My first Christmas...

Dec 22, 2011

This will be my first Christmas since surgery. Christmas in my family means tons of family coming together at my mothers house, and tons of FOOD being there! Cookies, pies, cakes, cheese balls, nuts, chips, crackers, chili... everything you can imagine, it will be there. And Alcohol... oh the alcohol... my step father and aunt will be smashed, and my mother will have one drink and laugh at everything. Oh the joys of family during the holidays.

Everyone has that one member of the family that everyone cant stand. For me, thats one cousin. She never has anything nice to say about anyone, and has such low self esteem that she hits on everyone else's boyfriends and husbands. Everyone knows this, and basically just tolerates the behavior. I wonder what she will have to say this year to me?

Despite all of the disfunction, I am looking forward to spending time with the people I love. I am making veggie bars, and bringing a cheese spread and Kashi crackers that I know I can eat and enough to share as well! I am making healthy choices, and will spend mroe time with the PEOPLE than the FOOD. I will seat myself away from the table, and interact with everyone there. Food is a source of nutrition, not socialization! 

I have made a lot of progress the last month. I am back at the gym - not as much as I would like to be, but enough to get my strength training back up to where I want it to be, and am working on setting up a schedule with a personal trainer here at work for February. I am going to do one session with one of them, and then maybe book a set of 10 sessions. The summer time will be much easier to do that, as I wont have to transport kids to and from school. I figure the trainer will push me more than I am pushing myself right now. I admit, I have backed off of myself, as I am worried about getting dehydrated or pulling something. I used to work out like a fiend - now, if I feel it hurting, I stop. Thats not me. I need to be pushed. So, I am going to pay someone to push me! 

Food wise, I have been struggling. It seems every month, when I get my period, I cannot tolerate food. It hurts and makes me sick. Protein shakes make me gag. Protein bars seem to be okay most of the time. Yogurt is the other thing that seems to work most of the time. It sucks.

I am 3 months out and have lost a total of 81 pounds since late March. 61 of those pounds were lost since surgery. That averages about 20 pounds a month. I'll take it! I dont know of any diet in the world you can use and lose this much weight in a month, lol.

NSV's:

Went from a size 38 pants, 5X shirt to a 30 or 32 pants and 3X or 4X shirt (depending on style and brand)
Had to move my car seat up to drive.
I have had to adjust my office desk chair about 10 times, due to the changes in my body.
My feet are shrinking - my shoes are too big!
Working out is easier, as I have less weight to carry now.
No foot pain! 

One "bad" NSV - running out of clothes... I have 1 pair of size 30 pants, and the 32's I have are getting baggy - and I am having to hold them up when I walk. I finally broke down and ordered 2 pairs of size 28 jeans online - hoping I will be in those in January.

Goals:
Lose a total of 100 pounds by February 1, 2012.
Wear a size 26 by my birthday in March.
Do the Adirondack Extreme in June - and be strong enough to do most of the course!
Learn to kayak
Run a 5K  (I begin training for this in the spring!) in honor of a dear friend who passed away a little over a year ago. She was my motivation to have this surgery and "live" my life. (I will write that story another time.)


My goals no longer are focused around meals or food. Do I feel hunger yet? Yes. I am getting the hungry/full sensations back. The bad thing is, they are reversed from what they used to feel like! When I am hungry now, my stomach feels like it used to feel when I was full. When I am full, I have the old hunger feeling. It's an odd thing, but my brain is adjusting to the new signals, and I am being more mindful of them as well.

0 Comments