MAJOR nsv - to me anyway!!

So... My first love, the only other man in this world besides my husband that I've ever been in love with... I found out that he's gay!

I spent a good 7 years of my life chasing this guy and had allot of heartache and self esteem issues with the rejection I had from him on several occasions! He was my best friend and I thought he was perfect. I thought WE were perfect together. When I met my husband the relationship with my other love had to end. I mourned losing him for a very long time. And I never had closure, I never understood why he couldn't and didn't want me or like me like I liked him!! I never thought it was b/c he is gay until recent years... Well I finally got the confirmation I needed and talked with him last night for two hours about everything!!

Now I know it wasn't me at all! This gives me a whole new perspective on the way I saw myself and has allowed me to release the feelings that I must be ugly or too fat or just not good enough! I can't begin to explain the high that I feel from this right now! I consider it a non surgical victory b/c it's a major player in the mindset game! My husband asked me why I was smiling when I didn't realize I was! My inner joy is coming thru and I cant stop it!!! I don't want to stop it! I feel refreshed and new! And best of all I have my friend back!

Major break through !!! Congratulations on resolution in your life.

Congratulations on this!!  It is great to be able to get to such a good place with your friend, and to finally understand a painful time in your life.  Hugs!!

That is a huge deal. I think so much of who we are is determined by how others react to us. So glad you had positive closure on this chapter of your life.

It is definitely time to feel good about you and all of the positive things happening in your life.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement!

I am so glad you have closure on this.  Isn't it funny how we automatically think there is something wrong with us instead of an issue with them