The age old adage "If you don't have anything nice to say. Then don't say anything at...

 

I can totally relate to your post....and from someone who used to post and ask questions, I had taken a back seat because of the negative attacks that where not called for. I can totally understand people not wanting to sugar coat things, but there is a difference between giving your honest opinion in a respectful way, and attacking someone and making them feel bad. All of us here at some point has been bullied or made fun of because of our weight...or have received negative responses from family, friends or peers for making the decision to get WLS... The last place you would expect to feel attacked is on a WLS forum. 

I hope the few, that is making this forum a negative place will look at themselves and question why they are doing it, and allow us who want to be able to share our highs and lows have this place without fear of being judged...

I wish nothing but the best for everyone, no matter where you are in the process....

ps: I find it sort of sad, that certain people have taken this post, and turned it into yet another opportunity to spread negativity... I really hope that you can find out what is eating your soul! 

Thanks for the post Cuter_w_Curves..... We reep what we sew..... I am a true believer in Karma!!!!

 

good post CWC. 

If perfect's what you're looking for, then just stay the same.

Thanks for posting Shell. Glad to hear from you on here.

Thank you CWC for the post.  As a newbie and just 10 days out from surgery, I too have been lurking in the background afraid to ask some questions due to the tone of some of of the responses.  I can appreciate that it must be frustrating for the "old timers" when we newbies slip up in ways that you can't understand but we are here to LEARN to habits.  If we were successful from the get go we would have been able to do this on our own.  

I would also remind those who appear to spout negativity that you too were once a newbie  and had to LEARN you new habits so ease up and give us a break, we are human and we make mistakes!  We're looking for help and support.

I have really enjoyed your past posts as I spend a lot of time looking back at older threads to see if I can get answers to my questions as I have not been comfortable asking them publically and I thank god for my Angel as she has been able to help as well.

That being said, I do enjoy the 90% of positive posts out there and when I come across a negative one, I just move on as that's not what I'm on here to get.  

Thank you again and look forward to any future posts you care to share!

 

 

Perhaps as we go through this process, we all learn to say "no". It's important to be able to do so and I admire Shell being able to say no, I'm not doing this right now. This is good. Way to go. It's not just about food. It's a mindset.

I have a bit of a different view on this whole topic. My career is based around social media and online forums just like this one. I've been doing this for 15 years now; if you can think of a topic, I've probably moderated an online forum surrounding it. The reality is, people find it very easy to forget that there's a human being on the other side of the keyboard - and everyone thinks they're an expert.

My opinion, personally, is this: I don't have all the answers. I'm one person on a journey that others have been down - sort of. Each of us has our own journey, with our own twists and turns. Who am I to judge someone else's journey? If something works for you, then it works for you. It doesn't have to work for me or anyone else. I also think that there are some people who just aren't happy unless they feel superior to or better than someone else, which is really a shame. We're all trying to end at the same goal: healthiness and happiness. Why not support each other along the way?

I think that anything that makes you feel bad, or sad, or angry, or whatever, needs to be considered. Is it worth staying in a situation that's making you unhappy when you're dealing with much bigger things? Of course not. I think each of us is coming from a unique place, and I can totally understand and respect why you needed time away. I actually respect that a hell of a lot because I've seen MANY people stick around and turn mean/ugly. Good for you for knowing your boundaries!

I think it'd be great if you stuck around, for what it's worth. :)

I can for sure say I'm one of the people who feel attacked here, just a few days ago actually last thurs I started opti felt overwhelmed as I had only learned I'd be having surgery may 30th, I posted that I had slipped and cheated day 1, Then someone posted (which made me feel awful) I only posted because I needed encouragment not a lecture so to speak and no to get off line crying frustrated with myself and upset (which I did) thought this place was for support or atleast that's what a dr told me. Kinda made me feel like crap and a failure! And yes I did feel attacked because it didn't stop it continued. Great for someone who has no self esteem that's for sure.

Leeann you aren't the first nor will you be the last to go off track on opti.  It happens.  If you don't feel good or safe posting something on the main forum then pick a few people on here who you value their opinion and friend them and try sending them a private message.  That will save you from being attacked by some people who just don't have a clue how they are coming across.  Good luck on your journey!!  You will do amazing!

The number of people who got where I am coming from is possibly one of the best presents I'll get all day.

Some of you said things I couldn't touch upon due to time, and some said things that added so much emphasis to what I was trying to express. Thank you for your posts. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being the lovely souls you are.

I know some don't get where I was coming from with this and that's ok also. I am very glad that they haven't seen it or been touched by it.

Changing how we think and how we live should always incorporate that which was good in us. We need to truly learn to accept that we are all human, and learn to really love ourselves. It is so very important to do that.

Shell