Jealousy

I feel like I've made this post before, who knows, I might make it again in the future.

Sometimes I find myself getting really jealous when I read posts that say, "I lost all of my excess weight in a year!" And then see that this means they lost 90-100 pounds because they weren't SMO like I was.

Pretty sure there's no possible way I could have lost all of my excess weight in a year. But, I don't know, when I read statements like that it just bugs me. Like it sets up an unrealistic expectation for people who don't look at the actual number entailed.

And it makes me a little jealous. I'm three years out and still plugging along. Sometimes I wonder where my loss would be if my dad hadn't developed brain cancer, but that seems like a waste of time to think about since he still had cancer and would be super unhealthy now if he were still alive.

My surgeon is super happy with me. He's thrilled that I'm still losing at 3 years post-op. Most people aren't. I'm almost 20 pounds under his goal for me. I'm only 18 pounds from "normal."

And, yeah, I'm still jealous of people who had so little to lose that they were able to do it all in one year.

I wouldn't call it jealous- but I don't consider them on my level. I generally pay less attention to folks 250# and lower starting out. Its a totally different beast IMO.

On the flip- I sometimes feel like my (ever elusive) goal is higher than what most strive for and I'm 'judged' for that. Add in the fact that I'm happy @ 195 that makes me feel like some oddball who is settling.

I also have 175 on my ticker as my goal weight because even though I don't have a specific goal weight I figured there's no way it would be less than that. When I filled out the orientation forms and they asked for my goal weight I wrote "anything that starts with a one". Now...who knows... I have no idea how far I'll go but I'm confident I would be pretty happy at 195 too.

Peach, you are a beautiful woman who can run an under 12 minute mile... You are awesome! No oddball.

I knew I wanted to be under 200lbs. I picked 170 as a random goal. After Bodyfat testing I upped my goal to 189... Once I hit 195 I said I would take it 5lbs at a time. After being MO *****ally knows what a good weight is until you get there....

Aww- thanks. I'm all over the place with what I want. Too much outside 'noise' is influencing my state of flux. Best thing for me to do right now is not make any decision one way or another- until I can hear just my inner voice.

Face it this is a mental journey as well... That is why once I hit 195...I started with the "OK- 5lbs at a time...because who the hell knows? amirite?

You will figure it out!

I can relate. My low weight is so many people's highest weight. I have to tell myself I am better off now than I was at 365lbs. But I do get sad sometimes because I am still fat after all the weight loss. I have accepted I'll never be skinny. I am happy I am so much better now than before. It's been 13 years and I've kept most of the weight off . I have an awesome husband and family and good job. It definitely could be worse.

Yup.

In addition, when I see posts about the honeymoon phase, I worry because I know I physically can't get to goal in that time, and so, what does that mean for me?

i agree with peach, in that our road is very different from those who start out in the 250 range. Most of the time I'm able to keep perspective, but every now and then, it gets me bummed.

im always balancing between how far I've come, and how far I have to go. That's why I try to focus more on my small goals, and treat the rest as background noise.

Most of the time.

I think the honeymoon phase is a myth - I have to believe that. I'm always going to have restriction, right?

I think it's just a honeymoon in that it's when you're most dedicated since you're losing quickly and getting lots of compliments and reinforcement. But it doesn't mean that we've got to stop losing weight when at the end of our first year.

Heck, I'm proof of that!

I think you're right. I kept losing in year 2. I only stopped because I bumped up my calories (my PCP wanted me to stop). I probably could have kept going a bit more. Other than the first few weeks when your stomach is really swollen from the surgery, I think a lot of the honeymoon phase (not all - but a lot) is due to the fact that you're a lot more dedicated during those first few months.