beccabecca66
Brainless Monkey
Dec 09, 2010
I don't remember where I read it on OH, but someone said something about even a brainless monkey could lose weight in the first 6 months.I'm not a monkey, nor brainless. I'm not lazy. I work hard to lose what I do lose. I eat right, i exercise daily. Sure, maybe the pounds come off quicker and easier in the first 6 months. But why insult the changes we've made?
I can't get this thought out of my head. I feel like giving up because apparently, it doesn't matter what I do, I'll still lose weight. Why do i bother sweating my ass off in the cold, or on the dreaded treadmill? Why do I carefully plan my meals so that I get enough protein? Why do I work on my mind so that I'm getting better every day?
I wonder if the person who said this is struggling. I wonder if they can't get with the program. I think about all the excuses I can make for them. But then I think WTF? I've made excuses for people all my life. I have a right to be angry. I have a right to be hurt. I have a right to all my feelings.
Most of all, I hope that I never dismiss the hard work that anyone who has had surgery is putting into improving their life.
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I'm having some head issues. I'm not in a good place mentally. I am struggling. It might be a medication issue (bipolar), or it might be some post surgery let down and blues. In any case, I don't like it. It's hard to deal with these moods and feelings without food to cope. I drive past fast food places and wish i could binge. Exercise is a great coping tool, but to me, its not soothing. I'm competitive with myself. This is good for challenging self and raising energy levels. But i have to find a coping tool that matches the mood i'm in. Everything I think of doing involves spending money that I don't have. I guess I'll have to settle for a warm shower.
