Things people say and some thoughts on living and lifestyle...

Jun 03, 2013

So we've all heard something come out of another persons mouth that just makes us either want to do a facepalm moment. Be it on yourself or more likely them.

I have a growing list of "Did you really just say that" moments and figured I would share some of those that have happened to me, and my thoughts or feelings about them. Feel free to chime in on the comments.

1. How is that possible? How are you in a size *INSERT SIZE* and weigh *INSERT NUMBER* more lbs then I do?!

Yep... Someone said it. Apparently I called it in advance. I said upfront that because of my body, the way I am built, and my muscle composition it wouldn't surprise me to be something silly like a 250 lbs size 12.

Well I bought a size 14 dress at 260 lbs. I bought size 16 jeans at 265. I bought size 15 jeans, and can wear a size 12 dress (with boob room) at 248. Shocking for some? Yes...

The numbers used in the comment were "How are you in a size 14-18 (the range at the time) at 255? That's what I wear and I am 50 lbs less then that!" Another was "How do you only have a 38 band on your bra when you are an 20-22 size wise? I wear a 40 band!" I think my favourite was "How do you look so good in dresses?!" followed by "OMG that sounded so wrong.... I just mean how do they sit so well on you with your boobs because I can't pull most off." My reply to this was "I spend a lot of money making sure I only buy the ones designed for my body."

Well... You see... We're all built differently. I may have thunder thighs and boobs that have people questioning if they are home grown or implants but I have a defined waist, and slim ribs with relatively little "tummy". Yay me I guess... Enjoy your "skinny jeans" and let me enjoy my boobie shirts. We all win that way. Oh and stop wearing baggy clothing... It does nothing for anyone. We all feel better when we dress for our own body type.

2. I can't believe she eats *INSERT FOOD*!

The toppings off a slice of pizza (because I am a child and only eat the "good stuff... protein and veggies anyone?".
A handful of dark chocolate covered almonds (because sometimes my day needs healthy fats, and more calories or I stall out... and sometimes a little chocolate sweetens my bitchy disposition which I clearly have perfected).
Sharing a piece of birthday cake with 1-3 other people while keeping the rest of my day under 600 calories with 75-85 g protein, etc. isn't going to make or break me.

Guess what... I'll take my occasional treats when I want them because this isn't a diet. It is a lifestyle... And any lifestyle that expects perfection resembles a diet. If diets worked we wouldn't have WLS. I am not "perfect", and I am not intending to pretend I am. My way won't work for everyone but what works for someone who is 5'0" isn't what is going to work for me. Just like someone who runs 5 km a day vs someone who sits on their bum all day require different quantities.

The old "one size fits all" thought really should be "one size fits none". Follow your centers plan, don't drink your calories, and learn to live with what you choose to do. Own your own shit. I do.

I lose an average of 3.5 lbs a week living with this lifestyle. I don't want to lose faster, and if that slows at least I have things I can "remove" from my lifestyle. What would someone on a diet take out if they start at the lowest they can go? Just curious about this thinking.

I want a lifestyle that is maintainable. Not one that makes me stumble and falter under the pressure.

3. I don't eat any "added sugar/carbs" and then they drink a skinny, sugar free frappucinno with whip cream (while snubbing you).

Why would you think that drinking empty calories regularly is better than eating a few bites of something?
Why did no other surgeon lay it on the line and tell them "It is possible to fail a VSG (or any surgery) by drinking a high caloric liquid diet." like mine did?
Don't even get me started on the number of people who push this no added sugar/no carbs thing and then pound back shots of alcohol like they are a fat kid with a package of smarties. WHAT do you think you are consuming... Especially under a year out from surgery when you are taxing an already over taxed liver/kidneys. Yet I get the "look" or the "lecture". Go figure.

4. You're not "committed/dedicated" if you don't "have the same surgery/live the same hard line philosophy" as I do.

Really?
So because I had a VSG not a DS or a Roux-En-Y... I am not "committed" or "dedicated"? Even if those would have been the wrong choice for me?
I'm not "committed" or "dedicated" because my end goal is not to be between a size 2-6 (having been one before and knowing how I felt and looked at that size I am not allowed to want to be a higher size of 10-14 even though I am 8 inches taller)? What on earth is wrong with having my own goal size and why must I aim for what everyone else wants?
I'm not "committed" or "dedicated" because I have chosen to go "moderate carbs" at 50-60 g on an average day instead of 20-40 g a day because I require them for blood sugar regulation (born hypoglycemic), and I require them for brain function (trust me when I say I can't brain... I has the dumb when I go below for more than a day)?

I watch people struggle to make it to the goals set by their surgeon, or them self. They berate them self for being a failure instead of celebrating their successes. They live a lifestyle that is so limited they forget that the true goal here is living a healthier, happier life, and enjoying things they really couldn't do when they were larger. Or this is what our goal should be from my point of view.

Something many do not know about me is that once upon a time (not so long ago) I was very ill. I was dying. Not because of how large I was (though my illness contributed to weight gain partially because of a lack of mobility, and partially because it often goes hand in hand to gain weight while ill). I had stage 3 Lyme. I lost my ability to speak and form thoughts, my vision was affected, my ability to walk was affected. I was 28 years old, my skin was grey, my hair was falling out by the handful, and I was dying.

A Doctor put his own ass on the line and saved my life. 22 1/2 months of treatment later including antibiotic cocktails that would have potentially destroyed various organs and systems if not closely monitored and I had my life back. Even if I was significantly heavier than I was before getting ill. I had lost some of it during treatment but it wasn't enough. I still couldn't DO so many of the things I wanted to do.

I was active again, and living life... And then I got the scare of a lifetime all over again. 6 months of hell. My hormone receptors apparently "broke" and I spent 6 months trying to figure out if my boobs were trying to kill me (breast cancer) or if I had a rare benign condition. I'd already played the cancer card 2 times with alternate girl parts so my girl parts malfunctioning was something I tried to take in stride.

Good news is beign. Bad news is the sheer size and the fact that they could grow again at any time meant I have to have something done about them. Surgery is likely on the books but is a long way off (6 months at a stable weight).

Maybe because I came so darn close to losing my life with Lyme. Maybe because I've already had the fear of not living, and the realities of limited living shoved in my face over and over... I have a different outlook, and different priorities.

All I know is what I learned:

Live each day like it is your last. Eat in moderation rather than restriction. Don't forget to find a reason to laugh or smile every day. Treat others with kindness even when they forget to do so with you (to the best of your ability). Take care with your words and delivery because you may hurt another (intentionally or not).

Trust me when I say it makes the world you live in a much nicer place, and makes you a much happier person.

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