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 My scale was liberated for a brief time today so that we could have a weight to go with my measurements today.  I've lost an awesome 22 inches and 35 pounds.  Go me!!!!  

 I like water.  I like water.  I like water.  I like water.  I like water. I like water.  I like water.  I like water.  I like .......

I went to Catholic Schools ran by manic nuns.  For detention we had to write and write and write.  Usually whatever minor infraction that was being blown out of proportion was the subject.  I found after 3 years of being misunderstood and my creative free-wheeling spirit dying before my eyes the secret of the writing.  Instead of being deterred from repeating my learning experiences I usually walked out even more resolved and committed to my issue.  So I now evoke the Sister's of Ursuline to give me strength..... 

I like water...I like water....I like water....I like water....I like swimming, bathing, so what's up with drinking?  Since my surgery I can't get down a decent amount of water.  Previously I drank 80 oz a day.  So I'm reverting back to  positivity of negativity....so I like water

Okay I know I was complaining about being stuck at 257 and losing inches well it now looks like my body decided to participate in this wl journey.  I now weigh 252 and have been losing a little less than 1 pound a day.  I know it's going to slow up since this isn't sustainable.  Just hoping it will wait until I'm under 235 while I still have a scale. I've informed all of my friends and family that someone has to steal/hide my scale for atleast 6 months.  I can't stop weighing myself and I know it isn't healthy.   I've got to learn to listen to my body and stay on plan to meet my goal.  So although I will initially whine about someone actually removing it in the long run it's for the best.

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Who knew my affinity with numerology?  I didn't but there's something about 257 that my subconscious is digging,  There is something about those three numbers.  Prior to surgery I definitely would agree that it has held center stage quite often during my yo-yo phases, my weight revolved around 2-5-7.  But even now as a post op?  Everyone around me says they see the weight loss and I would agree some clothes are looser but they don't understand my need to remove this hex on my scale. To banish these 3 digits from my life permanently.  I walked 2 miles yesterday and this morning I just knew I would be at 255 but that's not the case.  I know I'm only 2 weeks post op and it's gonna happen.  Then I'll look back and chuckle at how I thought I was being bested by 2-5-7 when obviously it will be some other number before this is all done and over with. 

I had my final nutrition class today at the hospital and it was really fantastic.  In their list of tips for a successful wls experience they suggest writing a letter to yourself and I immediately thought wow I can have a butterfly effect.  For those unaware of the principle basically it says that a small change can cause significant changes later on down the line. 

I hate writing but I need to keep track of why I'm doing this before encountering the rough patches.  Today is the first day of my 14 day liquid diet.  I actually like liquid protein drinks so I'm not struggling yet.  I stress yet because I haven't ever done a liquid only diet on purpose.  I've had days when I have forgotten to eat but never deliberately.  At least with medifast I had one lean and green a day.  But my surgeon requires optifast so here i am.

I spoke with my favorite cousin today and i realized i miss her.  I have deliberately removed myself from being around my family and friends due to my size.  And although most people say you aren't that big...i always think compared to what or better yet who?  I'm bigger than I ever wanted to be and hate being uncomfortable  in my own skin.  My cousin stated she's gained about 30 pounds and sympathized with how i feel.  She said although she didn't notice the gain, she's amazed by how far people move out of the way when she's walking down lets say a hall.  And as she said that it occurred to me how often i've had a seat to myself on either a plane or other mass transportation.  My husband and I typically are going somewhere every couple of months and we sit together.  Well lately i have traveled without hubby and often find the seat next to me vacant.  I would quickly dismiss it to luck but southwest is an open seating airline, so people choose where that want to sit and no one wants the fat lady as a partner.  Same applies to the train and bus.  

I've become that person we all see but try not to see
as you walk quickly by and try not to make eye contact
wondering if they feel your eyes slide across their girth
as if you are a carnival barker appraising their weight
    
                      Step right up , Step right up and win prize

condemning them withoout knowing them
condemning myself for feeling smug
condemning my children to a life without a mother 
and failing to realize that life is the prize

so i am stepping up 

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