It's been 14 Days since I Don't Know When

Jun 07, 2013

It's been several days since my last blog post. Several days of weight gain. I knew I'd gain when I started eating again; 2 lbs, then 1 lb, then I stopped weighing since it was making me sad. Then I lost the ability to hold on, and I pigged out. The next day, another pig out. Feeling like I'll fail again. I haven't lost that insane uncontrollable urge for food, and I always just give in. There isn't even a mental argument. No fight. Just "i'm going to eat." period. 

Today was my Cardiologist appt (I LOVE my new cardio!) and he gave me clearance immediately, no other tests needed. He said I looked great and he didn't even recognize me when he walked in the room. 

So I guess that's it. The surgery is a "go". 

Tomorrow I start the Optifast again. On Thursday I stop my coumadin, fish oil, aspirin. 

The following Tuesday is my surgery.

Can't believe it's really going to happen. I'm excited. 

Worried about my inability to stop eating. What if I stretch my pouch out and end up putting it all back on? I think I need to start therapy right away. Unfortunately, I can't afford a copay every week. 

I really need to go back to work. Disability just ain't cuttin' it. 

I feel so  good in my "skinny jeans". 

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