Is VSG Enough?

Hello OH/VSGERS!!!!


I wanted to get some opinions of people that have already had the surgery and maybe some that have not had it yet also.

Well I was talking to my boyfriend today and his true feelings came out about me getting the surgery

He was saying that I sleep my life away and I'm always tired, I don't want to go out(club, bar any type of setting where you would have to dress nice and a crowd of people) etc. I said don't you think my weight could be the problem?

I told him that if I wasn't 302 lbs (5'5" big all over, nothing small other that my ears and fingers LMAO) that things would be different? he said no.

I told him I feel that this surgery would help me a great deal. He said that he doesn't think that this surgery would help because after  I lose the weight I would have another problem.



So finally my question is to you all, Do you think that after you lose the weight your good? You can move on in life without letting you weight and the way you look with the weight hold you back from doing anything?


Are you content with your weight loss or now do you have other issues now?



Thanks for you input in advance.




LashaeLashae

For me, my weight issues are so much more than just physical.  I'm also in counseling and it helps me immensely.  I started the counseling so I could find a way to make the weight loss stick this time after so many failed attempts.  I'm learning a lot about myself.  Just got done with a counseling session in fact.

So, I love my sleeve.  It's awesome and gives me freedom to live a new, thinner life, but it also gives me hope that I can do things I've never done before.  Like keep the weight off.  It's at least 50% mental for me, probably more.  But I don't think I could do it without the sleeve!

Keep reading the boards and you'll get a lot of insight.  I'm sure others will chime in here too.

Good luck on your decision!  Getting my sleeve is one of the best things I've ever done!!

Being skinny doesn't solve all of life's issues. BUT, I can tell you that it makes certain activities more "fun" enjoyable etc. I don't have any major lingering issues now that I'm half the woman I was. I enjoy all the same activiites as I did before, I just wear smaller clothes. I still can't and won't wear a bikini, not that I have a huge desire to wear one, and I could if I really wanted to, but I don't look good enough to pull off a bikini. Mind you, I live in sunny Florida, land of skinny mini, fake HUGE boobs, and I just have no desire to wear a bikini. I'm beyond ecstatic with my weight loss. It made getting pregnant possible, not once, but twice and healthy pregnancy and a gorgeous daughter that I delivered 4.5 months ago, and now I'm 9 weeks pregnant again.

Do you have other issues that are keeping you in, or is it just your weight/self-esteem? I was always outgoing and didn't allow my weight to hold me back. I dated, went out all the time, and just didn't allow my pant size to define me as a human.

If there are other lingering issues such as depression, or self-worth/self-esteem issues, weight loss can improve those situations, but there's no guarantee that you will just automatically love your skinny self more. It's an entire work of your mental, physical and emotional health.

Yes due to my weight I am very shy, I am very quiet I feel that Im not who I want to be because of my weight.

I dont attract the type of guys I like the look pass me... I have always been the big friend to the small pretty girl that all the guys wanted. I even have a cousin that i grew up with really really close to and it happened al the time. I was just friends with the guys and they wanted her.

Now that I am older (25) guys look at me a want sex...to be honest with you and everyone else who will read this.

I use to work at the DMV in DC an I remember my guy friend telling me that him and all of the other guys we worked with had a convo and everyone said that they would have sex with me but no one wanted to "be with me" relationship wise.

so all that said yes my weight has hurt me in so many ways.



LashaeLashae

Wow, he doesn't sound like much of a friend at all. If that's what you call a friend, you certainly don't need enemies! BTW, I seen your avatar pic, you're beautiful!

Confidence comes in many forms. All I'm saying is that being skinny might not make you all of a sudden love yourself and demand more from men.

A lot of men say they'll screw a fat chick, but they'll never date or be with a fat chick. Well, I can tell you that there's TONS of guys out there who will screw skinny chicks who lack confidence and self-esteem, but won't marry them. It's not always your size, it's how you carry yourself, how you love yourself. My husband (who might I add is 6 years younger, built like a brick ****house, hot as hell) met, fell in love and married me at 270lbs, and still loves me at 125-140lbs (I'm pregnant so my weight is climbing).

I'm not saying that VSG/weight loss won't help you make those changes. BUT, being skinny doesn't fix everything. I hate my boobs, I hate my saggy stomach (especially after having another csection just 4 months ago), I won't wear short shorts, or sleeveless shirts, I hate that my fat face is now super skinny, and I have massive crow's feet and wrinkles. BUT, I loved myself at 270lbs, and demanded that I be treated with respect, love and dignity. I wouldn't trade my loose, wrinkly, excess skin for all my fat rolls.

Being fat isn't fun, I had zero health issues, but was just tired of being fat. Buying tiny clothes is great, wearing high heels is fabulous, being able to walk the mall for hours without my joints hurting is fabulous, but my body resembles that of an 80 yr old raisin. I just happen to love myself enough to accept it, and will be having a tummy tuck to fix the belly.

I would just hate for you to have surgery, lose the weight and still wonder why you are not 100% happy, and content with life post-op. Some people do gain loads of confidence, others don't. I just do not believe that being skinny can fix every problem we have.

Part of this whole journey is learning to love yourself and to demand respect (I do not mean be *****y or anything) but do not accept to be treated with anything less than what you deserve as a human being.  If you don't love yourself then other people can see that. And men can be dogs they want some "ideal" for the girlfriend and they will use anyone else that does not fit that ideal (is she lets herself be used). Losing weight gives your more confidence but also the things you say to yourself inside your head are what helps you grow as a person. If we always tell ourselves we are not attractive or no one wants us then no one will. But if we treat ourselves with love and respect and tell ourselves we deserve more we will get what we deserve. Other people treat us the way we let them treat us.  Love yourself, give yourself time to grow and tell those jerks at work they suck and you wouldnt want to be with them anyways... because you deserve better than what they have to offer.

 Hi and welcome . First I think you need to ask yourself some questions. Are you depressed because if your weight? Do you not like the way you look and are self conscious about your weight which keeps you in and tired??? I think at first with any wls you will be even more tired due to the lack of calories but in the long Run you will have way more energy. However I know that with me the answer to the questions I asked you I answered for me yes so vsg for me was enough now I love to shop for new clothes I feel good about how I look and I like to go out and show off the new me that being said I have a girl friend that had wls she lost all her weight but still is a home body and doesnt like to go out still does all her shopping on line never goes out unless I make her. So you have to find the answers to those questions. Best wishes to you on your journey 

I wouldnt say that I am depressed i dont cry about it or anything of that nature. I have never seen a 1 anthing. I have always had a weight problem my lowest ever was 220.

I just deal with it until im in a situation where that becomes a factor.


LashaeLashae

And you also have to ask yourself--are you just the type of person who doesn't really enjoy the whole going out/bar scene? There is nothing wrong with that! You may feel that way regardless of your size--and that's okay.