Like a lot of others, I too am terrified

I don't think that I have posted this already but my surgery is next Monday April 30th!  Yesterday I had my pre-op ultrasound, testing and final weigh in.  I started on February 9^th at 267.7.  March 9^th I was 256.8.  The scale came in yesterday at 243.0.  I have been super strict for the most part about my diet but I haven’t really been exercising much.  I was however fully renovating a new apartment that I just moved into for the past month.  I got the final confirmation that everything was good and that my surgery is moving on as planned.  I have been completely ecstatic about this since the beginning of this journey but for some reason this week all I have been doing is freaking out and second guessing this.  Yesterday made it really worse.  I started to think “damn, if I can lose 24lbs. in just 2.5 months on my own without exercising much again then why don’t I just do it the old fashioned way?"  I try to remember the countless diets I have tried and the fact that once I lose a significant amount of weight it always slowly starts to creep back up.  I just can’t stop thinking about how I am changing my anatomy forever and I can never go back.  I can never change my mind.  I want my quality of life to be so much better.  I want to stop getting made fun of by kids in the waiting room at the hospital or in restaurants and so on.  I just want to be healthy and happy but I can’t stop worrying that this isn’t the right decision.  I know it’s normal to feel like this so close to surgery but it’s so hard to remember that I am not the ONLY person going through this.  How the hell do you snap yourself out of this funk?  I was in a much better place just last week!

It is normal to be worried.  You should be very very proud of your losses so far.  That is great and those habits will help you continue once you have surgery.

Good luck. Post often.  You willl get lots of support.

Oh this is all normal stuff. As the date gets closer, this becomes very real (whereas before it was real but still a possibility too...now it is actually going to happen!).

It's ok to be afraid. It's ok to freak out. The best thing to do in my opinion, is what you are doing and that is talking about it.

Hi! I just wanted to say that I would be surprised if you didn't feel that way!! I just got my approval as well, my surgery is May 21. I am considered a lightweight for wls and so many have questioned me because they have no idea what my story is. I too have been able to lose weight in the past. My major issue is maintaining. I want off the roller coaster of success/failure. I have two beautiful daughters whose self esteem I do not want to damage by witnessing the endless diets and depressions!!! I believe this is my last stop on the gain train!! I considered being sleeved but the decided that I would do roux because I wanted the best odds for me and being a sweet eater I feel it is my best choice. If you are afraid of permanently changing your anatomy, maybe you should consider sleeve? At least then your intestines would remain the same. Think about what it took to get you where you are and most of all pray!!!! Best wishes on whatever you choose to do. God will help you, pray

 
We have the same surgery date... Good luck!   I hope you have a speedy recovery and much success!

I had my surgery three weeks ago and I felt the exact same way. I had no problems up until the few days before the surgery...that is when reality set in. I have not had any other major surgery and hospitals give me the creeps just visiting.

I will say that everything went better than expected. I was treated very well by the hospital staff and the recovery went well. I was back to work  the second week after my surgery (desk job).

Hang in there...you'll look back on this and be glad that you stuck with it.

This is normal. The first few weeks after surgery you will likely have significant buyer's remorse. You'll hate the liquids and the proteins and the purees and the calcium and the vitamins.  You'll worry that you aren't losing fast enough or that you aren't loosing at the same rate others are losing. 

I can almost guarantee at a month out, you'll be so happy you did it :-)

Best of luck and speedy recovery to you!

 The worst part of the surgery for me was the worrying prior. It truly was a piece of cake- from the recovery through now. You will do awesome!

Everybody has doubts. Most think...I lost this much without surgery....I can do it by myself.......if you can do it by yourself.....why haven't you done that already? This surgery IS life altering and the best thing that I have done for myself. I have a friend that was going through all the pre-op diet, counseling, etc. at about the same time that I was. She lost about 40 lbs. and decided to do it on her own. She told me yesterday that she wishes she hadn't "chickened" out because she now weighs about 50 lbs more than she did 2 years ago!! She is SO envious of me and wishes she had gone through with surgery. Good luck on your journey ! You can do this !!

You'll do fine.   I know it's a scary thing to think about not being able to eat what and when you want or having to deny yourself.   I had my original RNY in 2004.  I was/am food obsessed and was very scared thinking I would go crazy if I couldn't have cookies or chips, etc.   Well, long story short, I won't say I never had cravings for those foods, I did, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle.   The decision was not there anymore.  I couldn't eat those things so I didnt' have that internal fight with myself every day.   I got used to eating what I was allowed, and when the weight dropped and I could walk and be active and I looked and felt better, there was no amount of cookies or chips that felt as good as that.  

Over the years I developed some problems.  My stoma closed up and a fistula formed into my old stomach (which was never cut!).   I found I could eat whatever I wanted and I did.  I gained weight rapidly and felt miserable with myself and was once again a slave to food.   I sought out a good surgeon and had my surgery repaired in January.   I will tell you this, I had NO hesitation going through this a second time.  I feel blessed that I've been given the opportunity.   So, what you are feeling now is normal, but you will be OK with it afterwards.  Just take a leap of faith.   All will be well....