things under control. I use natural stuff and Rx to try to keep it controlled.

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapediatrics/fullarticle/ 1909801 Original Investigation November 2014

Association of Antibiotics in Infancy With Early Childhood Obesity

L. Charles Bailey, MD, PhD^1,2; Christopher B. Forrest, MD, PhD^1,2; Peixin Zhang, PhD¹; et alThomas M. Richards, MS^1,3; Alice Liv****s, BS¹; Patricia A. DeRusso, MD, MS^1,2 Author Affiliations Article Information