Slowly Changing

Jul 30, 2012

Mindless eating.  It is one of the roots of my obesity.  Just one.  :)  But it is a big one.  I am constantly looking for something to stuff in my mouth.  So keeping healthier choices around me was essential to keeping the weight off, and now to help me get the weight back down. 

I have to keep reminding myself I have a tool inside me, a gift.  One I can use for good or for bad.  I can cheat it, I can pretend it isn't there telling me to stop eating, or I can let it take charge again, and listen.  That is where I am today, listening.  Letting my stomach be the guide, not my head.  Because heaven knows where my head will take me.  It will stuff whatever it can in my mouth. 

Right now my eating is simply out of control.  I eat what I want when I want to eat it.  Someone on here once wrote, "I am not on a low fat diet, I am on a low intake diet."  I loved that.  I still believe that can be true for some people.  And maybe for me someday.  But I took it too far.  I believed I could truly eat whatever I wanted.  She wasn't saying she could eat one See's candy a day, she was saying, she could enjoy one See's candy a month maybe.  She was saying she could have real cheese, but not half the block, use real sour cream, but not smother her chicken in it.  And first and foremost she was eating her protein.  I think that is my hardest lesson.  I don't gravitate to protein.  I like most overweight folks gravitate toward carbs and candy.  In fact, I am not a one kind of fat offender.  Some people can choose between sweet snacks or satly, yeah I choose both.  I can't pick.  I am the girl with the bucket of popcorn and the box of M&M's at the movies.  I still live that way.

I am not sure where this post is headed other than to say I know losing this weight won't be like my initial weight loss after surgery.  Just because I have come to expect the weight to fall off doesn't mean it is going to happen without a lot of cooperation from me.  I am prepared to cooperate.  I guess that is where this is going.

Anyway, Happy Monday Everyone.  Ta ta for now.

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