One Week Out and doing GREAT

Jun 01, 2011

So, it's done! I got my surgery done on Tuesday, May 24th around 9:30am. I was terrified, like I am whenever I go in for surgery, but this time had an eerily 'calm' overtone. I felt very well taken care of, and I was explained what was going to happen many many times. I felt like I already knew what to do and what to expect.

My last memory of being my 'before' self was rolling into the ER and the girls helping me get into position on the surgery table (Which, I did not know, but is an inclining table, and essentially they have you standing [while strapped down] so they can do the surgery better. Very interesting]). At that moment I felt shame (as I normally do getting onto an ER bed), having the girls try to lift me, guide me since I was a bit druggy. That's the last I remember.

The next thing I remember was someone calling my name and me saying 'yeah?' and then went right back to sleep. I remember feeling uncomfortable at that point, like I had been kicked several times in the belly. Then back to sleep. The next memory is a girl taking out the foley catheter (that's what she said), but I remember she asked me to breathe in deep then out deep. I thought that's the normal procedure when removing a breathing tube, but I was in la la land.

Next thing I remember I was in my room. I have no idea how I got there, but there I was, and my bf came in a bit later. The whole thing is extremely cloudy. I also remember my parents coming up for about an hour, (this was about 4pm). My dad held my hand as I went for a walk around the floor of the hospital (a square around the nurses station). That was maybe the third time I walked. As soon as I saw my bf come in the door, I told him.. 'Remember what I said.... let's go walking and let's go now'. (I had conveyed to him over and over again that when he saw me come out of surgery he needed to 'push' me to walk ASAP and as frequently as I could.

All I remember of my parent's visit was that I was sitting in the chair by the bed and I kept nodding off. I couldn't finish even one sentance. At one point I remember telling them, I mean absolutely no disrespect, but this stuff is stronger than me and I really am trying to be awake. :)

Then left after about an hour since I was fine physically, just druggy wuggy. I apologized and tole them I'd call as soon as I was 'awake'.

The nurse kept asking me if I wanted ice chips and I kept telling her, absolutely not. I feel like I just ate a Thanksgiving dinner, and even a sip of water might push me over the top. I did not feel naseous even once, at all. Just FULL. That first night was uncomfortable because by then, I was having ALOT of gas pressure in my stomach and upper abdomen. I could not for the life of me fart, which is what I was wanting to do so bad. I was SOOOOOO lucky that I got the room to myself, so I could openly discuss this with the nurses, lol.

The next morning I could NOT find a comfortable position, at all.  So I was up, down, in the chair, in the bathroom, etc. But I wasn't in pain, not at all. I was full, and full of gas. I could hear it sloshing around and gurgling. At one point, on day 2 I was so desperate, almost crying asking them to try to stick a catheter up my rear to try to release some pressure. No luck. Doc came in and asked how I felt. I told him, fine, except I am so uncomfortable with this gas, and I started crying (holy hormones). He said, that's totally normal and asked if I preferred to stay one more night. Of course I did and didn't at the same time. I wanted to be close to people taht could help me, but being woken up every hour was pissing me off royally.

Next day, I was feeling great. Getting up with no 'push' or 'pull' from a nurse or bf. I was ready to go home. Doc came in around 10am and said... how do you feel. I praised God and said... I FARTED AND I FEEL AMAZING! LOL, the look on his face was too much. I felt bad, though, I still do. The surgery is only supposed to be a 1 night stay, but I must be a huge baby. When I saw him yesterday at my 1-week appointment, I apologized several times to him.

Thursday I slept the majority of the day, but was home alone since my bf had to work. I felt fine. I didn't need the pain liquid, but I remember from reading on here that people say to take it even though you don't need it. So, Thursday and Friday were the last days I took it at all.

I am NOT getting enough liquid. And I am seriously trying. Yesterday I just started protein shakes (and still on clear liquids) becuase I don't WANT to eat. I'm not hungry. I don't feel like eating. Doc, yesterday, though, told me take the protein regardless.

I asked the nutritionist yesterday... I read on OH that a lot of people, post-op, are saying how sick they are of liquid and anticipating going to puree so badly.... Am I weird that I have no desire to eat at all? I am perfectyly content (now at least) saying on liquid and the protein. Why am I NOT wanting to move forward to the next phases of the diet?

I can't forget her answer because it was so RIGHT on: "Because at 1,2,3 weeks they aren't wanting to eat from hunger, it's emotional". And I totally knew what she was talking about. I found myself bored several times and saw something on tv and said "that looks so good" and my boyfriend asked me... 'Are you hungry?" and I replied "NOT in the least bit" and I wouldn't weat right now even if I could. It's just an old triggered emotional thing... looks good, let's go eat. Luckily, I am superior to my mental 'old ways' right now, and I just ask my tummy.... are you hungry? "NO!!! PLEASE DON'T FEED ME!!!"

Today is 8 days since surgery. On my base scale (the one I am using for all OH readings), I weighed 250 this morning. I went into the OR last week at 265 pounds. So, 15 pounds in a week. Although... I'm not even worried about it yet. My ONE AND ONLY FOCUS right now is getting the liquid in, now the protein too. I have this weird obsession like: if you eat, and you are not hungry, you are stretching the pouch and it will work against you later on. So, I just tell myself, no eating if you don't want to. And I am 100% fine with that. I do NOT want to eat. At all.

So, these are the stats right now:
Highest ever weight: 300
Begin Preop Liquid Diet: 280
Day of Surgery Diet (5/24/11): 265
Today (6/1/11): 250.

My personal goal is 165, so I now have less than 100 pounds to loose :) Exciting, but by no means am I close. This will be ALOT of MENTAL work, and I am so on top of it right now!

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