7 Years Out & BIG Weight Regain - HELP!

I had my DS in April 2005. I had some complications but bounced back and eventually ended up weighing 117 pounds (starting weight 326 lbs). That was way too scary-skinny for me and I felt like death all the time. My surgeon told me if I got down to 110 lbs. I would have to get a revision.

My weight stabilized at about 123 - 125 lbs. I bought a whole wardrobe of skinny clothes and never had to worry about what I ate, as long as I got plenty of protein, which I did. I was sick a LOT of the time - up through the night most nights on the toilet with more or less chronic diarrhea, but at least I was skinny, right?

In my 4th year out from surgery I upped my vitamins (some of my labs were a little iffy) and slowly began to put on weight. Everybody told me I looked great, I had been too thin before. I was feeling better physically, but my weight started to go up exponentially as I felt better.

Now I feel good physically - sleeping better, far fewer gut-aches, I can eat pretty well (still not as much as I want). Two years ago I started trying to avoid sugar because I was back up to 140 lbs. I thought that was as high as I could go with this surgery - ha.

This time last year I was horrified because I weighed 152 lbs. I would give anything to weigh that now. This morning I weighed 172.5 lbs and I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. I am embarrassed to let any of my relatives see me, because the last time any of them saw me I weighed 130 lbs (and was embarrassed even then at my weight regain).

I still eat lots of protein - I've never had a problem with that - but I am definitely addicted to fast food, and I eat occasional sweets as well. Physically I feel GREAT - until I look in the mirror and see how huge I look again. This is really messing with my head - I am a veteran and I was just awarded 50% disability from the government for service-connected post-traumatic stress disorder. So I have anxiety and depression stemming from that and food is (and always has been) my drug of choice. None of my clothes fit me and I am extremely self-conscious walking my dogs around my neighborhood, even though I need the exercise. I have been walking them less (letting my long-suffering husband do it) and making sure I only walk them in the very early mornings or after dark.

I don't know what to do about this. My obsession with my weight gain and appearance is starting to get on my husband's nerves and it is messing up my quality of life in a major way. I feel like this is out of control and I don't know where it will end. With my DS and all that I went through with it, I never dreamed in a million years I would ever be this fat again. I get all my medical care through the VA and I probably could get some kind of a revision if I wanted one, but I am 52 years old, happily married (except for this issue!) and my original surgery almost killed me. I don't know if I want to go under the knife again.

Can anybody give me any advice or encouragement? I am getting into a very bad place mentally and I need help.

Sorry this is so long! Thanks for reading (if you got this far) -

Morganna

 I hope you can find help with all the stress and food addiction issues causing your weight gain. You cant do it all alone without the support of professionals.  Are you curently having counciling with any professionals? Dealing with "head hunger" is a special issue which can derail anyone from WLS success. I have heard some antidepressants cause weight gain, but Wellbutrin decreases  appetite. Before I considered more surgery, I would seek the help of a psycologist first, or other psyc specialist. Have your PCP refer you. Best wishes, hope you find your way back on track.

Sandra  ;-)

Thank you Sandra, I have been prescribed a LOT of meds recently for the PTSD (Zoloft, Xanax, Ambien) and I am trying to slowly and carefully wean off them, especially the Ambien. My weight really seemed to skyrocket when I started taking all those medications.

I think I got to be 326 lbs in the first place using food to medicate my symptoms. Thankfully I have a big VA medical center not far from where I live, and I am going there Tuesday to see if I can start seeing someone for these issues. I agree I need to be under the care of a professional, and not just for my weight issues.

Thanks!

Morganna

Warning:  tough love ahead

 I am extremely self-conscious walking my dogs around my neighborhood, even though I need the exercise

Get over it. 

There are tons of ppl who walk and weigh lots more than you. Start small and try to increase every other day or so as you are able.  You'll be amazed at how much it will help with the depression. I had a friend who went to a shrink for years but it was exercising that finally turn things around for her. I bet you'll be amazed.  Then, as Sandra said, if your still having a problem, don't hesitate to get help.

but I am definitely addicted to fast food,

You got to be kidding me, you're smarter than that.

Best of luck, check back in often to update us.

I think the self-consciousness comes because my neighbors watched me melt down to nothing and they were all so complimentary when I was so thin. Now it seems they watch me from the windows and say nothing (probably my imagination, I realize that and I do need to get over myself but it's hard).

I think I got addicted to fast food because after my DS I cannot bear the smell of food cooking in the house - I get terrible gustatory rhinitis, even now. I also hate going to grocery stores and being surrounded by food, so I don't shop much. It's so much easier just to run out and grab something quick and then not have leftovers to deal with etc. I've got to work on this, I know. If I try to take it all on at once it seems overwhelming so maybe I need to deal with one issue at a time.

I will check back as I go on with this, and I appreciate the tough love. Thanks!

Morganna

How long is your common channel?  The constant dhr is very common with short CC's, and I get it when I eat too many of the simple carbs and simple sugars.  Cut the junk food and fast food, and get back to healthier choices.  I mentally weigh every "junk" purchase I might pick up when I'm grocery shopping, if I'm in a junk mood.  I can't tell you how many times I've put back that half gallon of ice cream, and opted for a 32 oz  container of plain Greek yogurt, and made it taste like vanilla ice cream when I got home. 


I would KILL to be 152 without plastics!  I'm stable at 165, 5 more pounds to pre-plastics goal, and after removal of the thigh skin and adhescient fat deposits, I will be in the neighborhood of 145-150.

My doctor limited me to pre-plastics loss of no more than 160 for that reason. She said I truly have a large frame, and because I'm an extreme pear shape (most of my weight in hips and thighs), any lower and I would look emaciated on top. I started my DS journey at 405 pounds, 397 on surgery day.

I'm not a doctor or health care professional so what I'm saying in this post is not a prescription, but it works for me:
Exercise in the outdoor air is good!  My exercise of choice is swimming and warm water pool exercise, due to lupus and fibromyalgia.  I do take brisk strolls around my apartment complex, and that helps me tremendously!  I am also in grief counseling, as my Mom passed last month, but I have other issues that are coming to the surface that I will deal with as well, perfectionism and self-acceptance being the other issues I'm most concerned about.
Taking care of your mental health is just like taking care of diabetes or a heart problem.  Or the DS. 

Next time you go past a Krispy Kreme, and you see the "hot" sign, go through the drive thru, get a coffee and exactly *two* hot glazed doughnuts.  I have used that to kick start myself from a stall before.  Also, extra dry calcium might help firm things up a bit for potty time.  Dry calcium is like cement!  I think we could probably eat chalk and get the same effect, but I'm not recommending that at all!

I was 51 and on Social Security Disability when I had my DS.  I think I've read that the general cutoff for that is 65. If your CC needs to lengthened or shortened, I think you'll be fine, but really work the non-surgical methods to get back on track as hard as you can. Go back to basics from when you were freshly post-op.  do more shakes than food, and that might kick-start your weight loss as well. 

Hope things get better for you. 

Thank you so much for your reply, I appreciate it!

My common channel was created at 75 cm. The issue with diarrhea has slowed way down, which is why I don't look so ghostly and skinny anymore. It did seem to slow down when I upped my calcium supplements, but that's when my weight began to creep upwards as well.

How do you make plain Greek yogurt taste like vanilla ice cream? That sounds like something I need to know :)

I'm like you in that I am also an extreme pear shape - great big butt and thighs, I've always carried much of my weight there. I still look kind of "normal" on top, but my butt looks like it did pre-surgery (to me) and my thighs are gigantic. I can't believe in 2008 I was wearing size 6 jeans, because now I'm just barely squeezing into size 16s. And yet I remember a time when I would've given anything in the world to be able to wear size 16 jeans. Before my surgery I couldn't even squeeze into size 26. So, as my husand says, "it's all swings and roundabouts".

Looking at your stats, you have done GREAT. I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's passing - I was very close to my mom and she's passed now too. Perfectionism and self-acceptance - I can relate to both of those issues. I would really, really like to get myself back on track - or at least stabilize my weight somewhere below 170 pounds - without having to resort to further surgery. I'm only 5' 3 1/2" tall, but my surgeon's goal weight for me was 170 lbs. I don't know why she set it so high, because that seems like such a lot for someone as short as I am (and I have a petite bone structure too).

Anyway, thank you so much for your encouraging reply, I really appreciate it! And again, my condolences on your mother's passing. And best of luck to you with your plastics!

Morganna

Morganna-

Plain Greek yogurt, vanilla extract and Nevella w/probiotics (type of sucralose sweetener).  I don't measure, just do everything to taste but I guess 1/4 teaspoon of extract per 8 oz serving is a good starting point. You can use your sweetener of choice, I just happen to like this stuff cause it's like Splenda, and it has built-in probiotics.  It's very hard to find, but when I do, I stock up!

Just put it all in a dish and stir, you can freeze if you want, but I just eat it after stirring.

As for jeans, I'm into "easy fit" 12's right now.  I know what you mean about the butt and thighs.  That's mostly skin for me, now, but it still weighs plenty, and is keeping me from my own personal goal of 140-145.

Thank you so much for your reply - I will definitely pick up some plain Greek yogurt when I next go to the grocery store. I have never heard of Nevella w/probiotics, I'm off to Google it right now :)

Even when I was at my skinniest I was still embarrassed to wear shorts because of all the skin hanging off my thighs :( Now I wouldn't be caught dead wearing them, or a swimsuit, I am just really, really self-conscious.

I'm sure you are going to look AMAZING once you get your plastics! I hope you post some pics, I look forward to seeing them :)

Have a great Memorial Day,

Morganna

Morganna-

Not just looks, I can stop taking so many antibiotics because I won't have to worry about cellulitis! Compression garment goes bye-bye!

Many folks have asked me about the scar factor, and I'll admit, I don't scar well, but I'll trade the scarring and all it takes to keep it in check, for the extra skin, any day! People don't understand how uncomfortable it is, (even though it is my own skin! - ha-ha!) I only wear shorts and shorter skirts around the house.


It's a scary sight, I tell ya!