New Tattoo - What does it mean?

Sep 29, 2011

Yesterday I turned 31, and I got a new tattoo!
As I mentioned in my last post, my grandpa passed away on the 19th.  At this service a butterfly was flitting around to everyone, and it stayed through the whole service.  I noticed it, but didn't give it much thought at the time.  After the service one of my mom's friends, who I have known for years, came up to me and commented on the butterfly.  Then later my mom said that on the day my grandpa passed my dad picked a towel up off the towel rack in their hotel (they were out of town) and a butterfly flew out of it.  She also didn't think much about it until the service when she realized the butterfly in the hotel appeared right about the time my grandpa passed, and then here was another one at the service.  Needless to say, our family has adopted the butterfly as our universal reminder of my grandpa.  My aunt gave me a butterfly wind chime for my birthday yesterday.  And since my mom's birthday was on Monday she and I went and picked out matching butterfly jewelry for our birthday presents from one another.  Since Sunday I have been planning out a tattoo in my mind, one to remind me of my grandpa.  And what symbol would be a better tribute than a butterfly, right?  So that is what I got.  A new butterfly tattoo on my left wrist.  It is perfect.  Feminine, but not too girlie, after all, it is a remind of my grandpa.  I love it!

Today when I was showing it off around the office it dawned on me that the butterfly is a symbol of rebirth.  You know, a caterpillar is born, lives it's life as a fat rolly polly bug that slowly crawls from one place to another, totally consumed with eating.  Then one day it decides to create a cocoon for itself and it hides away until it's body is transformed into a beautiful butterfly and it is ready to emerge from it's self isolation.  Sound familiar?  It does to me!  I was a caterpillar, trapped in a fat, slow body, I chose RNY surgery, went into semi-hiding, and now, a year and a half later I have emerged as a new version of myself. 

So this afternoon as I stare at my wrist I see not only a reminder of my grandpa and how he is still a constant presence in my life, but I see a new version of the woman I once was.  One who is strong, confident, and capable of anything she puts her mind to.

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