Insight

Hey ya'll. You guys know I'm 8days post op, and I'm learning something new about myself every hour of every day. Back when I was on the pre-op diet (Mar 14-21) I was able to realize how many times a day I ducked into the kitchen for a can of iced tea, or a handful of crackers, cookies, or a "nibble" of last night's dinner, or even healthy snacks - made UNhealthy by the fact that I was eating them even though I wasn't hungry. That was kind of upsetting, because I never thought of myself as a chronic overeater. But I was able to see how much I ate out of boredom, or just because it was THERE to be eaten.

This morning, I went to the grocery with my husband. I am a TOTAL FOODIE to the core, so a trip to the grocery is a HUGE deal for me. When I went today, I saw how much fat and calories I had been loading into our cart - weekly. Our bill was almost $100 lower today, with no cookies, candy, soda, ingredients for sauces and baked goods - but we still got PLENTY of fruits, veggies, vitamins, soups and protein items for me, fresh lean meat, and stuff for the kids' lunchboxes. The cashier gave us the total and my husband looked at me like I was crazy. Like, "What have you been DOING with all the grocery money?!"

Then we went to walmart this evening. Let me clarify what "walmart" meant to me before - it meant getting whatever sundries we needed, but it also meant a stop by the bakery for a pack of mini cupcakes or a slice of cake, some hummus from the deli (with pita, of course), a rotisserie chicken, or a side trip to McDonald's for a cone or a cheeseburger for a snack before bed. I wouldn't eat all of it in a NIGHT, or even a few nights, but it was ALL unneccessary. We got what we needed, (even got the kids some toys for getting excellent report cards, so some extra things) and we got out in almost NO time, and for less than $20. I was embarrassed again.

I just see so many things in my bevavior and my mindset changing - so much EXCESS. I'm so happy I had my surgery. I'm glad to have you guys here to listen to me and UNDERSTAND what I'm talking about. That's PRECIOUS to me.

You know it is funny, I am sure a lot of us have had this revelation as well.

Don't be surprised if you find yourself cutting back in other areas as well.  Once I recognized all the areas of 'excess', I cut back in other areas as well. 

It is just stuff after all and once you are really living your life, the way it should be lived, it just seems less important.

I was just embarrassed, and realizing how much damage I'd done to MYSELF. Not that I ever thought it was anybody else's fault - I'm responsible for what I eat. But just to realize it like that. It was hard to come to grips with.

I was always a pretty self aware person in many ways, but now when I look back at the way I used to eat and delude myself I am kind of shocked. I've had these insights too, and a million more. Keep noticing them, keep working through to understand them more deeply. This kind of burgeoning self-understanding is one of the other gifts of surgery.

I had a moment at dinner where I was reconciliing how much harvest potatoes to put on a plate vs how much harvest potatoes is/was an actual SERVING. So, a MOUNTAIN of potatoes vs 1/3 CUP of potatoes. You eat with your eyes first, so if there were four items in our meal, that plate needed to be "DIVIDED" into four sections, and each section needed to be FULL of food - you can't see the plate. If there isn't room for a roll or a biscuit and butter/jelly, ADD a bread plate. I hope I have caught this time in time and not taught my children a lifetime of bad habits. They are at "normal" weights right now, at ages 5, 7 & 10, so I know I have time to reinforce GOOD habits. 

 Oh yeah...

When I went shopping for dinnerware all those years ago, I remember evaluating the dishes for "livability". I remember finding a lot of the cereal bowls way too small and the dinner plates too. As part of the exercise to get my head in line for portion sizes, I used a big measuring cup of water to find out how much would fit in to those bowls - ZOMG! Way to much! And worse, I ordered pasta bowls that turned dinner plates into a reservoirl so I could add height and therefore volume! 

I bought these lovely little white square plates that are probably 5x5 with a very low lip and that is what I use now. I love them. Last night, I put a quarter cup of baby spinach on one of those plates, with 2 oz smoked lake trout and 5 mini grape tomatoes all sliced up with a drizzle of balsamic. I looked at that and thought it looked WAY TOO HUGE. I didn't end up eating it all.

It's astounding what in your brain changes after surgery. There are lots of challenges in the futurewhen the amount I can eat changes and my body adjusts where I know I will face those issues again. Right now it's nice living a reality that includes those practices. It is helping my brain understand what is possible... so that i have mental tools to fight those challenges in the future.

Cheers!

~Mo

I'm about 5-6 weeks post op and am sooo amazed at how much less it costs to feed me now, lol!  I'm the only one living here besides the pets, so it had to be me who was consuming all that stuff....you can bet the pets weren't getting any unless I accidentally dropped something. 

Pre-surgery I had some concern about how much it would cost for vitamins/supplements and protein supplements along with high protein foods.....I need not have worried...doing the right thing is saving me a good deal  of money and making me healthier. 
Lizzie