anyone feel like i do

I am a few weeks away from my one year anniversary for my surgery. I have gotten down to 187 and honestly I look in the mirror and feel disgusted I still feel like the fat girl. My weight loss has oddly been synonymous to my loss of friends as well. I'm still sad and unhappy with my appearance. Food still makes me sick and honestly im wondering if this surgery really helped me to better myself. Did anyone else experience this type of sadness and self hatred. I could really use some support and guidance from people who are experiencing what I am without any judgement Kik me: Ohsoprettycici .... I could use someone to vent to or seek out advice

Hugs. Body image dismorphia is very common while losing weight.  What helped me was a good therapist- counselor. And since you mentioned about losing friends  - they probably were not that good friends to begin with. And many times as we change - so others around us. Maybe it is time to make new friends. 

There are many changes especially the first year. Sounds like you have some body dysmorphia going on. Have you seen a therapist and/or have you considered doing so?  I also sense some possible depression. 

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I wish I could guarantee you it'll change these are definitely things you'll need to work through. (((((Hugs)))))

I am seeing a psychologist she thinks I'm obsessing which in a way I know I am I'm scared to be as overweight as I once was

I think this is a positive for you. I went through counseling after my divorce and it helped tremendously. She had me write down what were my positives and negatives about my self, what I wanted career wise, relationship wise and just in general. It was VERY ENLIGHTENING....although my intent was to get through the divorce as a single mom and deal/help my children (they also went through therapy) I at that time realized that being alone was OK and that I wasn't ever going to settle in life again in anything. 

Right now I'm struggling with work, I'd love to quit that job it's way to stressful and our management team doesn't take care of business. They also have us under staffed with promises for the past 18 months that it'll get better. I have just had enough of the lies and broken promises so I've decided I will do what I can and to **** with the rest I'm not going to let the anxiety and stress get to me. I wish there were other opportunities here I'd be looking. Ok that got me off topic and I apologize for that. 

Just know you deserve all the positive energy you can gather right now. Hang in there and continue to work through this one day at a time.  

Do you still have access to your doctor's support group and staff? I would tell them.  They want you to succeed and be happy.

I have only lost 25 pounds. My socks and underwear fell off and I had to buy new ones after only 2 weeks because they were so baggy.   I know I lost weight but I swear I don't see it in the mirror.

I am so sorry you feel this way. Please dont beat yourself up for nothing. I think you look great and its only been a year and you still have some progress to go. I will keep you in my prayers

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I too see the "old fat girl" in the mirror everyday...but I KNOW that is my mind playing tricks on my head.    I call it my lying eyes.    Look at the size of your clothes.   I know sometimes when pulling my jeans out of the dryer I can't believe that I actually fit into them.    BTW....I am 8 yrs. post op.    I personally think we can ALL use help accepting our "new" body's.    I am OK with the person in the mirror.    Maybe you should talk to your surgeon's office and see if there is someone you can talk to that can help you with this.   In the mean time when you look at the mirror....tell yourself how great you look and how healthy you are now that the weight is gone.     Think about how much energy that you are now and how much better your life is and how bright your future is.    The only regret I have as far as my WLS goes...is that I waited till I was 52 yrs. old to have it done.    Keep your chin up.  

 

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

im new to this whole thing. im in the process of getting my rny done. I just have to tell you that you look gr8t. we all have weight issues and think horribly. but just think back b4 you had the procedure. Now, you're in better health. That's the main thing. and if your so called friends couldn't be there for you through thick and then, then they weren't your friends to begin with. Remember GOD says" some things are only for a season". i went to a seminar a cpl yrs ago. a guy said this and i never forgot it. He said, " you either change the people you are around, or change the people you are around." At first, i was like what the h***. But i thought about it it as he continued to talk. You either change the people around you, or you change the people you hang around. We all know that we cannot change anyone that everyone changes for him or herself, so it's up to us to do what we have to do. Continue to send my prayers your way for you will find you inner healing that you so deserve. Congrats on your sucess!

I think many feel the same way you do. I know as crazy as it sounds I feel I look fat at 107-112 pounds where I bounce between regularly. My mind KNOWS there is no way I can be fat at this weight but my eyes tell me something different. My husband swears he will find a way to pay for plastics in Mexico so that I can lose the skin that he thinks is the issue in what I see. But I'm not sure that is it. I've been seeing a therapist since surgery as I figured out rather quickly I needed to work on my head as much as my weight, it's helped. I worry about eating disorders now but he says I am aware and that is half the battle. I've also had a great deal of depression the first year and have been actively working on that. I found leaving my job albeit hard financially was the best thing that could have helped me mentally.

The loss of friends is also difficult and I'm sure not helping at all. However, as others have said if they were your friends they wouldn't be lost. When we face tough challenges, illnesses, or life altering changes we find out who are true friends are. Unfortunately I think we all have far less than we thought we did. I hope you can get into a therapist and talk some of this out.

You are a success! You are doing wonderful! You are wonderful! Don't let anyone or anything take that away from you!