WLS struggles and stricture hell

Aug 05, 2010

It has been a while since I have been on here and I am sorry for that because OH is a place where I can go that I feel not so alone and I should be relying on that resource alot more than I have been. Sooo much has been going on since last post. I am still in a bad place as far as my surgery goes I am almost 11 weeks out and I still can only get in soft foods if any at all. I had my third stretch on wednesday this week and so far haven't seen a difference. 4th one is scheduled for next thursday and I am hoping to get some relief. Good thing is that my Dr. was kind enough to put me back out on fulltime disability until September 1st so at least I can puke in peace at my own house in my own toilet, This experience is so draining and I would give anything to find someone who has been through this same post op nightmare. Is there anyone out there that has had strictures that can offer some words of encouragement??? Anyone?? Bueller??

My husband is in the Airforce has been for 12 years and he had to leave for 4 months to go to a training before we get our new assignment so I decided to move back in with my parents for a few to save some money. I miss my husband desperately and it has sucked going through everything without him, but I have to give my parents credit. They have been taking such good care of me. I guess noone can love or care for a girl better than her own parents. They make sure the house is always filled with foods I can get in and my mom rubs my back when I am sick and throwing up. There is a level of comfort here that I just never experienced when my husband was home.
 
I am hoping that after this next stretch if I don't get any relief that my surgeon will decide to put the stent in. At this point I would almost rather at least that would guarentee the hole to stay open and stop healing itself closed all the time. I know so many people that have has gastric bypass and I am the only one who has dealt with the stricture issue. Is this common?? Why me?? When will it get better?? I just keep running those same questions over in my head. At this point in time if you asked me if I am glad that I had the surgery I would 100% answer NO WAY, but I really wish that would change. I want to not regret this decision and to be proud of the new me but I am just not at that place yet. I am down about 52 pounds so far which is wonderful and my body is starting to take shape and look different (and I am keeping my curves thank god) but I just can't relish in the good all I can concentrate on is how shitty I feel all the time. It puts such a hinderance on my life. I go out and I have to have alternate plans to get home (like an emergency escape route) just in case I end up sick.

So much of this sounds negative but I don't want that I just want to stay positive it is just hard.

On a brighter note I am in a size 14 which is too big so I should probably start buying a size 12. When you are use to being heavy its hard to admit to yourself that you need a smaller size, I am so use to saying the opposite... "guess that 18 didnt fit let me try a 20". I lost a full cup size in my boobs already. I couldnt get buy with my old bras anymore so I went yesterday and bought a new one at vicky's. Happy to report I am now a 36 C from a 38 D.

I also accomplished one of my first goals recently and purchased 2 items from the P!nk store. I always loved their sweats but I was never able to fit in them until yesterday, so that was a huge huge accomplishment for me. It made me feel really proud of myself.

It is kind of cool that my husband is going to be away for so long because the next time I see him I am going to look like a totally different person and I am very excited for that moment.

K OH readers... thank you for letting regain a little bit of my sanity by spewing out all of my frustrations.

xoxo

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