reasons

Apr 27, 2010

I'm 23. I've been this way for at least 10 years; nearly half my life. And lately all I seem to be doing is getting bigger.

I'm sick of starving myself to lose a pound, only to gain it back the next second.
I can't excerise because I can't breathe properly anymore. Climbing a flight of stairs is next to impossible & the words "brisk walk" send shivers down my spine. 
I want kids. Someday. And I know I will never get the weight off long enough to get there. 
This is vanity, but I really don't want to be a fat bride. I don't want to hate the photos of what is supposed to be the happiest day of my life. 

I've noticed there are no pictures of me from the last 2 years - I don't want any pictures taken of me. I'm a recent college grad and I know my chances of getting a job are pretty hard when I'm like this. I feel like everyone just looks at me and doesn't realize how great of a person I am because the fat is standing in the way. I feel judged when I eat in public. The list just goes on & on.

Not to mention - my fiance's mother was a large woman. She passed away this past October from a heart attack. She was 64 - and I don't want that to happen to me, ever. I miss her a lot and I wonder now if it needed to happen - I doubt she knew OHIP would pay for WLS. I didn't know until this March, but I had been thinking of it for a couple of years; just knew it would be a really long time before I could afford it.

Also, there's one last reason - my very own mother. She has brought up my weight every single time she talks to me for the past 11 years. (And yet, when I told her about this surgery, she is completely against it and thinks I'm being foolish & taking an unneeded drastic measure. Go figure). I just want her to SHUT UP about how concerned she is "for my health" (which we all know is a crock of shit saying which means, "I'm embarrassed to have a fat daughter, why can't you deal with it?").

Anyway. Those are my reasons for doing this. I can't wait.

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