I'm so frustrated AGAIN. Why do I do this to myself?  Phychological BS.

Every time I go to the gym, I gain weight.  I started again last week and have gone 4 times....GAINED 3 lbs since last Saturday.  I know, I know, muscle right.  BUT dang, it doesn't make it very motivating to go go the gym when the scale goes up...and the bad part about it now is that my clothes are not loser....so am i gaining weight for real for real?

Thanksgiving was good.  I used my little saucer like I planned.  Got my turkey first and then dolips of this and that afterwards.  I only ate 1/2 of what was on my saucer.  I ate the other 1/2 later that evening as I cleaned up. 

The WOW moment for me?  My cousin who hasn't seem me since Feb was there.  As soon as he walked in he said I looked 16 (OMG, was he serious?).  He kept making little comments thru out the day.  Then he said "What'd you do, have that gastric bypass thing?".  I was like, "Yeah, I did...in January".  He was speechless.....Finally he told me I looked 20 years younger than the last time he saw me.  (OMG, was he serious?).  That was a feel good mement cause he would tell me if I looked a hot mess....so getting the compliments from him was so uplifting.

Now back to reality.....I'm starting to HATE GOING TO THE GYM CAUSE I KNOW I'M GONNA GAIN ON THE SCALE.....How long does it take after you 'GAIN MUSCLE' FOR YOU TO ACTUALLY START LOSING ON THE SCALE?  THis I need to know....it's so frustrating.

Hey OH Fam,

Can you believe another Thanksgiving is upon us?

My words of wisdom....YOU ALL HAVE A NICE, SAFE HOLIDAY AND REMEMBER THAT FAMILY AND FRIENDS ARE SO IMPORTANT.  VALUE YOUR TIME TOGETHER.  THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER THANKSGIVING 2008, SO CHERISH EVERY MOMENT and also remember that you did have surgery and dispite the holiday, you gotta take precious care of that tool....so eat, but don't gobble, gobble like an oink oink.

So now about me (lol)...Well, as for the pain in my ab..it's not a hernia.  It may be scar tissue or maybe just my imagination (was a good excuse not to hit the gym right).  I have an appointment with a bariatric surgeon under my new medical plan.  I hear he's awesome ..PROBLEM, my appointment is January .  Oh well....I'll grin and bear it.  It's not that bad though...it's there, but doesn't stop me from doing anything except the gym  ).   I started back at the gym on Tuesday and today.  Felt soooo good to be there. 

Funny thing, I can't see that much loss when I look in the mirror at home, but when I was at the gym in my workout pants, I did see that I'm smaller and my butt is getting on the flat side..just can't wrap my mind around what others see because they are telling me to stop losing...but I"m like, "I got 25 more lbs to go and I gotta hit that for ME)...

ANYWAY, I did 30 mins eliptical, 15 mins ab and 20 mins weights yesterday and 30 mins eliptical and 15 min abs today....so I am on my way back to where I was. Gotta build back up so I can start jogging again.
 
As for Thanksgiving...I"m gonna do what I always do and use a small saucer, put the meat and greens on first, then a dab of yams, mac/cheese, dressing. Yep, not depriving myself, but certainly not going over board.  I'm sure I"ll have a sliver of cake or pie...maybe both, who knows...but because I get nauseous and/or dump, it won't be that much.....I think it'll all be good and I won't be gobble, gobbling to much.

I am excited because a couple cousins haven't seen me since last February, so they will get a huge shock when they see me.

What else?  hmmmmm.  NOTHING.  Gotta start making my cakes and cleaning house.

PEACE,

Wassup OH fam!

Well, I weighed in today and it's the exact same as it has been for 2 weeks.  Good that I didn't gain, but frustrting cause I"m the SAME.  I didn't meet my halloween challenge. Oh well, there's always the Christmas challenge.  I"m gonna keep doing then til I meet a goal.

Also, I think I have a hernia.  The left side where my J-tube was is really aching and getting progressively worse.  I was in the store last night getting a 12 pack of soda (not for me  though) and I had to put it down,  The pressure from that spot hurt so bad....not to the point where I"m doubled over, but definately something that is causing me concern now.  I went and did my labs on Thursday, so I"m gonna call the doc on Monday and hopefully he can squeeze me in.  He said he'd need to send me for an ultra sound or a CAT Scan.  I don't feel a bulge when I press on the site where the pain is coming from,.....but something is going on.  He also said it could be scar tissue too.  We'll find out soon.

today I leave for my anniversary celebration.  I'm so EXCITED.  I have so many things planned for (BC) as Nikki calls him....The place we are staying is beautiful; and we;re staying in a spa suite....i've ordered chocolate covered strawberries....we're going to a wine tasting while we wait to check into our room...then this evening to our favorite seafood placei n San FRancisco and then to a jazz club....THEN, back to the spa suite......OK....TMI.

Talk to ya soon!