Sometimes I don't like myself very much...

I am my own worst critic, enemy, and friend.

I catch myself putting myself down, downgrading my success and hiding out when I should be part of everything.

I look at pictures of myself and can't see my success, although in the moments when I am not paying attention, I can tell all of the wonderful things this journey has done for me...my ability to get up off the floor...my ability to cross my legs...my energy...but I can't seem to hold onto that feeling.

I would love to get to the point that I can love myself as much as others love me...but I think that will be as much of a journey as anything else...

 

I am the same way.  I have lost 60 lbs but I don't feel like it or look that much different.   Easter my one son DIL and granddaughter had not seen me since Xmas.  When they came in they could not believe the difference in me.  My DIL really made me feel good because she was so sincere and no jealousy in her voice.  Granddaughter is overweight and you could tell she was jealous.  I wish I could help them all lose but I was never able to lose myself and keep it off before WLS.

I think you need to step back and think about why you are so hard on yourself. I am far from judging because I find myself doing the same thing at times. I see myself everyday so I don't see the "drastic" difference others do. I made my mother cry when she saw me on skype (she lives 600 miles away). I didn't think it was anything to cry about. I am used to seeing myself, lets be honest...to me, this crap looks the same when I am naked LOL. 

BUT...then I stop and think of all the things I can do now that I couldn't do before...the little things in life people take for granted when they aren't overweight. Those are the little reminders that help me stay on track and be proud of my accomplishments and be able to take people's compliments for what they are (and not sarcasm). 

Here are things that I can do easily now, without pain, without suffocating, without breathing like I am dying or just plain do normally:

Wear a winter coat and scarf while driving and or doing anything without sweating to death or suffocating

Painting my own toe nails

Shaving my legs

Crossing my legs..all the time

Looking down and seeing MY FEET 

4 miles on the damn elliptical

Workout 3x a week and enjoy it (would do more but currently working full time and a full time student)

I could fit a whole person in between the space between my stomach and the steering wheel

Ok, this list could go on and on forever...

Seriously...make a list....remind yourself. Be proud of you, you are doing great. Be your own number one fan, not your worst enemy or critic, the world has enough negativity hun!  

Hi Christi!

I second JAlston's response!

Here's the thing...I started at 323 ( you were 324?) You JUST had surgery 1 month ago...and down 42 lbs!!! Holy Moly!!!!! 

Bad news...head doesn't catch up to body very quick. This is normal.  People see a "thinner you"...you still see and feel the "weight burdened you".

The good news: YOU ARE GONNA LOSE MUCH MORE WEIGHT!  ( I've lost 123# in 7 months)The good thing abt that is that even though your head tries to catch up, what will help is taking note of  the abundance of non scale victories you will have to add to your list that you just eluded too!. I started to realize this was REALLY real when my big baggy clothes became big and ridiculous on me. When you have to buy clothes that are much smaller...your head starts to heal a bit.

I'm still learning not beat myself up over things...it's a learning process...but you never can lay down your sword and give up. You'll develop a voice that praises you instead of putting yourself down. You WILL!  It will come...I promise. Until then...make that list of NSV's my friend! Take it a day and a victory at a time.

Deep breaths. Keep it tuned here to OH. We'll get you thru it...and you're gonna SOAR!!!!!

Peace!

~Deb

I sometimes wonder if I will ever change. If someone points out - hey woman, you lost over 200 lb...my first thought is "so what". 

I have gotten better but its still hard for me. I definitely agree with keeping other ways of measuring your progress so you can see how far you have gone. My absolutely favorite way to "celebrate" is too look back at all my workout logs and see how far I have come. Obviously the number on the scale or my clothes sizes differences doesnt do it for me - but I get super happy when I realize once upon a time, I couldn't put tennis shoes on bc of fat swollen feet let alone walk...and now I am running and strong and healthy. 

Try setting up a reward system - be a mani/pedi, massage, night out, new outfit etc...to celebrate when you hit pre-determined milestones. FORCE yourself to celebrate - and your mind will eventually catch up. 

I don't see any difference in myself. I look in the mirror and see the same person of 8 months ago.

Then I get in the car, fit in a restaurant booth, climb steps, get in the bathtub, sit in a theater seat, and I KNOW I must be different. The real mind blower is looking at my jeans; there's no way those are mine.

Everyone says it takes time for your brain to "get it," maybe even a couple years.