Getting My Hubby On Board with My Surgery????

My surgery is on the 20th and my husband still makes fun of me for getting the surgery and makes rude remarks. I am on my pre-op diet which is hard enough as it is but my hubby said something today; so it just made it worse. I basically told him I am getting the surgery, either you are on board or you aren't. It just frustrates me to no end. Anyone else out there go thru this?

You will love your sleeve and all of this won't matter at all in a few months. However, for right now, maybe your husband is nervous about the surgery, about you getting control of your life and becoming healthier, about the prospect that you won't need him once you are at your goal. All of these are real concerns and sometimes lashing out, riduculing you is the only outlet for him.

He needs to be educated on how this is a really life changing surgery and like you said, either he is on board or he isn't.  You can't control him, but you can certainly control how you react to him. If he doesn't want to learn more about this surgery, don't worry about it, you will be learning enough for both of you. Try indifference and see how that goes.

Remember, your OH family is always, always here for you.

I'm really sorry he's being difficult.  Often times, those closest to us are worried about how their life with change by us getting WLS.  And they have odd ways of showing their worry and concern.  Maybe try to ask him why he ridicules you and makes rude remarks.  If you can understand his worry or fear, then maybe you can help him better understand why this is so important to you.  

Best of luck!

I have the most supportive husband in the world and 2 days prior to surgery I asked him, you aren't really on board with this whole thing are you? And I was so hurt to hear what I knew, he wasn't, but for various reasons. He was worried if something really bad happened during surgery for one thing. Then he always says just eat less and exercise, no duh, I know how to do that, but always eventually go back to my old ways. I explained how I felt and that I am tired of being fat, and so unhappy about myself. I am ashamed at how I look. Also, I am healthy now, but have parent history of heart disease, stroke, diabetes. I told him these things are in my future if I don't do something and right away. And by the way, all I need is your support! I AM DOING THIS FOR ME, NOT YOU!

So after we got all that out of the waym he said you are so right, I have no idea how you feel and what you have been going through mentally, emotionally and physically. Everything has been fine since then. But he did eat tuna salad on Tostitos in front of me today LOL, they sure smelled good.

Too bad they can't take smell away for a few months too! Anyway dear maybe a heart to heart might help. Either way do this for you! I am 6 days post op and following my doctors plan, and this is by far my best day since surgery! Everyday gets better. Good luck on your journey!!!

I'm 24 and I live with my fiance, he was not the problem. I had the problem convicing my mom and dad (it's their insurance I'm covered under) my dad made a comment "Just put the fork down, and you'll lose weight" and my mom said something like "That surgery is just restirction. Just stop eating so much and you wont need it" It was so frusterating!!!

They just didnt understand but eventually I made them go to one of the introductery seminars (yes, even after I was already scheduled for surgery) and they really came around.

I dont know if your bariatric institute is doing any introduction seminars between now and your surgery but if they are, I would make him go to it!

Remember always that this surgery is for you and only you. I am sorry that your husband is a little freaked out. Maybe he is just worried about the future and if he will still be a part of it. You know men, they are really crazy about things sometimes. I wish you all the luck with your journey.

Let me preface my post by saying I'm 2 month post-op now.  When I first told my husband that I was interested in surgery almost a year ago, he FREAKED out.  It was a huge, blow up fight and we didn't talk for a few days.  It took both of us a long time to cool off.  Now, I KNEW why he was so upset - he was scared that something would happen to me, he was uneducated about the surgery, and he was prejudiced that I was taking the easy way out and I would gain all my weight back after taking a HUGE risk.  His feelings and his reaction were coming from a good place, and I knew that (although it didn't make living with him during the pre-op phase much fun).  But he never did any research to find out why I wanted the surgery and what the benefits were either.

I basically told my husband that I loved him, I knew why he disagreed with me, but in the end it was my decision.  And while I really, really WANTED his support, I didn't NEED it.  We just chose to agree to disagree, and we didn't talk about the surgery really at all.  I just gave him the necessary information (I was approved for surgery today.... My surgery is scheduled for August 8th... I'll be in the hospital for a day or two... I'll be off work for a weeks, etc.) and avoided giving him any of the details of my journey.  It sucked, but I was determined and he stayed out of my way.

Now after surgery, he changed his tune 100%.  He's supportive and understanding (and he also started reading up on the surgery, what I can and can't do, etc.).  And now he'd become my cheerleader (and sometimes my food police).   What I've always loved about him is that he tells it like it is (so if he catches me eating something I shouldn't be, or if I'm not exercising enough, he's the first person to remind me).  He's happy that I'm losing weight and he's seeing the benefits of me being thinner, healthier and more active. 

I don't know that he will ever really "get" why I had surgery.  In the back of my mind I know that he'll always believe that I could have lost weight without surgery.  But I honestly don't care about that.  I know I couldn't have done it any other way.  And now that he's seeing the results first hand, I feel like we can move past us not agreeing and start living our lives.  I promise it DOES get better!!!