Give the word "NO" more power !!!!

To kind of piggyback Kairk's post.....

The TV was on the Food Network show "The Kitchen" (I think)

Brooke Burke was a guest promoting a book (I think)

I think she has a subject in her book that talks about giving the word "NO" more power.

Her point was that we need to learn to say "NO" more often as we live in a "Yes" world.

She gave examples like saying no to an invite if you would rather stay home with the family and watch TV instead of pleasing others.

I know I didn't communicate that like she said it...... the point is that she referred to giving the word "NO" more power when it comes to foods and eating also.

Power to the "NO" !!!!

frisco

My particular obesity-related difficulty saying NO to things involves being a people-pleaser. I started working on that as it relates to food with the first month with my nutritionist. Not saying no to her, but to people who would tempt me off the plan, "Just have a little!" 

So, for people like me, learning to say NO can be about learning to value yourself more than you value approval from other people because you want then to like you.

If someone kicks up a fuss at you, or stops liking you because you don't want to taste their ambrosia salad... they're the one misbehaving and mistreating you.

It's okay to put your health, goals and desires above silly and exceptionally shallow feelings like validating whether or not they mixed the marshmallows and fruit ****tail well enough...

Good reminder, Frisco. Something I think most of us struggle with.

Definitely agree with PP about being a people-pleaser.  I overthink as it is.  But when it came to food, pre-op I would feel intense guilt if I didn't eat something someone had made/bought for me.  I felt that they would be offended and have hurt feelings if I turned it down.  I gave food way to much credit for influencing other peoples' emotions.  If my grandmother baked anything, I had to have it--she's my grandmother and I will miss that when she's gone (and she used to frequently bake rich desserts).  I needed to finish my plate or else someone might assume I didn't like it.  I needed to at least test everything that any friend brought to a potluck, which usually consisted of numerous dishes, almost all of which were carby/sugary desserts with next to no nutritional value.  If a guy bought me a drink, who was I to turn it down.  

Luckily, having the surgery gave me the ability to say no.  I physically couldn't eat many things for awhile.  And even when I could, I had the courage.  Plus, I guess people saw me losing weight and didn't want to challenge me or tempt me to eat more.

This far out I occasionally fall back into the eating-something-to-please-someone game.  I noticed it most recently at a crawfish boil.  I had a good time shelling and eating crawfish.  And I had barely saved enough room for half of a key lime pie bar that I made (and left there!).  I was fully satisfied and actually a little too full.  When someone asked me what I thought about their cookies.  I walked back into the kitchen, and stuffed that cookie into my mouth dutifully.  Luckily I immediately realized what I was doing and thought "this is insanity!"  

Thanks for the post, Frisco!  Always enjoy your input.

Frisco, 

I remember seeing you on here a lot in 2010-2012 when I was here a lot.  I have been MIA for the past few years and now I need to reconnect with this site.  I decided that this site was where I needed to be,  before I totally screwed myself up and end up back from where I came.  I thought about those that were part of everything back then and you were one I thought of and so I popped in today and BAM...here you are.  It is nice to see a familiar name and I am absolutely sold that this is why you have been successful this far out, along with all the hard work you put into sticking to plan.  Well anyway, nice to see your familiar name and I'll be popping in now and then to keep me on track.