Just thinking about some things

Apr 25, 2010

Full speed ahead to my surgery date!!! 23 days left. I wish I could close my eyes and wake up and have it over with. I am not too keen on being in the hospital and having a catheter so I hope that goes by fast. I just wanna get home and start working on my self.  I went and got some more supplements today and a food scale, so I am good to go with everything I need. It feels good to get ready. 

I was in Target today with my cousin and my friend Jaime (both of which are skinny and beautiful) and they were looking at bathing suits and instead of being miserable looking with them I felt hopeful... Maybe next year this time I will be looking with them.

This week I tried a zumba class with my cousin to see if I liked it, it was definitely fun but I felt like the lady that owned the studio was nuts. It is very cultish hard to explain but people that do zumba like eat, live , dress and breath it. It was definitely a fun workout but I'm not sure I was crazy about the people.

Soooo pre-op diet starts really soon. I am looking forward to that. I have been eating like everything in sight just because well I can, and I know after the next week and a half that is over but I am looking forward to it. I hear that when you start to do the pre-op its the beginning of getting in touch with your body. I hope that I learn alot from this experience that I can share in the future with other people who are going through the WLS process! 

I was browsing on someone elses page today on OH and it said in her profile that she regrets the surgery and would take it back if she could. That made me sad. Sad for her and sad for the other people out there who feel that way. I really hope I don't feel that way. I cannot wait until my clothes sizes don't have an X in front of them...... so I don't have to by maternity clothes to find stylish clothes that fit. I cannot wait until I can have sex with my husband and keep up with him or to go on a roller coaster and not worry about if I am gonna fit in the seat, or to go to the park with my step kids and be able to run around, to see a picture of myself and not wish I could photo shop it, to be able to by more than jewelry from Forever XXi, to feel confident and good about myself.

I have just alot of things going on in my mind different thoughts I can only focus on for a min at a time.

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