On the radio this AM - WL & Sex

The title might get your attention, but the concern is... how do you feel about sex now with the weight loss? 

Some of the people on the radio show this morning talked about losing 20lbs and feeling so good about themselves they went out and had a 1 night stand.  Someone else mentioned losing enough weight that the guy she was interested in finally gave her the time of day, so she slept with him once and never spoke to him again (revenge sex).  Another woman... so inspiring, lost over 160lbs... she said she has been having a "1 night stand" for over a year... the host argued and said that was a relationship... she said they are both married to other people, so it isn't.   A salacious radio show to be sure, but there was a real issue here beneath all the gossip.

When we lose the weight and start to feel good about ourselves, there is a desire to feel attractive again, to be loved and wanted, and to inspire passion in someone.  Sometimes the relationship we are in does not fulfill that, I know.  Also, losing weight can make the hormones active again, as well as drive up your energy level.  Sex is a great way to enjoy all of that again.  However, we must be true and honest to ourselves, and NOT treat ourselves as if we do not deserve love and passion.  When you are confident in yourself, a one night stand (done safely - condoms people!!) can be just what you needed, so I do not judge anyone.  I only caution all of us that we are fragile in this state... we are sometimes still seeing the fat person in the mirror and there may be enough lingering self-hatred that we fall into bad habits or allow ourselves to do things like one night stands where we feel miserable afterwards just cause of the desire to feel that wonderful rush.  It is important to keep to your personal morals and values... so if you do not believe in sex without love, or for the sake of sex alone... fat or thin, you still would not feel right about it.  And if you are in a relationship where you are not getting your needs met, get counseling or leave.  I know, I know... believe me, I know this is never easy and there are kids and other difficult issues to solve before this can be done - but in the end it is a simple choice - stay and make it work or leave and work on your own needs.  Neither choice is inherently wrong or selfi****s one only you can make. 

I do not ask anyone to comment on this.  I am kind of throwing it out there for consideration.  We are all in this personal evolution here, and sometimes it can be a bumpy road with difficult choices and lots of new sensations.

 

This is a fantastic and very important post.  You might not get many responses, but you will make people think about a very important and not often talked about issue.  I could comment and comment some more, and it sure would be interesting reading, but I better save it for a different place.  I think you just gave me a perfect topic to bring up with my girlfriends at lunch today.  :)  Thank you.

You know everyone talks about how great it is...and my loss really has my hormones outta wack like crazy.  Where I don't want to at all.  I have zero desire sometimes.  I feel like something is wrong with me.

I had zero sex drive for 18 mo post-op - may have had to do with going through a divorce and/or hormones, but now....its back with a vengence lol. (its return also happened to correspond with plasstics so it may be hormonal or a body image/mental thing but who knows).

OMG thanks for posting this.  I thought I was a freak!  I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Thanks for this. I enjoy private time with my husband even more than before, but it never occurs to me to initiate anything anymore. Hopefully as I get further out that'll change.

I needed to read this today! Thanks so much. These are some of my feelings put in to words. I love my husband and enjoy our private time together but my mental state is way out of wack. I either feel crazy hot (like a VS model in my head) or all I'm seeing is saggy boobs and a fat belly (more reality). My poor husband can't keep up with my craziness but what I really want is to know that I turn him on. It is definitely a new issue for me and I need to talk it out with him so it doesn't cause problems.
Thanks!

Excellent reflection! On many levels! Thanks for this.

also sex burns a lot od cals

Sadly,no...

http://www.drsharma.ca/obesity-myth-7-sex-helps-burn-calories.html