OFF TOPIC: just need to vent

why is my husband being an ass? my surgery is in 2 days and he's acting like a two year old therefore getting me more emotional than i already am.  really want to scream.  aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.  sorry.  thanks :)

He's probably scared, too.  Sounds like y'all need a big, long hug with each other.  You will do fine with your surgery and we will be waiting to hear from you!

thanks... he won't admit if he is scared.  instead he shuts down and makes me feel like i am doing something wrong.  i just wish he would understand how my every thought circles around this surgery and it's pretty much who i am right now.  i wish i could concentrate on other things and just live life normally, but my obsession with food has become an obsession with surgery.  therefore making me crazier than i normally am. :) 

i'll give him some time and hopefully i can let it go.

It is a process... but for me it faded with time.  I hope he can find a way to support you better, or that you can find a way to deal with his method of dealing... or hopefully you can meet in the middle, but I promise, this to shall pass :-)

(((hugs)))

We shutdown....that's how we roll.

If he doesn't want to talk, then just hug


My soon to be ex husband decided 2 weeks before surgery was a good time to start a divorce - it was a long time coming, but his timing sucked. Just try and spend the next two days relaxing - reading, baths, etc. Don't freak out!

He's probably nervous, scared, anxious about the upcoming changes in, not only, your lifestyle, but his. Not to be an ass, but being a guy I was wondering if in your obsessiveness, you've bothered to ask him how he's doing with what's happening. I, too am obsessing about my sleeve, upcoming surgery, pre op diet, time off work, am I making the right decision, etc... On Saturday I asked my wife how my upcoming surgery was affecting her and if she realized how drastically things would change for me and also for her. She said she did, but didn't know how to deal with it until it happened. For now she's just trying to be supportive - though she doesn't quite get it all. (She's one of those happy never been more than 20 lbs overweight and when she notices she up, she just changes her eating and it falls off like butter. Hell to live with, but that's another issue. )
Also, I'm the caregiver in the relationship - bet you are, too. She did mention that she wasn't used to me not being focused on her needs and that is bugging her.
I hope that your husband's weirdness passes soon!

 Thank you soooo much for all your responses, especially the guys... and yes, i am definitely the caregiver in the relationship.  i spend my life waiting on him and then feel resentful when he doesn't do it for me, however i have to remind myself that i dont' ever ask him to, so why would he think that way?  i've asked him about how he is feeling about my decision but now that's it so close it's a good reminder to do it again.  

thanks all!