almost three years.....my life

 I had my sleeve almost two and a half years ago. I have lost 100 pounds.I was cleaning out my desk drawers at school this week and found last years class picture and the year before's class picture. The earlier one was the day before my sleeve surgery. I scanned them and put the two side by side and was simply amazed at the difference. AND..I actually weigh about 15-20 pounds less now than in the last picture. 
 
First of all, and foremost, I want to thank the Good Lord for allowing me to be able to have this surgery and for helping me each day when I do not even deserve it. This surgery has been such a blessing to me. I started out with the band and lost 40 pounds then started having esophageal spasms that were a nightmare. I could never get the right fill with my band. I was either too tight or too loose...never found that sweet spot that everyone desires. Having been a weight-loss surgery failure only added to my depression. I was ashamed of my weight and I was just as ashamed that I had become a statistic again...a weight loss surgery failure.
    I was never comfortable with having a gastric bypass. I am sure it is a great surgery...it just was not for me. My insurance would have covered it, but I went with the sleeve and self paid. I financed the surgery and two years later am still paying for it...but it has certainly been money well spent. Financially, I could not afford to pay for this surgery. Emotionally and physically, I could not afford not to.  
I cannot begin to tell you how my life has changed. I could not hardly walk from my car into the school where I teach. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I now walk/jog 4 miles a day....WOW...what a difference. My self confidence is not comparable. I no longer make excesses to stay home because I am ashamed to get out. I even go to exercises classes.....with men and women......something I would never have done 100 pounds ago!  
I have went from a size 22 to a size 10 in most things. I still cannot believe the difference. There have been several times recently that I have spoke to people and they didn't really speak back, then when they walked past, they turn around and say my name and then tell me that they were not sure it was me. LOL Myself, I cannot see that big of a difference...but they say that there is...I guess I will just have to take their word.  
I felt so old when I was 100 pounds heavier...much older than I am. I could barely get up or down, I avoided exercise at all cost...it hurt and I was embarrassed. I was ashamed at school because I was always the one out of breath and sweating from carrying all that weight around. My students often hug me and it is music to my ears when they say that I am so little or that they can feel my bones. That is a big difference from hearing them make fun of me for being so fat...but pretending not to hear or know because it hurt too bad to face it.
    The sweetest thing happened at school recently and coincidently the day before my birthday and I cannot think of a better gift than this compliment that was not even intended for my ears. There are five of us that teach in the upper hall where I am and our students love to massage our shoulders and they tell me I am boney...me!!?? boney!! One of my co-workers' son is in my class and he had not learned my name yet and since we switch classes and this was new to him it was taking him a while to learn us all....my co-worker said he was talking about his teacher and she asked him which one and he said to her, "You know, the one that looks like a teenager." WOW...he could not have said that a very short time ago when I looked ten years older from all that weight.

I am not going to lie.....I could easily fall back into old habits....I can still gain easily....I have to watch it everyday....I tell people it is still a mind over matter thing. A friend who is considering having the surgery asked me then why have it if it is still the same thing to deal with.....my reply was.....well its certainly a lot easier to watch and maintain than never being able to get there in the frist place. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat!!!

I still have a few issues with my body...I so want a tummy tuck and perhaps when I get my sleeve paid for that may become a reality.
 
I just wanted to drop you a note and tell how my life has changed. 
God Bless Each and Everyone of you :)

Inspiring! Congratulations!

 Thank you so very much for sharing your story! You gave me a lot of hope and encouragement. I wish you all the best.

wow that is great. thanks for the encouragement. I feel the same way you felt and cannot wait for my surgery which i am self pay and will probably take the rest of my life to pay for but at least I will have a life to live. Your motivational.

Great post! Thank you.

Mechelle 
 
 Way to Go.......Very inspiring... Keep it up girl......

Thank you....lovely.

 
Hey Mechelle.....

Congrats !!!

I loved your post !!!

Please hang out at out Maintenance Forum also......! (oops!! I see you've been there !!!)

frisco

This is a wonderful post! Thank you! I totally relate to the "Financially, I could not afford to have this surgery, but emotionally and physically I could not afford not to..." :)