Judged by our looks

When I started this process I was 330 lbs. At this weight at 31 years old I was openly mocked and teased and harrassed about my weight by complete strangers. If I wasn't being teased (which I admit wasn't a constant thing but, occured at least once a week), I was completely ignored. I was invisible. People would blow past me on the sidewalk as if I wasn't there (I am constantly moving to get out of everyone elses way) and jump right in front of me in lines at stores. I wanted to yell "HELLLLOOOO ....I know you can see me people I am 330lbs. I am almost literally the elephant in the room. There is no way you don't see me".  Now I am 259.6, so I am still very morbidly obese and I have nearly 110 lbs to lose just to reach a healthy BMI. I returned to work after nearly 8 weeks. I did my hair and make-up nice, as per my husbands instructions (he loves when I do myself up). Alot of my customers haven't seen me in 8 weeks. They were all fawning over my weight loss, how good I looked, and how they missed me....so on and so forth. Can you believe that the VP in the bank started to act really nasty to me and openly yelled at me in front of everyone and one customer over having to break my lunch into three 15 minute intervals so I could eat every 3 hours as per my NUT and surgeons instructions. She said "you can't do that" complete with eye and kneck rolling. My Manager told me just get it in writing, that she (the VP) is incredibly jealous of me because I am starting to look so good. What the hell is wrong with people???? Forget how I look, as a human being shouldn't they be happy that I am now extending my life and probably wont die in 8 years like was previously forecasted for me. Monday none of my customers came in and the VP didn't bother me but, Tuesday alot of people were making a big deal and this is the day she kept being so rude and obnoxious. Could it really be jealousy? I can't understand that myself. I am thrilled when people are successful. Plus, I have such a far way to go. It makes no sense to me. Has anyone else experienced this?

What a world we live in!?!?!!? I am so sorry you have had to experience this at your workplace.

I am sure people lose friends as they lose weight. People say we have changed. We have, thankfully. But instead of being the fat supportive, sit on the sidelines friend, we are the skinny supportive, I got get out there and run friend. People sometimes have a problem with that. IT IS THEIR PROBLEM NOT YOURS.

Bring in the medical note and ignore the neck rolling, head swinging Witchy-Poo. Hold your head up and be on your way. You have A LOT to be proud of. Your husband sounds like a great supporter. Blessings my dear! Sharon

Two words for you: Reasonable Accomodation

You have a medical condition that requires you eat on scheduled intervals and allowing you to take your lunch break in 3 parts is merely a 'reasonable accomodation' for that condition. Bring in the doctors note, make sure it goes to HR making them aware of the issue with the VP, and if the VP says another word file a complaint under the Americans with Disabilities Act. It's no different than if you had to break your lunch up to take insulin shots, etc.

Why is she being like that? Becuase she thinks she can get away with it. Whether her motivation is jealousy or something else is irrelevant. It's completely inappropriate to call out a subordinate in front of their peers much less customers particuarly when that individual is asking for a reasonable accomodation due to her under federal law.

Don't play into 'mean girl' politics at work. Be businesslike, professsional, and do not worry about the motives as they are not relevant. Focus on the actions and how you are/were harmed by them (i.e., diminished professional standing with peers, customers, etc.), document times, dates, incidents and witness, and play it cool.  Being openly emotional will hurt you in the long run if you have to push an HR or legal case.

Your name may be "krazydoglady" but that's some of the most sane advice you could have given!! Kudos to your for educating AND supporting!

 I totally agree with krazydoglady. 

Yes, I have run in to jealousy at work in two cases. I am a teacher on a team of four. The first time I told one of the I waas having VSG she said 'oh great, now I'm going to be the fat one one the team". I actually really love this girl she just has NO filter. She even did shakes with me at lunch on my prep diet. My other two teammates are pretty fit. One is only in her 20's and actually purchased me a dorm fridge for when I go back to work in Monday.

But the other one?? She is just an attention ***** (pardon the phrase) and always has to be the center of attention. Once word got around our school I was about to have surgery people began offering lots of support and being really vocal about how brave I was, etc. I'm not sure I was brave, but, in any case, she was hearing alot of this at lunch, etc. she would try to change the topic and NEVER joined in any verbal support, etc. She also never called me to check on me or anything. Quite frankly, that suits me just fine. Totally her problem. She may have a coronary when we come back in August and no one has seen me in three months. But I just hope she can find some peace and happiness in her own life. God knows it is too short for mean girl antics.

I am so sorry that you, or anyone, has to endure this.  I completely agree with the words of the others that have posted.

You are an amazing person and you have and are continuing to do an amazing job!  Don't let those that obviously have such miserable lives that they must fill them with tearing down others get you down.  They are not worth your time.

I agree with Krazy. I also have to say, my sister had WLS two years ago. For some reason, she thinks I am completely jealous of her. I'm not. I'm happy for her. When we talk and she complains about her arms, I give her suggestions. She takes them as barbs. Take a good look back at this VP. I bet she wasnt nice to you BEFORE surgery. She's just amped it up and you have realized you don't have to take it. I'm not saying that's the case. Just think about it. Then hand HR the note and tell them whats going on and smile at her when she says the next thing while in your mind you're saying,"***** please...".

You are right, she was never particularly nice. But she was explosive this time and embarassed me saying thing like "who told you, you could do that?" She even confronted the Manager and had a loud discussion about it in front of the teller line and 4 other employees. She even questioned my Manager and her authority it was crazy. She was always not a peach to work with but, it has certainly escalated.

I know it's horrible. I faced that when looking for a job.  So many interviews and no job.  Still I'm glad I didn't get those jobs at 351 pounds.  Why?  Because I belong to an organization that doesn't judge people in that way.  They look for the most qualified person (true story) and a person who fits the company.  It doesn't matter here what you look like.  Now I'm losing and everyone is so encouraging (I've lost 70 pounds since starting here)...I'm sorry your stuck with a bunch of butt heads.

I agree with everything everyone has said here...the one thing that I could add...

DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT!!!

Make sure you keep in writing all of the incidents and things you have experienced with this VP and be sure to write facts only (I know it's hard to do this but do your best as it's only that facts that would be needed).

Even if you feel up to saying something to this VP, for right now don't. Trust and believe when you let HR know about your accommodation and the fact that her behavior is in direct violation of the Americans w/Disabilities Act...she'll be singing a different tune because of HR. In this day and age companies do NOT want that type of negative publicity.

And as for you...CONGRATULATIONS!

I am just starting on this journey (getting ready to buy my 1st week of OPTIFAST now...don't need to do the supervised weight loss but I need to lose like 75 lbs pre-op to have a better BMI for surgery so 6 weeks of shakes and bars it is...*sigh*) and people like you inspire me everyday that I am going to ROCK IT!

Best of luck and just know that no matter what, your VP will be visited by the karma fairies soon enough! *mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha* (that's my evil laugh hahaha)